Gimme that Old Time Religion

[Jackpine Radical]

CLASSICAL PAGANISM

We will go to worship Zeus You can dance and wave the thyrsos
Though his morals are quite loose And sing lots of rowdy verses
He gave Leda quite a goose Till the neighbors holler curses,
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

We will pray to Father Zeus We will sing for great Diana
In his temple we'll hang loose Who will teach of love and honor
Eating roast beef au jus, But you really gotta wanna!
And that's good enough for me! 'Cause she's tough enough for me!

Shall we sing a verse for Venus, We went off to worship Venus
Of the Gods she is the meanest, By the Gods! You should have seen us!
Cause she bit me on my...elbow! Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!

We will venerate old Bacchus It was good enough for Sappho
Drinking beer and eating tacos With her lady on her lap-o
Til you've tried it please don't knock us She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause it's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry!

Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, When we worship Bacchus
We will raise a royal ruckus, The ethanol will sock us
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us We'll all get good and raucous
That's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

Diana is a little spikey We'll sing praises to Apollo;
And she is a little dyke-ey Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
You don't have to be a Psych-e ('Though his head's a little hollow)
To know that's right for me! He's good enough for me!

We will worship with Poseidon Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
We will meet him when the tide's in Tho he's lost his vital juices
All the maidens he will ride in The old boy still has his uses
Then he'll give 'em all to me! And he's good enough for me!

All the hunters start convergin' We will all bow to Hephaestus
When Diana is emergin' As a blacksmith he will test us
It's too bad she's still a virgin 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
But there's still hope left for me! So he's good enough for me!

And what about this Bacchus, There is room enough in Hades
Who lives just to raise a ruckus? For lots of criminals and shadies
Loosens women so they'll f**k us, And disreputable ladies,
Well, that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!

We will all see Aphrodite And to help things get real racous
Though she's pretty wild and flighty The priests of Pan and Bacchus
She will meet us in her nightie Will hold a f***ing contest!
And she's good enough for me! And that's all right with me!

Oh we will go and worship Pan, Bumper stickers of all sizes
'Cause he just don't give a damn! At quite reasonable prices
Grab a woman or a man, They say 'ankh' if you love Isis
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

Was a time, so I've heard tell, a We all worshipped Dionysus
Fine and promising young fella 'Till we ran into a crisis:
Gave his all to serve Cybele The bar had raised its prices;
But that's damn well not for me! That's not good enough for me!

We'll sing praises to Apollo There's that lusty old Priapus
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow He's just itching to unwrap us.
From Ionia to Gaul-o (He'd do more to us than tap us
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!)

We will have a mighty Party Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
In the honor of Astarte And it really was a bummer
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy Finally had to call a plumber!
'Cause she's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me!

In his dancing Pan will lead them Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
When his pipes call we will heed them She was into golden showers;
In truth tho, he don't need them And that showed her Zeus' power
He's more than enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!

There's one thing that I do know Let us dance with Dionysus
Zeus' favorite is Juno And get drunk on wine and spices
She's the best at doing...you know! The Christians call them "vices"
And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!

It was good enough for Cupid We will venerate old Hermes
It was good enough for Cupid With his staff entwined with wormies
His wings look kind of stupid Warding off the nasty germies
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

Let's all drink to Dionysus We will all bow down to Venus
Wine and women beyond prices! As we dance upon Mt. Zenos
He made a Maenad out of my Sis! We will worship with our....voice
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

There are those who, when they've got e-
Normous problems that are knotty
They just take them to Hecate We all worship Aphrodite,
And that's good enough for me! And Her sister bold Astarte,
They both throw a lovely party,
In the church of Aphrodite And that's just fine with me!
She's a mighty righteous sightie,
The Priestess wears a see through nightie
And she's good enough for me

We remember Ariadne Tho they wrote "Star Spangled Banner"
To whom Theseus was a cad, he On Anacreon's pinanner
Split and left her feeling badly He has such a laid-back manner
Good old Baccus set her free! That he's good enough for me!

Anacreon's drinkin' hearty If you plan to court Medusa
At a never-ending party At her place in Syracusa
Charter member from the start, he's Take a mirror; what's the use-a
Got the seat I'd like for me! Getting stoned before your spree?

To Prometheus let us hark Aphrodite in her bower
In bringing fire, he made his mark Calls her lovers by the hour
Or we'd be dancing in the dark Joyful loving is her dower
And that's not good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!

Pan and all the satyrs prayed in If you have the itchy-squirmies
Chorus when they saw a maiden Then you better pray to Hermes
"What a great place to get laid in!" He will cure you of your germies
And it's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!

We had better worship Neptune If you pray unto Uranus
We had better worship Neptune Then your crime is truly henious
If we don't we'll all be wet soon You can stick it in your...songbook
And that's wet enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

Let us all join with the Dryads A most vile persisten lecher
Let us all join with the Dryads Scorned by one, set out to catch her
Trees may not be quite the Triad When his magic couldn't fetch her
But they're good enough for me! Poor Atlanta turned to me!

It was good for Greek Apollo We will frolic with old Bacchus
Though his act is hard to follow We don't care if some folks mock us
Full of lyres I cannot swallow 'Cause his rites are rather raucous
But it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!

It was good for old Achilles We will even worship Hades
Though death gave his Mom the willies Though he dwells among the shadies
She Styx-dipped him by the heelies He still picks up pretty ladies
And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!

We will worship Aphrodite In the Temple of Apollo
We will worship Aphrodite All the laurel leaves we'll swallow
'Cause we've seen her in her nightie Then the colored trails will follow
And that's good enough for me! And that's stoned enough for me!

Let us never forget Puck We will worship old Apollo
Leads us wand'ring thru the muck He's got others beat all hollow
He don't give a flying f*** Let him lead and we will follow
But he's Fool enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

We will worship old Poseidon We will run the Lupercalia
And the dolphin he's a-ridin' With our leather paraphenalia
Tho it has a scaly hide on Substitute for genitalia
Still, that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!

It was good for fair Apollo It was good for lovely Artemis
For the Sun's rays he doth follow Who'd like to get to the heart of us
He'll be back again tomorrow She's glad to be a part of us
And that's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Hecate At Troy nobody was mean-a
She's trying to make a witch of me That the Great Goddess Athena
I wish I could choose which one of three Mopped them up with Ajax clean-a
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

If you're worshipping Athena It was good enough for Hades
Then your morals must be clean-a Tho I'm glad he didn't make us
And your brain a little keen-a At least, he won't try to save us
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

We've neglected Father Zeus We will worship Queen Omphale
Tho it seems a bit obtuse Who drove Heracles to folly
We think more of Mother Goose For they dressed in drag, by golly!
But he's good enough for me! I dunno if that's for me!

We will all go worship Plutus Young Bacchus in the springtime
And with riches he'll salute us Leads the dancers round the grapevine
All that gold would surely suit us Soon those grapes are gonna be wine
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

Demeter's bees within the hive Dionysius drank his wine down
Hum with joy to be alive And the Bacchae stumbled all 'round
Matriarchy is no jive And the pirate ship went aground
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!

We will go and worship Juno In the temple which is Hebe's
For there's one thing that we do know And constructed by the Sea-Bees
She did not burn Brother Bruno She can cure the heebie-jeebies
And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!

We're not crazy over Aries We will go and worship Vesta
For his men give us the scaries For her cooking is the best-a
And they kill like Christ's and Mary's All the food at the fiesta
Which ain't good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!

I'll bow down and worship Ops Let us pray to our Demeter
'Cause we think that she is tops In the fields we'll go to greet her
Turns a lotta guys into Pops Then we'll grind her up and eat her
And she's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!

Let us all sing for the Dryad Let us run from the Bacchantes
Let us all sing for the Dryad For they're not your maiden Aunties
For Bulldozers make them may-ad And they don't wear underpanties
But they're good enough for me! But they're mad enough for me!

It was good enough for Cybele We will -not- go worship Aries
She brought Attis back from Hell Tho his chest's a mat o' hair, he's
Though his tee-tee wasn't well Down on Wogs and Pinks and Fairies
But it's good enough for me And that isn't cool, by me!

We will all team up in dyads Sweet Persephone was roaming
With the Oreads and Dryads Through the meadows far from home 'n
Succubi and Sylphs and Naiads Pluto grabbed her -- awful omen!
Cause we like variety! (Though it shows he has good taste...)