The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poem Thread, 7/30/07 (warning: graphic language)

[BlueIris]

(Warning: the following poem contains graphic language. I'm sure that most of our posters are smart enough to figure out that the author of this poem had her speaker reference the racist terms that have been used against her in order to decry racism, and to figure out that this poem condemns racist attitudes, but I still wanted to put some kind of a disclaimer on this one for those who are, as I am, sensitive to racial epithets in any context.)

"I Used to Think"

I used to think
I can’t be a poet
because a poem is everything you can be
in one moment
speaking with lightening protest
unveiling a fiery intellect
or letting words drift feather-soft
into the ears of strangers
who will suddenly understand
my beautiful and tortured soul.

But I’ve spent my life as a black girl,
a nappy-headed, no-haired,
fat lipped
big-bottomed Black girl
and the poem will surely come out wrong
like me.
And I don’t want everyone looking at me.
If I could be a cream coloured lovely
with gypsy curls,
someone’s pecan dream and sweet sensation,
I’d be poetry in motion
without saying a word
and wouldn’t have to make sense if I did.
If I were beautiful, I could be angry and cute
instead of an evil, pouting mammy bitch
a nigger woman, passed over,
conquested and passed over,
a nigger woman
to do it in the bushes.
My mother tells me
I used to run home crying
that I wanted to be light like my sisters
She shook her head and told me
there was nothing wrong with my colour.
She didn’t tell me I was pretty
(so my head wouldn’t swell up)
Black girls can’t afford to have
illusions of grandeur
not ass-kicking, too-loud-laughing
mean and loose black girls.
And even though in Afrika
I was mistaken for someone’s fine
sister or cousin, or neighbour down the way
even though I swore
never again to walk with my head down
ashamed
never to care
that those people who celebrate
the popular brand of beauty
don’t see me
it still matters.
Looking for a job, it matters.
Standing next to my lover
when someone light gets that
‘she ain’t nothing come home with me’
it matters.
But it’s not so bad now
I can laugh about it,
trade stories and write poems
about all those put downs
rage and hiding,
I’m through waiting for
minds to change
The ‘60s didn’t put me on a throne
and as many
years as I’ve been
Black like ebony
Black like the night
I have seen in the mirror
and the eyes of my sisters
that pretty is the
woman in darkness
who flowers with loving.

—Chirlane McCray

[wildhorses]

1. i thank you for this, especially tonight ---

speaking with lightening protest
unveiling a fiery intellect

i think you can read my mind

:hug:

[BlueIris]

2. It's possible that I can read your mind.

Are you thinking about...cupcakes? No? Just me that's thinking that?

Well, I can't be right 100% of the time.

[wildhorses]

3. ~

;)

:rofl:

i am thinking about a shower...so i can watch my show later.

[BlueIris]

4. Kick.

[BlueIris]

5. Kick.

[RetroLounge]

6. Thank you for this...

:hug:

RL

[BlueIris]

7. Sure thing.

I will make the Loungers care about poetry, dammit.

[BlueIris]

8. And I haven't forgotten your request--I just haven't been able

to decide on a Lounge-worthy poem by that author yet.

[ismnotwasm]

9. Beautiful

Reminds me of "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" for some reason. I reread that book every couple of years.

[BlueIris]

10. Thanks!

It's been one of my favorite poems since I was 17.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. My dear BlueIris!

Testify, sister!

This one really nails it......

Especially these lines:

...I have seen in the mirror
and the eyes of my sisters
that pretty is the
woman in darkness
who flowers with loving.

And this is true for all women...whether they're in the darkness or not...

We all flower with loving!

Damn right...

Thank you...:hug:

[BlueIris]

12. Thanks, C-Peg!

[idgiehkt]

13. thanks

the poetry that I am most fond of is written by black, native american, and hispanic women.

here is an interview with my favorite poet, Chrystos...she says some pretty controversial stuff in here
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3693/is_200309/ai_n9281944/pg_1

[BlueIris]

14. You will love many of the poems I post, I think. Especially tomorrow's.

[ThomCat]

15. "Looking for a job, it matters.

Standing next to my lover
when someone light gets that
‘she ain’t nothing come home with me’
it matters."

Yes, it matters. Especially when people insist that it doesn't matter, it matters. x(