about love ---

[wildhorses]

how many people do you know that have gone their whole adult life without falling in love?

should we say that for the sake of this conversation that 'adults' are age 21 and older.

[Wapsie B]

1. I'm assuming you're talking about mutual love,

where both people love each other. I don't know anyone who's not fallen in love.

[wildhorses]

5. no, not mutual love.

i am talking about one person not falling in love with anybody.

[Wapsie B]

9. Well I've fallen in love with others

who didn't feel the same for me. Or maybe some of those were just infatuation. Still the answer to your question is no one. I know of no one who's not fallen in love, even if it's a one-way romance.

[wildhorses]

14. ok, thanks.

better to love and lost :shrug:

[Wapsie B]

19. yes it certainly is.

if you feel something for someone you've gotta take that chance. that's all you can do.

:hug:

[LaraMN]

2. A few of my friends haven't.

Several, maybe...

[wildhorses]

6. about how old are they?

in their 20's -- 30's?

[LaraMN]

10. Right around thirty.

:-)

[wildhorses]

15. do they ever discuss it?

just wondering if they have thoughts about it...is it a conscious decision...or do they 'hope' it will happen?

[LaraMN]

18. Not much, but one in particular has the "grass is greener"

kind of thing going with me.
She's finished her education, traveled all over, and likes to tell me how lucky I am, and how perfect my life is. Yeahhh... it's "perfect"...

She'd be miserable in my shoes. Totally miserable.
She has to work on her own (other) issues before she'll find someone worthy of her love.
I hope she does.

[wildhorses]

20. i think that is my problem --

i think i have 'issues' -- wonder if they are the same as hers.

[LaraMN]

23. Maybe. The thing about love, though,

is that even if you find it, and it's real, it often changes, or fades entirely. It's a slippery thing. Worthwhile, I think, but never easy...

:hug:

[wildhorses]

27. yeah, love is watery...

hard to hold in the palm of your hand.

:hug:

[LaraMN]

29. You deserve someone very special, who "gets" you.

I'm glad you haven't sold out for less. You're a good egg.

:hug:

[wildhorses]

30. thing is --

how can they get me if i can't even get myself?

:hug:

[LaraMN]

31. Sometimes other people get you better than you can,

yourself. My best friend is like that, for me. She provides some good perspective. I try to do the same for her. You have to be able to connect.

[wildhorses]

35. yeah...

its a connection thing...but, see how you connect with your best friend and you didn't say husband? i guess i want it all in the same package. is that too much to ask?

[LaraMN]

37. I haven't got that, so I'm no source of inspiration, there...

and no, I don't think it's too much to ask. Not at all. I think it's a very good thing to hold out for. It would likely serve your relationship well, in the long term.

[wildhorses]

39. thanks, lara

for your honesty.

[LaraMN]

41. You're welcome.

I just want to see my friends happy.

:hug:

[some guy]

3. Well, that can be a tricky question

I know at least two, by your criteria. I have an aunt and uncle who have been married to each other since they were in their teens, so they weren't adults when they fell in love, and they presumably haven't fallen in love with anyone else since then.

On the other hand, I've never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months, so maybe I've only deluded myself that I was "in love" at those times.

:shrug:

[wildhorses]

7. about how old are you?

just trying to get a grip on this, thanks.

[some guy]

11. 49

[wildhorses]

16. what about before you were 21?

anything semi long term as a teen?

[some guy]

22. Nope

A couple crushes, but those are different. It's a feeling that if one never acts on it, never gets exposure to life, and so, like an unopened can of food neither spoils nor nourishes.

On my more cynical days, I think I've only ever lusted. Once the new wears off, the affair loses all it's appeal for me.

By this point in life, I've lost pretty much all interest in the question. I'm much too settled into my life as a bachelor, and not really willing to open it enough, or rearrange it enough to accommodate the presence of any one else. I can do a date here or there, but mostly, I like that my days are mine, and I don't have to negotiate how to spend them.

On my blue days, I remember Twain wrote, "Misery can take care of itself, but it requires someone to share it with to get the full measure of a joy."

[wildhorses]

26. that sort of blows the whole misery loves company thing out of

the water...

but, i do agree about the joy.

i think i am getting set in my ways, too.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear wildhorses...

I don't know any adult (that I can think of, anyhow) who hasn't fallen in love at some time or other...

But it's easy to confuse lust with love, when you're on the outside ....

Interesting question....Why are you asking it?

:shrug:

:hug:

[wildhorses]

8. i am beginning to think

that i will never fall in love...

just wondering if i was all alone out here.

that is all.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. Ah, sweetie.....

You're wrong about that....

You have been in love, and you will again....

And no, you're not along out here.....

We're all with you, sweetie......

:loveya: :hug: :loveya:

[wildhorses]

21. awww... thanks

:hug:

[janx]

13. You will.

It's rough. Good luck!

[wildhorses]

17. yeah, its rough

thanks.

[hfojvt]

24. Vida Dutton Scudder from "On Journey"

"Until I was thirty, I wanted terribly to fall in love. I didn't care so much about being loved; almost any woman can manage that if she cares to try, But I was eager for the experience without which, all literature assured me, life missed its consummation. Once or twice I tried to compass it, but I couldn't." p. 212

"And I confess that married life looks to me often as I watch it terribly impoverished, for women." p. 213

But what are you implying?

Is it the end of the world? :cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l-GpISGBFY

[wildhorses]

36. that is cool how you go from vida dutton scudder to skeeter

in one post :wow:

:hug:

[The Straight Story]

25. Love

It is not something one can grasp or control, it is something that just sneaks up on you when you least expect it and changes your life.

I was 33 when I found true love. The day I saw AutumnMist. The day we first held hands is still our real anniversary. It was that day we knew that we were meant to spend our lives together.

I thought I knew what love was before that - and in some ways I did because I had kids, and there is no love deeper than that.

But that day, my head was spinning, as was hers. Me, the goofy computer geek - her the beautiful red head that all the guys at work wanted to go out with.

9 years later I still love her more than anything else, as she does me. It took me years to find the right person, that one true love. I had been in love before, but I had never truly 'been in love' if that makes any sense :)

It came out of the blue. We still talk about that electric shock we felt that day. And with all my logic I cannot explain it.

I -thought- I had felt it before. But I had no idea until that day.

[wildhorses]

32. autumnmist!!

i did not know!! that is who you have talking about...is it parkinson's...sorry, i get confused

:hug:

[The Straight Story]

33. Yes

To both.

Speaking of love, here is the video that most makes me think of her :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu8kyjtdbWM

I listen to it daily...I dunno, it just...makes me feel ok.

[wildhorses]

42. that is beautiful, thanks

the song and the video:loveya:

[hfojvt]

28. I think you have to do it, not expect to fall into it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ5CtEqUqcU

[wildhorses]

38. that is so sweet

:loveya:

do you like my facial hair?

:rofl:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

34. Just myself.

:shrug:

[wildhorses]

40. you have never known love for someone?

never?

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

43. Long story, but there is a specific reason.

I was set up to be a drunk almost from childhood, and I took the bait and ran with it. From the age of 18 to my late 20s I was getting falling down drunk three and four times a week.

Amazingly (also another long story I won't go into here) I was able to put the bottle down and walk away from it, but to do so I had to build a thick mental wall around my passions.

I did so successfully- so successfully I have never quite been able to tear the wall back down. Some deep emotions escape me to this day because of it.

Not to say I don't have friends and can't interact normally- no problems there. I simply can't quite reach deep enough into myself to pull love out into the light.

One day I may succeed. I'm only 52- young enough I can still give it a go if I can find it.

[wildhorses]

44. we moved around so much during those formative years

when people are learning how to trust and build long-lasting bonds that i think i missed the lecture that day:shrug: