(WOMEN ONLY) The guy sitting all by himself at the bar is most likely.....?

[Bicoastal]

This is a question that always haunts me--and probably most single men--on the occasions when your friends are unavailable for the evening, is there anything wrong with heading to the bar all by yourself?

[taterguy]

1. There's nothing wrong with going to a bar alone

However, if your goal is to meet someone new your odds greatly increase if you're with someone. It's like an instant reference check: The guy has at least one friend so he's not a total psycho.

There's always hope though. I met some really great folks on evenings when I was at a bar by myself.

[Boojatta]

9. "The guy has at least one friend so he's not a total psycho."

Didn't Jim Jones have about 913 friends?

[Left Is Write]

24. I did too.

And I married one of them. :)

[Bicoastal]

2. Late night bump

bump

[Deja Q]

7. I think that's the goal for some of the guys who go to bars alone, late at night...

:hide:

[skygazer]

3. I'm a woman who goes to bars by herself

Sometimes I feel like stopping for a beer and I'm not with someone and don't feel like tracking someone down. If people think I must be psycho or a loser, I don't want to meet 'em anyway. That's a wacked out way of viewing people.

[Courtesy Flush]

4. I've been alone in hotel bars

When I've traveled on business and feel like having a scotch at the end of the day (maybe two). I'm married, and don't even flirt. I was just there for a drink. That's allowed, right?

(I know, you said women only, but I didn't vote in the poll, so I'm okay).

[Gormy Cuss]

14. Nah, they think that either you're trolling for a date

or you're crazier than a shithouse rat.

:P

[skygazer]

15. Well, they'd have a point there

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

5. Okay, everybody, be sure to vote for choice #2 like I had!

:party:

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

6. bar alone = so what?

I mean it doesn't mean anything in and of itself. Without more information the question is just speculation.

I didn't vote 'cause I'm a guy, but the correct answer is the one that is in the lead.

:hi:

[lost-in-nj]

8. I voted for the last one

only because I sit at a bar alone
to eat.


lost

[anarch]

10. I used to go to bars by myself, just for the drinks

Never thought anything about it. Now that I do think about it, and see that it could be construed as odd, I guess from now on I'll just get a bottle of whiskey and sit at home and drink it by myself. That seems healthier, right?

[Omphaloskepsis]

11. I go by myself all of the time...

I bring a good book, have some French fries and drink a few beers. I don't see the problem. I will even go up to a table with people already sitting and ask I they mind if I take a seat. 95% of the time the welcome me and we start to have a chat.

[AllegroRondo]

12. i think it depends on what bar

there are bars that are clearly places to meet and pick up dates,
and there are bars where people go to meet friends or just get a drink. Where I grew up in Wisconsin, we had tons of neighborhood bars, where people would just walk in and meet other locals, talk about the local gossip, shoot pool, etc. Coming in alone was common.

[Inchworm]

13. *sits alone at the end of bar sipping a draft*

I reach into my pocket nervously for a cigarette and realize I quit. Popping a piece of mint flavored nicotine gum in my mouth I look at you...

you look back..

I look back..

I sip my beer..

:beer:

[Inchworm]

32. *wakes up and wipes the drool from face*

Whats a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?

:D

[supernova]

16. I'm curious about this

because I've often wished there was a more typical "pub" around here that I could just go and socialize, have a drink by myself and not feel, immediately, like it was a meat market.

I do have lunch by myself lots of times but the bar thing.... I still find it somewhat intimidating to walk into a bar alone... and wish I didn't. :blush: :blush:

[Boojatta]

17. This is why few butcher shops have customer seating and

licenses to serve alcoholic beverages. Everybody knows that they're meat markets.

[supernova]

18. Again, the type of place

I think comes into play.

If you go to "sports" bars or bars that are built up around housing develpments to make them seem like better established communities, rather than manufactureed ones. Or ones that the "hot" or "it" bar of the month attracting all the yuppies, yeah, those I classify as meat markets. I definitely don't do those places by myself.

I prefer places that are calmer. Edit: I still find them somewhat intimidating, but I'm more likely to swallow my loner anxieties up at a place like that.

[Boojatta]

19. Business idea: small pub located inside a public library.

Does such a thing exist? If it doesn't exist, then yours would be the first and you would get lots of free publicity from the news media. Of course, that's assuming that your municipality would allow such a thing.

[supernova]

21. lol!

I don't need it inside a Library! :D Interesting idea, though. :-)

I think what I'm getting at is I find European places a lot more, I don't know, open to whatever package you happen to come in. If that makes sense. I went to several neighborhood places in Germany and Austria, and I never felt bad about being there alone, bad that I didn't know anyone there. It's easier somehow to strike up a conversation with a stranger or group of strangers and share a table for instance. And while they flirted with me, the men didn't immidiately press me.

That seems harder here for me. I don't know why, exactly. It feels more ... intrusive rather than welcomed.

edit; If I found a place like that around here, I might be there several nights a week.

[LeftNYC]

20. Ive gone to bars and concerts alone...no shame

sometimes people are busy and you still want to go...

[Blue-Jay]

22. Most likely, he's a guy who stopped at the bar on his way home

to have a drink. He doesn't want to talk to you. He doesn't want to talk to anyone about sports. He doesn't want you or anyone else to even look at him. He just wants a quick drink, and feels better about drinking alone in a bar as opposed to drinking alone at home. Don't bother him.

[pitohui]

29. blue-jay you are a poster after my own heart

i'm not a "he" but yeah most of the time if i'm in the bar alone for a drink that's the reason, i just want to relax, not get into a big social brouhaha

[PVnRT]

30. Damn straight

That applies for me at work, at the grocery store...really, anywhere. Just go the fuck away.

[Alexander]

23. The real crazies I've met never even GO to a bar.

They'd rather sit at home and sulk about how their life sucks rather than go out and try to enjoy themselves.

[DS1]

25. DS1

[Withywindle]

26. What about the woman sitting alone?

So many guys seem to take that a license to get REALLY obnoxious. A bit of flirtation is fine, but really, I'm not looking. That's not why I'm there. (Most of the bars I hang out at have live music - that's why I'm there!) I usually bring a book (and a booklight!) for the wait between bands.

Do some people think I'm a weird loner? Probably. I guess I am a weird loner, because I think let 'em!

[OzarkDem]

27. Been a long time

since I went into a bar by myself. I almost didn't know how to answer. :smile:

Last time I did that I had arrived in DC on a late flight and could only find food in the bar. The guy next to me was a Navy officer who started flirting with me. I wanted to tell him I was 20 years older, married w/ kids and had just had a double mastectomy the previous year and thus didn't even have a rack anymore, ie not a good candidate, definitely 3rd or 4th tier. He must have had a few too many. It was flattering, however.

[pitohui]

28. well i'm a woman and i don't see the issue

when i'm on the road by myself i might stop in and have a glass of wine, and it certainly doesn't mean i'm anti-social (altho i suppose technically i am) or an alcoholic

it means i want a glass of wine and to make notes of my thrilling observations after a day of walking about

as long as the mr. single guy doesn't push himself on me i don't see anything wrong with a single guy having a drink at the bar w.out all his friends there to provide adult supervision

i think the perception is that guys can't tolerate being alone v. well and you have to avoid meeting the guy's eyes or he will come up and start TALKING to you or something

but if you are really after the frosty drink at the end of the day, go for it

also if you really want to chat, be willing to sit at the bar and chat with OTHER GUYS, don't be a pick-up artist and expect women to think you are not a pick-up artist

[MissMillie]

31. I not only go to bars alone

but to restaurants too (but usually I bring a book to the restaurant).