On the topic of marriage, how young is too young

[militaryspouse]

What age makes you shake your head at the hearing a couple is marrying?

Example, say a mutual friend reveals another mutual friend is getting married in 6months. Does your mouth drop if said person is only 19? It does seem like the past 10yrs or so ppl are marrying later, so nowadays 19,20,21 does seem a bit young.

[no name no slogan]

1. 30

I got married the day after my 27th birthday. I got divorced nine years later. In my case, it was too young. But YMMV.

[rbnyc]

30. I also say 30...

...though I was 35.

[Inchworm]

2. Marriage is an institution

I pretty much cringe when I hear anyone is getting married. I may be a bit bitter though.

If there was an "option" to renew every 5 years, it would make better sense. :)

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

33. I'm all for that!

:thumbsup:

:hi:

[Inchworm]

40. It just makes better sense

Who came up with these rules anyhow? Can we appeal? :D

:hi:

Oh and good afternooner BNL! :loveya:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. anything below 25.

[Ptah]

10. I was going to say twenty-five as well.

25

[Guava Jelly]

4. 120 years or below is too young

:D

[deadparrot]

5. As someone who had three high school friends engaged

before they were legally able to drink, I say you can't wait long enough. For myself, it will be at least mid-to-late twenties, probably later.

[Tikki]

6. I was 18, Mr. Tikki 19....

It has been a loving and long lasting partnership.

When I was volunteer assistant coach for a middle school girl's
basketball team one of the teachers asked me not to talk to the
girls about my teenage marriage...she said, "Successful or not,
I don't want the girls to think of marriage in terms of that age.

I totally agreed with her.



The Tikkis

[LostinVA]

9. Well, in 1963, my 18 year old mother married my 19 year old father

They're still in a happy, loving marriage.

I think it's up to the individual person. I don't have the right to tell anyone over the age of 18 whether or not they're old enough to get married.

[Myrina]

7. 35

Anything younger .... ya' just don't know life. <shakes head>

[Nikia]

8. Looking in the local paper and online paper online

There seem to be a number of young people getting married nowadays. I think that the war in Iraq is sometimes a factor. I have noticed that in the engagement annoucements. The announcement often mentions something about one or both of them in the military.
My husband and I were both 22 when we married, engaged at 21. Sometimes I think that was too young, but as we were in a serious relationship, it made sense for us to marry. Personally I think that when people enter into serious monagamous relationships for a period of time, that it makes sense that they (who believe in marraige anyway) would want to marry after a couple of years. In that case, more casual relationships might be better for young people who think that they should wait until 25 or 30 for marriage.

[laylah]

11. Well, considering I

was almost 34 when I tied the knot officially, I would have to say anytime before 34 :evilgrin: Of course, as things have developed, I would say anytime before 55, or even 80...but that is just my own bias and disappointment talking.

[elshiva]

It depends on the maturity of the 18 or 19 year old.

I think 18 or 19 should be the youngest that one should get married BUT ONLY IF BOTH PEOPLE HAVE GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL and have job.

[JVS]

12. Below 18 is odd. Below 16 is scandalous

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. I think it's more of "how mature the couple is"

Of course, age factors into that...

You can point to people who were young and have had a very successful marriage...

And conversely, you can point to folks who were older when they married, and didn't make a go of it...

So, yes, age is a factor....but IMHO, maturity is a bigger factor...

My two cents...

:shrug:

[WinkyDink]

14. 3? Just guessin' here.

[jmm]

15. My grandma was 16 when she married my grandfather

She was 4'10" when they married and soon grew another 3 inches. Of course times were different then and they stayed together for over 50 years until he died but I still say if you're still young enough to be having growth spurts you're too young.

I hate thinking of being too young in terms of arbitrary numbers but if you haven't had to be a responsible adult and take care of yourself then you're not ready. I know people who have lived at home and never had to worry about cooking or bills until they married in their 30's. They may have been old enough but they certainly weren't mature.

[dajoki]

16. I got married...

at 23, my wife was 20. We are now married for 29 years. Our two daughters are 28 and 26 and still single. It does seem that people tend to wait longer to get married nowadays.

[Left Is Write]

17. My daughter is 20. I think *she* is too young to get married.

I might not think so of some other 20-year-old.

[skygazer]

18. Depends on the people as well as the culture

I hate generalities. They're generally meaningless. ;) What applies for one person doesn't for another.

[Gormy Cuss]

29. It depends a lot on your family culture too.

People who don't expect to go to college are more likely to feel ready to take the plunge right out of high school because they think they're grown up enough. Few are, but many do manage to muddle through.

[regnaD kciN]

19. My ex and I both agree: 25!

(We got married when I was 21 and she was 19. Bad idea.)

[SeattleGirl]

20. Depends on the couple, I think.

Some couples are mature enough at a relatively young age; most are not (talking late teens, early 20's).

But I also know people in my age range (50's) who STILL ought not to get married.

[NewWaveChick1981]

21. I was 29 when I got married, and that was still too young.

:shrug: I think it all depends on the people involved. As long as they are both of legal age, it's up to them.

[pokerfan]

22. 14

maybe 250,000 years ago.

Today, anything under 25 is insane because we haven't fully entered adulthood, with some exceptions. Some have adulthood thrust upon then at an an early age, but most really don't.

[TommyO]

23. Friends of mine married when they were 21

They're still going strong today!

[Mutley]

24. It's different for everyone.

I had two friends get married right after high school ten years ago. They are still happily married with two kids. Yet, I work with this girl who is 19 and engaged. That makes me shake my head. Not so much because of her age but because of her maturity level. She's a very cute girl, and gets a lot of attention from guys. Attention she really enjoys. She's cheated on this fiance of hers several times. She most definitely is not ready to get married.

[Left Is Write]

31. Hi there!

:hi:

[Mutley]

41. Hey LIW!

How've you been?

:hi:

[Left Is Write]

42. I'm good. How are you?

[Mutley]

55. Doing okay.

I have to work tonight, and I don't wanna. :P

[Esra Star]

25. Breeding partner 25

Life partner 45.
And no, I haven't got an answer to the technical question.
We all just need to evolve a bit more.

[RebelOne]

26. I was married at 16 and that was definitely too young.

My husband and I eloped to Georgia. Our marriage ended 9 years and 2 kids later.

[Burma Jones]

27. I'm also going with 25

and it was about 35 in my case.......

[Lydia Leftcoast]

28. I'd say that anyone who has never lived on their own is too young

When a couple goes straight from their respective parents' houses to dealing with rent, cooking, budgeting, and housework for the first time, that's a lot of stress to put on a relationships.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

32. Well, I suppose it depends on the people.

I personally am not interested in getting married until I am at least 25, preferably 30. My mom was married for the first time at 32. You have to know about yourself, I think, before you get married and expect someone else to know about you. There's no way in hell I'll know about myself enough in the next ten years, and I'll always be figuring out who the fuck this person is in my body. And I agree with the other people who have said that it's rather numb to go right from college/parents' house to a married household. You should be able to handle yourself in terms of finance and taking care of a house/renting and taking care of yourself in general before leaping in with another person.

There's no hurry for me. Hurry for love, maybe, but not marriage. In this day and age marriage is not really a requirement to be a decent person, anyway, or even to have a love.

[Joe Fields]

34. When my brother was 19 he married a fifteen year old.

[bicentennial_baby]

35. How'd that turn out?

:o

[Joe Fields]

36. Hard to say. They had two beautiful children, both kids growing up

to be successful and surprisingly well adjusted, but my brother ended up getting a divorce, because my SIL said she missed out on her childhood. But the two remain good friends, and are both totally involved with their children.

[bicentennial_baby]

37. Well, it could have turned out much worse, no?

I'm glad that they are still good friends :)

[Joe Fields]

38. Yes. My SIL is a good person who got married too young, realized it,

corrected her mistake, and in the process made a better person out of my redneck brother to boot. The two have grown up and have taken good care of the kids.

[grace0418]

39. I think for most people, anything younger than 26 or 27 is too young. Of course there

are exceptions to that. I was 27, and in some ways I wish I had waited a year or two.

[Mr. Blonde]

43. I say 20 or below is too young

You should be able to drink at your own reception.

But I believe your chances of getting divorced drop by about 30% if you get married at 25 or later. Before that I believe it is an 80% chance.

[bumblebee1]

44. I remember having this conversation with a guy I served in the Navy with.

I told him that I thought 18 was way too young. I also told him I thought 21 was too young, but I wasn't as opposed to that age. He then asked me why I felt that even though I thought 21 was too yound, I didn't feel that adamant against it. I then explained that at 18, you're just coming out of high school. You don't know yourself that nor have you had much life experience. You don't have that much more life experience at 21, but at least you had a chance to get to know yourself.

[Whoa_Nelly]

45. It all depends...

My son married at 21, and after seven years, he has a very strong and committed marriage, as well as two beautiful children.

He's mature, self-determined, owns his own business, and is doing very well.

So, as to age, it all depends on the person and what the envision and how determined they are to make that vision a reality.

It can be done, and it can be done well.

[Alexander]

46. My friends got married at 22. I wonder if it was too soon.

They had not yet known each other even a year, and the proposal happened maybe 4 or 5 months into the relationship.

Nearly everyone I knew, except the best man, predicted they'd be divorced by the time they are 30.

[ProfessorGAC]

54. We Were 23

We've been married 27 years. So, don't know about that.
GAC

[Mythsaje]

47. I tend to think 30 is just about right n/t

[last_texas_dem]

48. It's hard to say

I'd probably think "that's kind of young to get married" if I hear about kids in their teens, and maybe even twenty years old, getting married. But I don't think there's a magic age that's just automatically "too young", in terms of ages that are considered legal ages to marry. I've no doubt that there are kids who married at fifteen who stayed together basically happy for the rest of their lives, while there are adults who waited until their forties whose marriages failed. I might assume that those who marry in their mid-teens are more likely to end up divorcing but I've no evidence to back up that assumption. So I guess I don't think there is an age (among legal marriage ages) that I flat-out consider too young because I think the age will guarantee that the marriage will fail, but I will definitely pause for a second at hearing certain ages at which people marry, as I figure most people would.

(Sorry if this post is slightly incoherent; I should probably have already gone to bed!)

[leftofthedial]

49. 55

and not a day younger

[Seashell Eyes]

50. It depends if the couple has gone to college or not

If they go to college, I'd say 25 is a nice age. If they skip college, then 20 is not too young. Relationship experience is another factor. I think that people who've had a few relationships at a young age are more prepared, and will know if the person they want to marry is the right one.

[Deep13]

51. 12

I'm pretty sure that 13 is not okay either, but I know for sure 12 is too young. Definitely. I don't know at what age it changes from "too young" to "well maybe, but I still have my doubts."

[av8rdave]

52. First marriage, I was 23, she was 19...definitely too young!

[dropkickpa]

53. Below 25

EVERYONE I know in my age group who got marrieds before 25 have gotten divorced. Everyone, that's some scary shit. Even the 23 year-old girl I work with who did the whole Bridezilla big money wedding. Her marriage lasted all of 14 months.

For me, anything under 80. Seriously, the idea of getting married elicits only dread and fear in me. I have NO desire to be legally bound to anyone I didn't give birth to.

[LibDemAlways]

56. I was married at 20. That was 34 years ago. My

parents told me I was too young, but I didn't listen. Wish I had. They were right.

[bleedingheart]

57. It is about the maturity level and I think experience level

you can be 50 and be too immature and selfish to be married.

As for experience, you need to know that the person you are marrying is the one for you not because they are the first...but because you appreciate the good characteristics they have.

Having dated a bunch of jerks...and a few really nice guys...when I married at the age of 25 I was fortunate to know that I was marrying a real "keeper".

[taught_me_patience]

58. If i took a vow of chastity

19 would be too old! Otherwise 25 and below is too young. Not enough chance to sow the wild oats! I'm 29 and expect to be settling down soon.

[Dastard Stepchild]

59. I'm more likely to be concerned about length of relationship...

Than actual age. At any age, I tend to shudder when people move quickly from meeting to marriage. Although, if a person under age 25 was to inform me of an impending marriage, I would support their decision but inwardly hope that they'd been able to enjoy life and experience diverse life situations to the best of their abilities.