Fucking rules at my fucking job

[graywarrior]

Rule 1:
Keep a library atmosphere at all times

Rule 2:
Make sure to return early to your pods after breaks and lunch

Rule 3:
No clocking out before 4pm

Rule 4:
No food on the carpeted area. (I have been reprimanded for holding a bag of pretzels out in the hallway.)

Rule 5:
We piece out the rules info so that you will break them which enables us to send out new memo's regarding the rule you just broke.

Discuss.
I will be back later. I need to go buy crumby food for work.

[Parche]

1. Rule 6

No DU on Company time!! :shrug: :hi:

[billyskank]

2. Return early to your pods

Do you have to attach tubes and stuff too so they can extract the life force out of you?

[idgiehkt]

3. I like "discuss" the best

Makes ya sound like Holden Caulfield. :hi:

good to see you, i've been missing you.

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. Pods...?

Pods?!?!

:grr:

[graywarrior]

7. Yeah, fucking pods. Do you believe that?

12 to a pod and most of them 60 and over. Three weeks left and I'm out of there. Pointless job and the stupidest job I have ever had.

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Where the fuck do you work?

:wtf:

[graywarrior]

12. This will crack you up....I am sworn to secrecy about who I work for.

All I can say is we monitor tv.

[WilliamPitt]

15. .gov or .edu?

[graywarrior]

18. Neither.

Marketing Co.

[Critters2]

27. Does it start with an N

and end with "eilsen"? Or start with an A and end in "rbitron"?

[graywarrior]

29. If I say yes, I will have to kill everyone here and then kill myself.

[Critters2]

31. Comprendo.

;-)

[graywarrior]

33. This company made us sign an agreement.

And they keep reminding us that we signed it.

[Critters2]

35. I'm pretty sure they can't make you kill yourself and others

Well, otoh, this is Bushco's America.

[Crabby Appleton]

5. return early to your pods???

you're a pod person? - I knew it!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_the_Body_Snatchers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pod_People_%28Invasion_of_the_body_snatchers%29

[mainegreen]

6. Rule 7: Bikini Thongs are innapropriate attire for casual Friday.

[realisticphish]

8. I don't see the problem with #1

but, then, I work at a library :)

[Call Me Wesley]

9. You haven't returned to your pod yet.

Remember: Only in pods humans can be efficient!

[graywarrior]

11. That is creepy.

[Call Me Wesley]

16. I'm in my Bod Pod

with my iPod! And I don't care for nothing. ;)

[wildhorses]

17. creepy cool...

i am snagging it!!

good to see you :bounce:

on edit...sounds like the rules at the hospital where i used to work.

rule #6. we make up the rules as we go along and target the rules to get rid of people who are NOT in the clique.

rule #7. if you are NOT sucking a co-worker or boss THEN you are NOT in the clique. please be aware THAT you are being watched.

rule #8. we practice nepotism. deal with it. unqualified family members DO take precedent.

[graywarrior]

24. I used to work at Mass General, better know as Mass Genital

We broke all their rules. They were on freak mode for a few years til they finally merged with Brigham & Women's and got real anal.

[wildhorses]

25. are all hospitals this way? i thought a bigger hospital was the

solution. i was wrong. just bigger suckers :eyes:

[graywarrior]

26. MGH is like a city.

Big hospitals are scary.

[wildhorses]

32. the last i worked had 6,000 employees. cured me. from working

in another one, that's for sure ;)

:rofl:

[graywarrior]

34. Fuck. That's like working on another planet.

[redqueen]

13. There's no rule against booze?

:bounce:

[Critters2]

28. No booze in the carpeted area, nt

[WilliamPitt]

14. PODS????

Flee.

[graywarrior]

19. Today they made an announcement that due to the rain, the parking lot will be slippery

So be careful going to your cars. I asked for a hall pass to go to the girls lavatory. They weren't amused.

[EstimatedProphet]

20. Pods? Do you work for dolphins or something?

Someone actually decided to call your workspace "pods" for some reason. Talk about being out of touch!

[graywarrior]

22. You should see the software we use.

1970's crap. Grids and black & white screens. Boooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiggggggg.

[LanternWaste]

21. Oh, you're gonna hate me...

When I got promoted to supervisor a few years back, I spent the first month dictating dress codes, atmosphere codes, early-late time-clock punch codes, internet usage codes, memo's that had me more vilified than Darth Vader eating a burger at a vegan lunch.

As a matter of fact, I just now opened my Final Draft Memo folder and am looking at seventy-four (yes, that's right-- 74!) memo's I dictated in my first three months behind this desk.

Oh, I can easily justify that it has increased efficiency and productivity by 7%(+/-), but the real reason I do it, the honest-to-goodness reason I do it, is for no other reason than to play with the lives and minds of my co-workers. My gosh, it's entertaining and it pays well!


(But look at it this way-- the library atmosphere required here denies the two freepers (yes-- they are both actual FReepers, and post on FR) from listening to Rush Limbaugh.)


Edited for this: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[guitar man]

23. I hate rules at work

I ride my motorcycle to work and change into office appropriate clothing before I start work. We had a regional manager visit a while back and he showed up early in the morning. He found my attire upon arrival...ummm...interesting, including my back patch just like this one.



He was going to rip into my ass until he found out I changed clothes before office hours started.....:evilgrin:

[Critters2]

30. Thanks for reminding me how fortunate I am

that I have no rules at work. Well, except "sermon must be finished by 10am Sunday" and "if you don't visit people in the hospital, they'll bitch to the deacons" (as well they should).

But nothing about pods. Suddenly, things seem okay.

[petronius]

36. "Return early"? Does that mean you get to leave early as well?

Freakin' fascists...