Post inappropriate wedding songs

[pagerbear]

In honor of bicentennial_baby, post your choices for inappropriate wedding songs. (I'm talking about the ceremony, not the reception.)

[DixieBlue]

1. the bitch is back.

[Katina]

2. Baby's in Black

or Love Stinks

[flvegan]

3. "Used to Love Her..." by Guns n Roses

[bicentennial_baby]

4. ....

:spray:

[LeftyMom]

103. Get out of my brain! There simply isn't room for the both of us!

:grr:

He stole my answer.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. Me So Horny, 2 Live Crew

:D

[Left Is Write]

23. Why is that inappropriate?

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. Gold digger by Kanye West

[idgiehkt]

66. Holler "We want pre-nup! We want pre-nup!"

it's just sumpin that you need to have
cause when she leave yo ass she gonna leave with half

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That song is decidedly un-p.c. but it has some hilarious lyrics in it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU13MRtSD7E
Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her under arm
She said I can tell you rock
I can tell by ya charm
Far as girls you got a flock
I can tell by ya charm and ya arm
but I'm lookin' for the one
have you seen her?
My psychic told me she'll have a ass like Serena
Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids
An' I gotta take all they bad ass to show-biz
Okay get ya kids but then they got they friends
I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up in
We all went to din and then I had to pay
If you fuckin' with this girl then you betta' be paid
You know why
Take too much to touch her
From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she used to fuck with Usher
I don't care what none of y'all say I still love her



18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was supposed to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin' around lookin' like Michael with ya money
Shoulda' got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey(your money)
If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup
WE WANT PRE-NUP!, yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo' ass she gon' leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his?



Now I ain't sayin' you a gold digger, you got needs
You want a dude to smoke, but he can't buy weed
You go out to eat, can't pay, y'all can't leave
There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves
But while y'all washin', watch him
He gon' make a Benz out of that Datsun
He got that ambition, baby look in his eyes
(Jamie Foxx comes in)
This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's the fries
So, stick by his side
I know his dude's ballin', and yeah that's nice
And they gon' keep callin' and tryin'
But you stay right, girl
But when you get on, he leave yo' ass for a white girl

[skygazer]

7. Every Breath You Take

Which plenty of people did play at their weddings when it came out. :wtf:

[bicentennial_baby]

12. That's creepy!

:o

[Arkansas Granny]

67. I heard Sting comment on that a few years ago. He thinks it shows

that many people don't really pay attention to the lyrics. It's always seemed a little creepy to me.

[hyphenate]

88. Definitely

If you listen, it's definitely about a stalker.

[Arkansas Granny]

92. Yup. I'll be watching you!

[hyphenate]

95. Trust me

I'm not worth watching. Besides, I only stalk obscure British/Canadian actors. :)

[peekaloo]

8. O.P.P.

yeah you know me

[Wiccan Warrior]

9. Hell's Bells? n/t

[rug]

10. Boots of Spanish Leather.

[DS1]

11. Hotel California

[Orrex]

13. Fiarytale of New York -- Pogues

"You're a bum, you're a punk."

"You're an old slut on junk,
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed."

[KurtNYC]

14. Suspicious Minds - "I can't walk out....you've lost that lovin' feelin' "

Also:
Missy Elliot - "Work It"
Sir Mixalot - "Big Butts"
Beach Boys - "California Girls"
Stones - "Some Girls"

[JackBeck]

15. Like A Virgin.

[yurbud]

128. that would only be inappropriate for MOST brides

[evlbstrd]

16. Harder Than Your Husband

Frank Zappa

[MrCoffee]

17. Love Will Tear Us Apart

such a sweet song.

[Orrex]

18. Excellent choice!

Funny how you never hear that one when Top40 crap stations are playing "Back to the 80's" weekends...

[xmas74]

29. Proof that such a talent left us too soon.

And a highly inappropriate wedding song to boot.

[EstimatedProphet]

19. Hell in a Bucket

Words by John Perry Barlow; music by Bob Weir
Copyright Ice Nine Publishing; used by permission.

Well, I was drinking last night with a biker
And I showed him a picture of you
I said, "Pal, get to know her. You'll like her."
Seemed like the least I could do...

'Cause when he's driving his chopper
Up and down your carpeted halls,
You will think me by contrast quite proper.
Never mind how I stumble and fall.
Never mind how I stumble and fall.


You imagine me sipping champagne from your boot
For a taste of your elegant pride
I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe,
But at least I'm enjoying the ride.
At least I'm enjoying the ride.
At least I'm enjoying the ride.

Now miss sweet little soft-core pretender,
Somehow baby got hard as it gets.
With her black leather chrome spiked suspenders,
Her chair and her whip and her pets.

Well we know you're the reincarnation
Of the ravenous Catherine the Great.
And we know how you love your ovations
For the Z-rated scenes you create.
The Z-rated scenes you create.


You analyze me, pretend to despise me,
You laugh when I stumble and fall.
There may come a day I will dance on your grave
If unable to dance, I will crawl across it
Unable to dance, I'll still crawl.

You must really consider the circus
'Cause it just might be your kind of zoo
I can't think of a place that's more perfect
For a person as perfect as you.

And it's not like I'm leaving you lonely
'Cause I wouldn't know where to begin
But I know that you'll think of me only
When the snakes come marching in
When the snakes come marching in

[TheProphetess]

46. How could you?

I thought that was our song!



:rofl:

[EstimatedProphet]

51. Just because we played it at our wedding doesn't mean everyone should!

[Lyric]

20. "Magic Stick"

I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
Shorty don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you maaagic
(What? What?) Maaagic
I got the magic stick

:rofl:

[NC_Nurse]

21. Love Stinks.

[Left Is Write]

22. I Will Always Love You

It's a break-up song, people. A break-up song!

[Orrex]

45. If there's a sound made by puppies and kittens wrongly sent to Hell

Then the sound is still greatly preferable to Whitney Houston's shrieking on that song.

Worse, the song is much favored by fans of karaoke and other people desperate to demonstrate that they think that they can sing.

Horrible horrible horrible.

[jobycom]

76. I know, that always killed me. And ON John's "I love you" was the same way.

The people who play these songs are the same ones who vote for Bush. They never read beneath the title.

[Seashell Eyes]

24. I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones

Gone Daddy Gone- Violent Femmes

[Tikki]

77. Well, you're a "Loudmouth" baby.....

..."You better shut it up
I'm gonna beat you up"....Ramones


Tikki

[Seashell Eyes]

82. that one's even more inappropriate.

Also,"Bigmouth Strikes Again" -the Smiths
It's a great song. I didn't realize how violent it was until I googled the lyrics

[rucky]

112. "Every time I eat vegetables..." n/t

[Call Me Wesley]

25. A few:

Highway To Hell
Another one bites the dust
Because I Got High
This Is The End
You Can't Always Get What You Want
Can't find a better man
Mozart's Requiem
Goodbye To Romance
I spent my last 10 dollars on birth control and beer

[Rambis]

26. I'm sick of you Iggy and the stooges (nm)

x

[wildhorses]

27. 50 ways to leave your lover~paul simon

[JoDog]

28. Two out of Three Ain't Bad

By Meatloaf:

"I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
Now, don't feel sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad."

[wildhorses]

30. he stopped lovin' her today~george jones

[NaturalHigh]

31. Highway to Hell.

[Gormy Cuss]

32. D-I-V-O-R-C-E sung by Tammy Wynette n/t

[NaturalHigh]

33. Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe.

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong - Spin Doctors.

[wildhorses]

34. love hurts~nazereth

[wildhorses]

35. whats love got to do with it~tina turner

[Yavin4]

36. "My Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas

Inappropriate for every occasion.

[petronius]

38. I scrolled all the way down here to reply to your subject with

"Inappropriate for all occasions!"

Then I saw the text of your message - GMTA...

[wildhorses]

37. help me rhonda~the beach boys

[wildhorses]

39. my boyfriend's back and there's gonna be trouble

[petronius]

40. "Little Girls" - Boingo

[av8rdave]

41. You're Breaking My Heart - Nilsson

[mzteris]

42. White Wedding

just cause I lurves me some billy idol.

[LostinVA]

64. That's actually getting played at my wedding

[mzteris]

68. Cool.

I wish I could be there, ya know.


Even I did turn yall in for "fighting" that time.



You guys rock!






Still :hide: from Haruka

[LostinVA]

84. Hahahaha -- we were talking about that the other day!

[Coventina]

43. My Wife Thinks You're Dead - Junior Brown

:-)

[bleedingheart]

44. I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me - Polka

and yes...this is a real song...

[BrotherBuzz]

47. Cast Your Fate To The Wind by Vince Guaraldi

[judaspriestess]

48. I want to Piss on you

a lovely remake of an RKelly song by Dave Chappelle

[Metta]

49. She's having my baby.

:)

[fudge stripe cookays]

55. Damn! Ya beat me! n/t

[Metta]

85. Great minds think alike.

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

50. 'You Need Feet'

You need feet to stand up straight with
You need feet to kick your friends
You need feet to keep your socks on
And stop your legs from fraying at the end

You need feet to walk to Scunthorpe
Or to dance the Hootchy-Koo
Yes, the whole world needs feet for something
And I need feet to run away from you


—Bernard Bresslaw


(Spoken version from a "Dick Van Dyke" episode titled "The Return of Edwin Carp.")

[LynneSin]

52. "Your Time is Gonna Come" by Led Zeppelin

"Lying, Cheating, Hurting that's all you seem to do"

2nd place would be "The Lemon Song" - Squeeze my lemon until the juice runs down my leg

Best LZ wedding song - "Thank You"
If the sun refuse to shine, I will still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

[jmowreader]

53. Just about anything from GG Allin or John Valby

[dembotoz]

54. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with.

was that csny?

[MilesColtrane]

56. "The Lady is a Tramp"

it's an old standard

[CBHagman]

110. Actually, that's a misunderstood song.

As with "Born in the USA," people tend to pay attention to the title and not the lyrics.

I don't know the whole story and context behind Lorenz Hart's lyrics to "The Lady Is a Tramp," but I do know that the title figure is admirable, not contemptible. She's a woman without pretensions.

I suggest listening to Ella Fitzgerald's version of the song on her Rodgers and Hart Songbook album.

http://www.lorenzhart.org/trampsng.htm


I've wined and dined on Mulligan stew
And never wished for turkey
As I hitched and hiked and grifted, too,
From Maine to Albuquerque.
Alas, I missed the Beaux Arts Ball,
And what is twice as sad,
I was never at a party
Where they honored Noel Ca' ad.
But social circles spin too fast for me.
My Hobohemia is the place to be.

I get too hungry for dinner at eight
I like the theater but never come late
I never bother with people I hate
That's why the lady is a tramp
I don't like crapgames with Barons and Earls
Won't go to Harlem in ermine and pearls
Won't dish the dirt with the rest of the girls
That's why the lady is a tramp
I like the free fresh wind in my hair
Life without care
I'm broke, it's oke
Hates California is cold and is damp
That's why the lady is a tramp

I go to Coney-the beach is divine.
I go to ball games-the bleachers are fine.
I follow Winchell and read ev'ry line.
That's why the lady is a tramp.
I like a prizefight that isn't a fake.
I love the rowing on Central Park Lake.
I go to opera and stay wide awake.
That's why the lady is a tramp.
I like the green grass under my shoes.
What can I lose?
I'm flat! That's that!
I'm all alone when I lower my lamp.
That's why the lady is a tramp.

[Heidi]

57. "She hates me" | Puddle of Mud

:yoiks:

bi_baby and sniffa, I wish you both a beautiful wedding but, even more important, a union of love, mutual respect and individual and collective growth. :hug:

[dancing kali]

58. Paradise By The Dashboard Light

Great song... wrong one to be played at a wedding ceremony.

[BlooInBloo]

63. It was long ago, it was far away, and it was so much better than it is today - HAWT!

[Iris]

59. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel nt

[JackBeck]

60. Another One Bites the Dust

[AwakeAtLast]

61. Me and Mrs. Jones

Soooo totally inappropriate!

[mitchum]

105. I had a friend who used to do the wedding band circuit and I tried and tried...

to get him to add that one to the setlist. Because, as you said...it is so inappropriate :)

[AwakeAtLast]

118. Trapped in the Closet

Oh man, I am :rofl: just thinking about that one at a reception!

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

62. Sexy and 17.

[idgiehkt]

65. NIN Head Like a Hole

head like a hole
black as your soul
I'd rather die
than give you control

I know it's not really about romance but it might be misunderstood, lol. :)

[auburngrad82]

69. I Like Trashy Women by Confederate Railroad

I noticed this morning that sometime in the last 15 years they've change the lyrics from a "Waffle House waitress in a Dolly Parton wig" to a "cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig." I'm assuming Waffle House complained.

[mzteris]

70. Keep your hands to yourself

...got a little change in my pocket going jingle lingle ling
Want to call you on the telephone baby I give you a ring
But each time we talk I get the same old thing
Always no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding ring
My honey my baby don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t give no lies and keep your hands to yourself

Cruel baby baby baby why you want to treat me this way
You know I’m still your lover boy I still feel the same way
That’s when she told me a story ’bout free milk and a cow
And she said no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding vow
My honey my baby don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lies and keep your hands to yourself

You see I wanted her real bad and I was about to give in
That’s when she started talkin’ true love started talkin’ about sin
I said honey I’ll live with you for the rest of my life
She said no huggin no kissin until you make me your wife
My honey my baby don’t put my love on no shelf
She don’t hand me no lies and keep your hands to yourself.

[BlooInBloo]

71. Last Day Of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor.

[Seabiscuit]

72. "These boots are made for walkin'"

[Seabiscuit]

73. "Under My Thumb"

[Seabiscuit]

74. "What's Love Got To Do With It?"

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

75. Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

[tigereye]

94. aha!

:rofl:


I'm sorry, that would just be so funny!

[flying rabbit]

111. Best. Wedding song. ever..

:rofl:

[Aristus]

78. "Every Breath You Take". Popular wedding song. Most totally inappropriate ever!

Does anybody read the lyrics, man? It's about a stalker, for Pete's sake! And people wanna play it at their wedding?

To say nothing of lyrics like "Every smile you fake,
Every vow you break..."

Say "Say,'I do'", preacherman!

[RedStateShame]

79. "Big Boring Wedding," Guided by Voices

A friend of mine got married last weekend, and despite my many offers, she opted not to walk down the aisle to my playing of the riff to "Big Borning Wedding." Not that the lyrics have anything to do with weddings, but she's all hooked on tradition. Oh, and "The Brides Have Hit Glass" by GbV.

[styersc]

80. "Keep it greazy, so it'll go down easy"

Random chorus in Frank Zappas Joe's Garage Part II.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

81. Apologies if someone has already posted this.....

But it's apropos and HAS to be mentioned:

http://www.youtube.com/v/QhZRe_6Tphk

[Seabiscuit]

83. "Weird Al" Jancovic: "One More Minute"

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms
In Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you."

etc., etc.

Also: "I'm sick of you"

[CBHagman]

122. That's my favorite lyric, too!

You got to hand it to Weird Al.

[otherlander]

86. ...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=20yyKTN5Gu0

This is the end, Beautiful friend...

Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain,
And all the children are insane...

[hyphenate]

87. Funny you should ask

While I'm playing Ray Price's cover of "There Goes My Everything":

I hear footsteps slowly walking
As they gently walk across the lonely floor
And a voice is softly saying
Darling this will be goodbye for evermore

There goes my reason for living
There goes the one of my dreams
There goes my only possession
There goes my everything

As my memory turns back the pages
I can see the happy years we’ve had before
Now the love that kept this heart beating
Has been shattered by the closing of the door


On edit:

I thought of another one--How Can I Tell Her by Lobo:

She knows when I'm lonesome.
She cried when I'm sad.
She's up in the good times.
She' s down in the bad.
Whenever I'm discouraged.
She knows just what to do.
But girl, she doesn't know about you.

I can tell her my troubles.
She makes them all seem right.
I can make up excuses.
Not to hold her at night.
We can talk of tomorrow.
I'll tell her things that I want to do.
But girl, how can I tell her about you?

How can I tell her about you?
Girl, please tell me what to do.
Everything seems right whenever I'm with you.
So girl, won't you tell me.
How to tell her about you?

How can I tell her I don't miss her whenever I'm away.
How can I say it's you and I think of every single night and day.
But when is it easy telling someone we're through.
Ah girl, help me tell her about you

[SOteric]

89. Onward Christian Soldiers.....

'marching as to war'...

[Phentex]

90. All Women Are Bad by The Cramps.

Played some Cramps at my reception.....


:)

[Connonym]

91. "Best Friend's Girlfriend"

"The Bitch is Back"
"Dude Looks Like a Lady"
"Brick House"
"Luka"
"Baby Got Back"
"19th Nervous Breakdown"

[tigereye]

93. Having My Baby? by Paul Anka

plus any number of songs by the Velvet Underground or Lou Reed.

[WinkyDink]

96. "Your Cheatin' Heart".

[Lydia Leftcoast]

101. I have an organist friend who was actually asked to accompany that

at a wedding.

When he asked why that song, the couple said, "It was playing on the jukebox in the bar where we met."

Hoooooh-kay!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

102. Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin

[pagerbear]

115. Reminds me of a tale I heard of a woman who walked up the aisle to "Secondhand Rose"

Her name was Rose and it was her second marriage. One assumes she had a great sense of humor, too.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

116. Oh, that song brings back uncomfortable memories

Many years ago, I attended a wedding in which the bride's father did not approve of the groom, who had been married before.

There was an open bar at the reception, and I suppose Father of the Bride had imbibed a bit too much. When it came time for the toasts, he announced that Bride was going to sing one of her favorite songs, "Second Hand Rose." This was obviously news to Bride, who looked appalled, but she gamely went through with it, changing the line "Even Jake the plumber, he's the guy I adore/has the nerve to tell me he's been married before" to a line from another verse about wearing someone else's old coat.

Still, have you ever seen a whole roomful of people cringing at once?

By the way, this wedding took place in the 1970s, and the couple is still married.

[hughee99]

97. "Ugly woman" - Jimmy Soul

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife"

[hughee99]

98. Fat lady Polka

"I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me"

[jane_pippin]

121. Ha! My family plays that at every wedding.

Of course, they are insane lunatics. :D

[hughee99]

99. "Wasn't me" - Shaggy n/t

[1monster]

100. I Will, I Will, For Now

movie theme from somewhere in the mid to late seventies about contract marriage. The marriages were for three years with an option to renew.

[mitchum]

104. "Me and Mrs Jones"

[LibraLiz1973]

106. Hate Myself For Loving You- Joan Jett

[Fire Walk With Me]

107. "I don't care about you, f*ck you" by FEAR

If you need lyrics.

Perhaps "Retard" by SPK?

If you want inappropriate, that is.

[YDogg]

108. Crazy Rap - Afroman

[PassingFair]

109. Etta James: Stop the Wedding

Don't Do It!
Stop the Wedding!

[rucky]

113. REM - The One I Love n/t

[Lady President]

114. Winona's Big Brown Beaver

Direct quote from a friend's wedding, "everyone on the floor for a special request from the groom to the bride...." (Winona's Big Brown Beaver starts playing)

They've been together for about 10 yrs., so their brand of tacky works for them.

[borlis]

117. "You're All I Got Tonight" by The Cars n/t

[u4ic]

119. I'm Not in Love - 10cc

[lynne]

120. "Mama Told Me Not To Come"

- an oldie by Three Dog Night. My bad . . . :spank:

[hippywife]

123. Beast of Burden - Rolling Stones n/t

[SKKY]

124. And for the honeymoon night!

"Too drunk to fuck" by the Dead Kennedys

[Deep13]

125. Highway to Hell nt

[NMDemDist2]

126. "Love the One You're With" by CSN

If you're down and confused
And you don't remember who
You're talking to
Concentration slips away
Cos your baby is so far away

Chorus
And there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one
You love honey
Love the one you're with

Don't be angry don't be sad
Don't sit crying over good
Times you had
There's a girl, right next to you
And she's just waiting for something
To do

Chorus

Turn your heartache right into joy
She's a girl and you're a boy
So get it together make it nice
And you won't need any more advice

Chorus

[yurbud]

127. "Diary" by Bread. the punchline is the guy's wife loved someone else not him