My mom is crazy.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

I just got this phone call from my mom.
Me: Hello?
Mom:Well, I guess you're not coming home this weekend?
Me: No.
Mom: Well, I had the porch light on for you and everything.
Me: I talked to you this afternoon, and I didn't say I was coming home.
Mom: Well, I just assumed you were coming when you didn't say anything.
Me: You shouldn't assume those things. We spent way too much time together over the break and I need a break.
Mom: Well thanks. Sorry I called.
And she then hung up on me. And I can't call her back, because I can't call anywhere long distance. I hate it when she does that. There was no rude tone in my voice. I was just being honest.

I hate it that every time I'm honest with her she gets pissed off. I hate going to her house, especially when I'm sick, because she's one of those rude smokers who doesn't care if you can't breathe already, by God, she's going to have her a smoke. I could be wheezing from Asthma and Emphazema, and she'd still be smoking in the same room as me. And I'm so sick of all my stuff REAKING. I just NOW got everything to quit stinking. I wish I had the great relationship my mom thinks we have. She drives me insane. She doesn't listen to me, she hears what she wants to hear, and sometimes I think she has some kind of alzheimers thing because she's always asking me the same question 500 times. When oh when will it ever end!? Am I a horrible person, or is she just nuts?
Duckie

[Dookus]

1. You're not horrible

and she's not nuts.

she's just acting like a mother, which is often confused for insanity.

[La_Serpiente]

2. It's called

family :-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Moms love the guilt trip thing. I get guilty of it myself sometimes.

Here is a true story. I am 33 mind you. We went and visited some friends a couple of years ago (my husband who takes very good care of me and me) It got kind of late, we were tired so we stayed over. The very next morning when we got home my mother had left 6 messages all saying the same thing,"where are you? I drove by and you're not home, I'm a little worried." She yelled at me when I called for not calling to "let her know". Here was my question,"If I lived 2,000 miles away like my brothers would you have known I was gone?" She didn't speak to me for over a week. Mom's are just like that. She'll get over it.

Hugs,Laura

[asjr]

4. First of all

she is being a mom. I don't care how old you are or become she will always be your mom. My children are all in their 30s and one is 44. I still worry about them. Have you asked her not to smoke when you are there? Tell her you are concerned about her health. And as far as asking a question 500 times it could be a sign of dementia. How old is she?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. She's 56.

And yes, I've asked her to quit so many times. She won't. She's also an alcoholic, and I can't stand that either...She's a weepy drunk and she brings up everyone who's died in the last ten years and wants me to bawl and squawl with her like my sister would, and I refuse to do that with her. So she thinks I'm a terrible person because I'm not still constantly grieving about everything after four and eight years. (Dad died in 96, Sis in 2000).
Duckie

[madmax]

6. Maybe you should try Al-Anon

Can't hurt. Does she know she has a drinking problem. Silly question, the drunk is the last one to know.

[madmax]

7. Here ya go RubberDuckie

:hug:

Sorry I called you RibberDuckie

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Thanks. I needed that.

[gate of the sun]

9. Everytime I tell the truth to my Mother

she acts like I've committed the biggest crime against her. It makes it really difficult..it is though a manipulative tactic keep that in mind. I often wonder if my mom is crazy...I think she is in a way but then she is a repulican.

[alwynsw]

10. I'm almost your mom's age

and my mom still pulls the same thing with me. It never ends.

[madmax]

12. Same here

I'm 54 and my Mom is 92. She had a stroke 4 years ago and I've taken care of until this past March when I realized I was killing myself trying to be her daughter and her care-giver 24/7. She lays guilt on me everyday. I visit often, bring food, do her laundry and I'm the worst daughter in the world because she's now in a nursing home.

Do I feel guilty. Not really, I've helped her since I was 13 I'm 54. There isn't much sand left in my hour glass either and I'd like to live a little before I check out.

[madmax]

11. IDEA!!

:think: Does your Mom have a hobby? Besides driving you crazy. What are her interests? My son complains I don't visit him and his family enough. I paint furniture, bride's boxes, and gift things. I sell some, but paint mostly for myself. That would keep her so busy and broke she won't have the time or money to bother you ;-)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. Yeah, she's not that kind of person.

She's been lost to find someone to wait on hand and foot after dad died. She used to cross stitch, but I don't know what happened to that.
Duckie

[madmax]

15. Before my Mom got sick she did the same to me

Always with the 'you're all I have...' She needs to get out do something. Volunteer work was something. I tried to get my Mom involved but she want me to do it with her. :eyes:

It's hard, I know. Just do what can and don't feel guilty.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

14. The definition of a dysfunctional family is

any family that has more than one person in it! Suck it up Duckie, yo mamma loves you. She is just fucked up like everyone else.

[madmax]

16. LOL

Words of Wisdom there tmfun. Fifteen years ago my best friend said, 'Oh grow up! You think everyone's lives are a Norman Rockwell painting - it's bullshit.' Helped me. :crazy:

[DODI]

17. You are not alone

And yes, your mom loves you. Moms just can be a little strange in the way they convey it. I think many of us go thru the same stuff to greater or lesser degrees.

[Eroshan]

18. Don't feel guilty

its hard to deal with alcoholics, very hard. You must not be an enabler so curb your guilt it will just feed her ability to ignore reality. Keep loving her and support her when it becomes necessary.