On understanding men

[trof]

(inspired by a thread in GD)

If you'll just keep these simple guidelines in mind, you'll be well on your way to understanding men in no time.

1. Men like to be warm and dry in winter and cool and dry in summer.
They do not like to be involved in activities that upset their seasonal temperature requirements nor get them wet.
Unless there's a beach or whitewater rapids involved.

2. Men do not like to sweat, at least not 'in nature'.
Saunas and steambaths are exceptions because sweat is not brought about due to physical labor.
And men would rather sweat in groups while comfortably seated.

3. Men like full tummies.
Many times quantity counts for much more than quality.
Most men will choose a half-pound triple burger with quadruple cheese over a silver dollar sized filet mignon.
Especially if they don't have to get out of the car to have the burger.

4. Men like comfortable clothing.
Usually stretchable cotton knit and elastic are major components of their preferred 'everyday' wear.

In summary, men are relatively uncomplicated creatures whose everyday needs are simple.
Nuance is wasted on them and they don't have a clue about 'moods'.
Men don't have 'moods' so they just can't comprehend them.

When dealing with a man, direct, straightforward language works best.
"How about cutting the grass?"
Not "Gee, the grass sure is getting tall."
He will probably agree that it is and go back to the ball game.
Sometimes even more explicit language is necessary to get your point across.
"How about cutting the grass THIS MORNING?"

I hope this has been helpful.

[Deja Q]

1. Hmmm

1. True

2. True, though I hate saunas and a lack of exertion will get a man fat and the man would then sweat by doing nothing. That's not good either.

3. Often true.

4. Meh.

Who's done all the observing? They're not very astute, there aren't any horny sexual references included at all. :wow: But then, that would induce sweating...

[trof]

7. How DARE you accuse me of unastuteness?

I am just as astute as the next guy.
Maybe even more so.
I have my MA (Master of Astuteness) from a highly recognized online institution of higher learning.
REAL high.

I have been a recognized authority on astuteness and a consultant on astuteness to MAJOR corporations for many years.

Har-Umph.

And horny sexual references are an altogether separate field of research.
I thought everybody knew that.

[pitohui]

2. explain hunting season then, not to mention fishing

i dunno, trof, i don't see it around here...altho i do agree it is always better to give a man a direct order, "cut the damn grass this morning, honey" always seems to get a better result than "is the grass getting a little high you think?"

but the rest of the guidelines just don't seem quite on target? it almost seems to apply to a sub category of say male couch potatoes over 60, esp. the wardrobe guidelines!

[trof]

3. Are we being series?

Go somewhere else.
This is not a series thread.
It is whimsical.
And lighthearted.
Possibly even tongue-in-cheek.
I could even be kidding.
:-)

[styersc]

4. One editorial suggestion.

Men, or this man atleast, tend to avoid the use of the word "tummie", unless speaking to a very small child.

[JVS]

5. gut or crap-factory please!

[trof]

8. I have a tummie.

It's right there for all to see.
And has been for quite some time.
How can I deny it?

[billyskank]

6. I have moods.

[trof]

9. How do you know? Do you have a mood ring?

'Cause that's the only way I know of you can tell for sure.
And I, for one, just will not wear one.
I think they're communist.
It's part of the whole mind control thing.
:tinfoilhat:

[billyskank]

10. Nobody is controlling my mind.

I use MindGuard. http://zapatopi.net/mindguard/

[trof]

11. Lyle Zapato is a GOD!

yep

[StarryNite]

12. Men definitely have moods.

Just watch it change when his "tummy" gets empty or his favorite team looses. Not to mention when somebody cuts him off in traffic.

[trof]

13. 'Mood' spelled backwards is 'Doom'.

Need I say more?

[LeftyMom]

14. Agreed on the being as direct as possible thing.

It should be added that this is also true when trying to get a guy's amorous attention. Anything shy of pinning a guy down and removing key articles of clothing with one's teeth will generally be misinterpreted.

[trof]

15. We ain't so good on sub-tul.

;-)
And your method of "pinning a guy down and removing key articles of clothing with one's teeth" sounds really interesting.

Really, REALLY interesting.
:-)

[LeftyMom]

16. Generating "interest" is precisely the idea.

:D