As of this post, I promise to be more polite

[elshiva]

and to be more grateful. Thank you for letting me be in the Lounge.

[Midlodemocrat]

1. "letting you be in the lounge" ???

Sweetie, you are just as welcome here as anybody else. :hug:

[elshiva]

2. Thank you for that sentiment.

:hug: You are wonderful, bright person.

However, since I am fat, ugly, lazy, and stupid, I do NOT deserve the kindness of anybody.
Now I can't sit in a chair, I have sit on the ground behind all the chairs at the meetings.
Thank God, though, that they still allow me to go to the meetings.

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Well, from what I've seen, you are none of those things.

You're informed, caring, devoted, bright, committed and kind. Anyone who says differently is a jerk and you can tell them I said so.

They might want to think twice before taking me on.

:hug:

[elshiva]

4. Thank you!

:hug: THEY CALL ME THE FAT GIRL!

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Who does?

And here's a good reply to that. You say "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet"

Saw it on a bumper sticker years ago. :rofl:

[elshiva]

6. Thank you for responding.

Well, I am fat and ugly and not dieting, so I guess that makes me a complete loser.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. Darlin' you need to stop thinking about yourself that way.

We all have physical flaws, every single one of us. It's not what defines us. What defines us is how we treat other people.

If you are in a situation where someone is calling you names, get out of that situation and find one where you are treated with the respect and dignity you deserve.

I have lupus and my lupus mask is getting worse and worse. I gave up putting makeup over it several years ago because my real friends, the people I want to be with don't care how I look.

Surround yourself with people who appreciate who you are, not what you look like. :hug:

[elshiva]

9. Sorry about your lupus. My sister-in-law has lupus.

You have to wear a mask? I don't know that much about lupus. My sister-in-law doesn't wear a mask yet.
Sorry about that.

Thank you for your sentiment. Being fat and ugly is the way I choose to identify myself because it is how my classmates viewed me in High School.

:hug:

[skygazer]

11. And what makes your high school classmates so all-powerful?

Why is it their view you choose to define yourself by? Who the hell are they? I don't know about you but my high school classmates were a bunch of teenage idiots and I can't imagine using their definition of anything as a yardstick.

I can't tell you how to have a better opinion of yourself but I hope you can learn to look beyond the opinions of people who have absolutely no importance in the larger scheme of things. Like high school classmates. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

12. LOL. No, the mask is from skin discoloration.

It doesn't bother me at all. The lupus doesn't define who I am, it's just part of me.

Fat and ugly in High School. Darlin' that's about 95% of the world. Haven't you ever seen those Maury type shows where the bombshell comes back on to exact revenge on the ones who were picking on her?

And, in my experience, the bold and the beautiful in High School peaked about midway through their Senior year and haven't gone any farther.

Don't let anyone else set your agenda. Don't ever let anyone define who you are.

[elshiva]

14. Thank you for having so much thoughtful words on this subject.

I choose to be fat and ugly because I do not want to conform what people think is beautiful.

[Midlodemocrat]

15. But some people are fat or ugly without 'choosing' it

and don't let that define them. You're articulate. That is a huge asset in today's world.

[elshiva]

18. I would not call anyone fat or ugly who did

NOT want to be called that because there are a lot of beautiful people out there who don't realize that they are beautiful.

Thank you for the compliment about being articulate. Thank you for supporting gay rights! YAY!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. you are not impolite but you do post scary things that sound like suicide/abuse

and then you don't respond to people with any solid answers.

a lot of us are caring people who worry about you. or worry that you are duping us with these threads.

[elshiva]

10. Sorry about those threads. I am NOT duping you.

After those threads, I have got serious help and now have a therapist who I am talking with about the problems. It is difficult when people make fun of me and abuse me for things that I know are true like that I am fat, ugly, and lazy.

[NC_Nurse]

13. Hi, I don't know you, but I can tell you

that calling yourself fat, ugly and lazy is not going to help you. There is probably a grain of truth to all of those terms - so what?
We all have shortcomings, how about focusing on your assets?

You are literate for one. That's a real asset. Sounds like there are plenty of people around you who are willing to put you down. Stop joining them!
:hi:

[elshiva]

16. Thank you for posting so kindly on my thread.

You are thoughtful to talk about focusing on the positives.

Yes, thank you for reminding me that I am literate. Sometimes I think books and the internet are a fat girl's friend because they never make fun of you.

:hi:

[NC_Nurse]

20. Books and the internet are great!

I consider "fat" a negative term. How about "overweight"?

Even if you are morbidly obese, putting yourself down will not help motivate you to make any positive changes.

[elshiva]

21. Thank you for another insightful response.

I prefer "fat" because "overweight" begs the question, "Over what weight?"

What do mean by positive changes? D-I-E-T? DIET? DIET? DIET? DIET OR DIE?

[NC_Nurse]

22. Diet is a dirty word, IMO.

Changing to healthy eating habits and increasing or beginning exercise are positive changes. I'm working on them myself.

To me the term overweight is more fact-based, as in over you ideal weight or healthy weight. It is more like a medical term, devoid of judgement
or bias.

I've met anorexics who weigh 88lbs. who think of themselves as "fat". It's too subjective and pejorative a term.

[elshiva]

23. "Diet is a dirty word." AMEN

God bless you for answering my post. But (please excuse the language it has nothing to do with you personally) FUCK EXERCISE!

I understand where you are coming from there about anorexics. I knew someone like that in hospital.
Fat can be pejorative in certain usages. It's a complicated word. Just like the use of the word "Jew."
It's find to say "I'm a Jew," but it is pejorative to use it as a verb, as in "to jew someone," which is anti-Jewish bullshit.

[NC_Nurse]

25. Believe me, I am not one of those annoying exercise lovers.

I have bad knees and a bad back. I'm trying to move around more, but nothing CRAZY.:D

[elshiva]

26. Yeah, I had surgery on my toe and it still hurts.

So, I am a little unhappy about people talking about exercise. Sorry about your knees and back. Thanks again.

[billyskank]

17. Bollocks to that.

As of this post, I promise to be more profane. :D

[elshiva]

19. Thank you, billyskank for posting on this thread.

You are a hilarious human being. Your comment is funny, as per usual. Just be careful how you are profane. It's ok on DU, though... :)

[no name no slogan]

24. It's about fucking time, you wanker

I for one welcome our new, more profane billyskank :hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

27. Elshiva...

I personally do not get offended at all by your posts, but what I do get is frightened that you may be posting in the lounge in lieu of getting some help that you may need at a particular time.

As long as you are getting what you need, and as long as you are not offensive (which you are not), you should not be afraid in here to express what you are feeling.

None of us posters own this place, and you should feel free to express yourself.

In my opinion, you are an articulate person, and it is nice that you are here.

Please take care of yourself.

[elshiva]

28. Thank you, dear philboy.

Your posts are hilarious and now you show your kind, compassionate side as well.

Thank you.

I am in therapy now about depression and anxiety. I am taking my meds. But, I am really depressed because my mom is sick and in the hospital.