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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? > > WITNESS: No, I just lie there. > > > > ____________________________________________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > > WITNESS: Yes. > > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > > WITNESS: I forget. > > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you > > forgot? > > _____________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that > > morning? > > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" > > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? > > WITNESS: My name is Susan! > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in > > voodoo? > > WITNESS: We both do. > > ATTORNEY: Voodoo? > > WITNESS: We do. > > ATTORNEY: You do? > > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his > > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? > > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? > > ____________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? > > WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. > > ________________________________________=20 > > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? > > WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > > WITNESS: Yes. > > > > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? > > WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid! > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? > > WITNESS: Yes. > > ATTORNEY: How many were boys? > > WITNESS: None. > > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? > > WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a > different > > attorney. Can I get a new attorney? > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? > > WITNESS: By death. > > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? > > WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? > > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. > > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? > > WITNESS: Guess. > > _____________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a > deposition > > notice which I sent to your attorney? > > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on > dead > > people? > > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you > > > like to rephrase that? > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you > go > > to? > > WITNESS: Oral. > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? > > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was > doing > > an autopsy on him! > > ___________________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? > > WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? > > ______________________________________ > > And the best for last: > > ______________________________________ > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check > for > > pulse? > > WITNESS: No. > > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? > > WITNESS: No. > > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? > > WITNESS: No. > > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when > > you > > > began the autopsy? > > WITNESS: No. > > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > > ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, > > nevertheless? > > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and > > practicing law :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :hi:
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