I need some help!

[janx]

If you cared about a person for a number of years, and that person was in a relationship that you sensed was not balanced or fair, would you go for it?

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. If you defined your verb and your pronoun, we could help

[janx]

2. I have to be vague, I guess.

Which verb? Which pronoun?

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. "go" and "it". Your question has almost no relevance to the set up.

[janx]

5. That's purposeful, sorry.

What I mean is, I've never really expressed an interest in any guy that has been involved in another relationship. Some women don't have a problem with this, and a couple of these women are close to me, but I can't talk to them about it.

I'm not even sure if this guy is still involved...but I don't know.

So the brief answer to your question, after I've digressed because this is difficult--the brief answer to your question is--OK, should I be brave enough to let him know?

This is pathetic. I'm almost 50 years old!

[mzteris]

4. doesn't matter what you "sense"

it's what they make of the relationship.

Be a friend. Period.

If the other relationship doesn't work out - you're already ahead of the game.

If you "break it up" - you'll just be the one responsible and that's not good for anyone - including you.

[KitchenWitch]

6. The person of interest needs to figure that out by his/herself.

Only then can he/she be free to pursue another relationship IMHO.

[Swede]

7. Patience may be your best bet.

Be there for that person now. IF it ends,then by all means,make your move.

[janx]

10. That's what I have been doing. Two years.

And that's what I have tried to examine, and thank you. Patience wears thin sometimes. I'll know more in six weeks or so.

[u4ic]

8. No

1. What looks to be on the outside could be viewed very differently by the participants.

2. If this person is in a truly obvious 'unbalanced and unfair' relationship, why are they staying? Sounds like they have some issues to sort out. Rebound relationships don't stand much of chance, anyway.

[some guy]

16. Hi you

:hi:

I was just chatting with your friend* in a different thread.

How's the new album coming along? The cover art is terrific.

* I thought we were pals,but he hates me. :D

[u4ic]

27. Dentures, diapers and distemper will do that to him

He can be a cranky one sometimes. ;)

That's why you've got the easy task of being my groupie, and he has the much more formidable one.


Which he hasn't even come close to fulfilling, yet. :eyes:

[Deja Q]

9. Leave it be. Never EVER interfere in someone else's relationship.

That's up for the couple to deal with.

[janx]

15. I wouldn't dream of doing that...

I just wonder if my correspondence with this person, my friendship, is "against the rules."

[In_The_Wind]

11. You should continue being a friend.

Don't try to break-up their bad relationship.

[janx]

13. I would never do that.

I'm very shy, ultimately.

Edited to add: I will continue being a friend, and thanks. I guess that's what I wanted to know.

[janx]

12. Oh man, I never should have posted this!

It wasn't well presented because I couldn't provide any details. Time to dive down under the farm now. :blush:

[Swede]

14. Don't worry about it.

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual,so we all muck about.

[janx]

19. I sure as heck do.

Thank you. :hi:

[some guy]

17. I wouldn't.

I like to start relationships withe people who aren't in relationships. It's just easier.

:hug:

[janx]

18. Thank you!

I'm not sure of the relationship status at this point--mixed signals, miles apart, and shyness in spades. Thank you so much for the hug though! I needed it.

[some guy]

20. You're welcome

If unsure of the current relationship status, you could broach it obliquely, by asking, "How is <female>? What did y'all do on the weekend?"

I'm not sure about the miles apart thing. Is it the guy and the potential-relationship that are miles apart?
Is it you and the guy who are miles apart?

If it's the guy and the potential-relationship who are miles apart, asking what they did on the weekend obviously won't work. :silly:
If it's you and the guy who are miles apart, probably that isn't a good way to start a relationship anyway.

:hug: - because they're always free, and often useful. :)

[janx]

22. Thank you! n/t

[RiffRandell]

21. If you sensed they were into you. n/t

[janx]

23. Yeah, I did.

Edit: And do.

[RiffRandell]

24. Go for it.

Seriously.

Pm me if you want, but I am A HUGE advocate of going for it.

CP

[janx]

25. Thanks!

PM coming your way.

[Rowdyboy]

26. At age 53 the things I most regret are chances not taken....Life is too short

If your heart says yes, go for it!

[janx]

28. You're right!

YOU ARE RIGHT! Bless you man.