Why Do Boyfriends Leave Jessica Simpson?

[Yavin4]

Because there's only so many times that anyone can say, "Sure, honey, I'd love to hear your sister's new CD", and make it believable.

Zaaaaa-Zing!!!

[VLC]

1. That could hold true

for her sister's boyfriends too, no?

[jmowreader]

2. Ah, give her a break. Ashlee's okay.

Her new CD isn't music for the ages, but it's not unbearable.

[Deja Q]

3. Doesn't she write her own songs too?

That and she's fairly hot as brunette... and not 1/10th as annoying her dumb sister. Despite having the nose job...

[SoCalDemGrrl]

4. I'm certain it has something to do with controlling Papa Joe

[OffWithTheirHeads]

5. I think this may answer your question

[ThomCat]

10. Not to get too serious in the lounge

But that's a really offensive poster.

I'm sure some people here will disagree, but it basically says that women have value only for their looks, and everything else (personality, interestes, job, life, etc.) is shit that some guy has to put up with. Good way of dehumanizing women.

[regnaD kciN]

13. Oh, grow up...!

One could easily create the same poster with a photo of a sexy guy and a two-word change in the text. The principle (which, in case you need it spelled out for you, is that a partner's looks are not the basis of a good relationship) would remain the same.

[ThomCat]

14. But the poster wasn't created with a guy.

And that's because the point expressed in that poster is much more typical of how guys think/talk about women.

[regnaD kciN]

15. I'm sure there's something similar out there...

...and, personally, I doubt your competence to declare that it is "much more typical."

[ThomCat]

16. Wow. What climbed up your ass and died.

I'm at least as competent as you are. Probably more so.

[MrSlayer]

17. Bingo.

It's not all about looks.

[DS1]

6. I don't know, but I'm willing to embed myself as a reporter

[petronius]

7. Go undercover, so to speak?

[Omphaloskepsis]

8. Wearing a cover might be a good idea.

[DS1]

9. Yeah

something like that. But not for long. Stupid people just end up pissing me off.


wait, I think I just found the answer

[petronius]

11. You should probably do the research, anyway

It would be wise to confirm your answer with a thorough probe...

[LostInAnomie]

12. Lousy head

Isn't that what you call it when people have a lot of lice in their hair? Oh, I guess that would be "lousey"... Is that even a word? Oh, well...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

18. Because she's a spoiled brat?

I don't know how Nick stayed with her as long as he did. I'm also surprised he didn't break up with her long before she ended it because her daddy told her too.
Duckie

[distantearlywarning]

19. Let's look at this logically:

Pros of dating Jessica Simpson: She's hot, at least when she's not wearing 80 lbs of makeup and no bra.

Cons of dating Jessica Simpson: she's spoiled, dumb as a box of rocks, spends all your money on $75 panties and $1000 sheets, whines, comes with a yappy little dog, is self-centered and image obsessed, you'll have to spend time with her fundie relatives from Texas, and she can't figure out how to complete the most basic life tasks like making dinner or balancing a checkbook.

I'm surprised Nick stayed as long as he did. But I don't feel sorry for him. He got what he paid for, so to speak. People who marry based solely on looks deserve to end up with a spouse who is good-looking and not much else.

[buddhamama]

20. because when they ask for a tuna sandwich

she gives them Chicken of the Sea.

[billyskank]

21. I cannot decipher what you just said at all.

:D

[Deja Q]

23. So Nick was dating another woman at the same time as Jessica and wanted a threesome,

but got sunk instead?

:shrug:

[MilesColtrane]

22. Because she has the intelligence of a soap dish.