A cooking show for cats

[KurtNYC]

I like cats but they do eat some pretty gross stuff. I am wondering what a cooking show by cats for cats would be like...

FADE IN
Rachel Tabby works at the prep table. We see those puppet paws that they use in cat food commercials gesturing wildly while she explains. The soundtrack is various meows and cat noises while subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.

RT: Today I'm going to show you how to make some RSC, really stinky chow, in 30 minutes or less using freshly semi-rotted ingredients.

PAN OF TABLE: various beautiful ingredients fresh vegetables, strawberries, grapes, noodles, etc. Then RT's paw pushes all of these aside and grabs the garbage bowl instead.

RT: First let's raid the garbage bowl... hmmm plenty of good stuff in here. Humans eat all the parts with no odor and put the good stuff in here...

CU paw pulls items from garbage bowl.

RT: raw chicken liver and gizzards -- Dee-lish! and the head from a brook trout -- awesome!

Puppet paw arranges these on cutting board.

RT: I will chop these together... (chopping) and plate them (paw pushes them into bowl).. now we just need the perfect garnish...

WIDE SHOT - Rachel Tabby listens for a few seconds to a noise we can't hear and then darts under the kitchen sink.
SFX: pans crashing, cat attack noises

RT emerges from under the sink, smiling widely with a bug in her mouth.

RT: The perfect fresh garnish, GGWB, giant gross water bug.

Paw place bug on top of chicken and fresh head mixture.

RT samples her work.

RT: Yum-oh! See you really can make RSC in under 30 minutes! See you next time.

FADE OUT

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

1. Whew! I thought you were going to cook a cat!

I wonder ... do they taste like chicken?

:rofl:

:hi:

[DS1]

2. I woke up to a massive pile of cat vomit near my bed this morning

inside was some piece of mangled furry critter.

That got me vomiting all sorts of bright yellow/green stuff while I was cleaning it up.

It was not a good start to the morning

[mikeytherat]

5. Sounds like you need one of these:

mikey_the_rat

[DS1]

6. hahahah

love that there's a spanish version :D

[davsand]

3. Let's eat thru three layers of plastic and a few pounds of coffee grounds to get to the garbage!

Yuuuum-EEEE!

They refuse to eat the cat food you put in their bowl but they will chew thru plastic and old coffee grounds to get to whatever it is they want out of the garbage. Go figure.




Laura

[LynneSin]

4. Don't forget to get the fresh water from the toilet

If given a choice between the freshest, purest chilled water or toilet water, I know my cats would take toilet water everytime