Lounge Friends... I come to vent AND to ask for good vibes

[LibraLiz1973]

(Read this for background http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6665948&mesg_id=6665948 )


SO I finally got her out last Sunday. She left ALOT of stuff in the house- I guess it's up to me to get it out. ARGH.
But that's not what's upsetting me. What is upsetting me is that there was a HUGE wad of gum in my brand new sink.
I got it out and then went to run the brand new garbage disposal... and there was the sound of death. So I stuck my hand down
there and found ANOTHER huge wad of gum, a twist tie and some rolled up tape. I scraped the skin off part of my hand getting that all out.
And the garbage disposal is shot.

I put some video clips up on you tube.. my mom took clips in the house and it is horrifying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhkprGSDPbk


She somehow broke my months old refrigerator a month ago- and didn't bother to tell me. She also didn't bother to take the food out of it so
naturally everything mildewed and molded... it smelled like death in there.

She had a yard sale 2 weeks ago and left what didn't sell (Which was alot) on my lawn for a week- and it RAINED 2 of those days.
She was expressly told by me multiple times NOT TO SMOKE IN MY HOUSE. Well, as soon as my grandfather died she must have lit up
because his room REEKS of cigarettes now and he wasn't a smoker and it didn't smell when he died.
Her bedroom carpet is unreal- there are MOUSE DROPPINGS behind her dresser. WTF?
I need hugs and assurance that I can get through this!

[SammyWinstonJack]

1. Wow! That carpet is 7 months old? Wow!

:hug:

[LibraLiz1973]

3. Thank you BSN!

I've had the same color carpet seen in the video in my own home for FOUR YEARS and there are NO STAINS on it.
If I drop something, I get on my knees and clean it up.
She apparantly throws things willy nilly with no regard for anyones property.
And she is an equal oppurtunity offender- her personal stuff is just as digusting.. more so in fact.

[SammyWinstonJack]

6. So sorry. Well now you can clean it up and won't have to worry, if that is any consolation.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear LibraLiz....

I am horrified at what this piece of trash did to you....

Can you hire someone to fix what needs fixing, and haul away the junk?

So you don't have to deal with it?

You will get through this......but right now you need all the support and love we can give you....

Incoming love and good vibes, sweetie....

It will get better!



:hug: :loveya: :hug: :loveya: :hug:

[LibraLiz1973]

5. Thank you sweet Peggy!!

Yes, I can (and have) hired someone to come in and fix it.
What is incredibly frustrating is that all of the things I mentioned were brand new- I had
already completed work on the entire first floor. Now I need to go around and fix what she destroyed.

I have the carpet people coming on Tuesday to clean it. I am PRAYING that will go well and that the fix is as easy as that.
But if the stains don't come out... I'll have to put new carpet in. Again.

Sears has been jerking me around on fixing the fridge (they never show up for appointments and when they
do they dont have the right equipment) but hopefully that will be done soon!


And I will have 1800gotjunk come and take all the JUNK.

The other thing that is so annoying is that she never sees her part in this. I tell her there was gum in the sink and she acts like
it's my fault and treats me like I'm a big b*tch. You give and give and give to this girl and it is NEVER enough!


Thank you for the hugs!

:yourock:

[AlCzervik]

4. i think after initailly being really angry i think some hurt would kick in.

you extended her kindness and a place to live and it looks like she made no attempt at all to clean up after herself. Maybe she has the mentality of people who sometimes rent cars and "Drive it like it's stolen". Anyhow good luck with the clean up and don't let it get you down, you did a good thing.

[LibraLiz1973]

7. Thank you CRS!

Your right, she has that mentality about EVERYTHING... even her own stuff.

And what happened today is that the hurt did kick in. Who leaves a house like that?!?!?!?!?!

[Madrone]

8. Well thank GOD ....

The bitch and her brood are gone and your years of frustration will soon come to an end!! :hug: I know you were trying to make the house nice for your grandpa but damn ... I wish you wouldn't have put in all of that effort for *nothing*.

You WILL get through this ... if for no other reason than you can finally put this shit to rest once and for all and get on with your life, without her in it. :hug:

[LibraLiz1973]

9. Thank you Madrone

Sometimes I just need to vent!!

I'm relieved that she finally left- but still agog at what she left behind!

[skygazer]

10. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family

I've never understood how people could do that to a perfect stranger, let alone a family member. I guess the only way to look at it is to be relieved they're gone and go from there. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this - strength and patience to you. :hug:

[LibraLiz1973]

12. Thank you Skygazer

Your exactly right- you can't choose your family.
It really sucks sometimes!!

Thank you!!!

[YDogg]

11. Holy cow.

I'm so sorry. Nobody deserves to receive this sort of treatment. She sounds like the ultimate user.

[LibraLiz1973]

13. Thank You YDogg

No one does deserve this treatment. I love her, but, I struggle with the toxic way she has treated things her entire life.
I guess I had it put into my brain early that she needed to be taken care of (even tho I am 33 and she is 41, I have ALWAYS taken care of her. I used to
have to stay at my grandparents house when they went on vacation because she couldn't be trusted)
She was adopted and she struggled early on with acute asthma. Her whole life was handed to her because she was sickly at the beginning.

Her behavior has been pretty rough for her entire life. She does horrible things to get her own way.
When I was about 19 I rebelled and spent years wanting no part of it. But once she had kids, someone needed to step in because
my grandparents were freaking out. And her ex husband (and now boyfriend) is one of the biggest losers on earth.


The only people that will still speak to her are my mother and I. Her other brother and sister want no part of it, so they are unwilling to help her (or me) deal with it.
They laugh at what she did and make fun of me saying "What did you expect, she is trash". I can't see what else I could have done with a clear conscience.
My grandfather loved her and wanted her in the house. Yes, he lost his entire savings to her but he still loved her. If I had thrown her out, he would have died. Literally.
And she is still my aunt.

When stuff like this isn't happening we get along fine. It's a weird situation. You have to take everything she says with a SHAKER of salt because she lies.
But.... she is my family. It's tough.

[Midlodemocrat]

14. I have a friend who had a rental that was left in similiar condition

She had to replace the carpet, linoleum, repaint, etc., And, the smoke smell was incredible. I don't think they ever weren't smoking.

It was a lot of work, but she then sold the house and made a profit. Hang in there. :hug:

[LibraLiz1973]

16. Thank You Midlo

I am hanging in there- barely at times, but I'm still here!!


Today was better than yesterday.

[Wapsie B]

15. Wow!

Believe it or not I know how you feel. My ex kept house just like that. Sometimes I felt the only way to clean house was with a can of gas and a match. I hope you can get this mess taken care of somehow.

[LibraLiz1973]

17. Thanks BWA

There certainly are days when I thin total demo might be the only solution!!