Man, there's NOTHIN' I like better than being on eternal hold, while crappy

[SeattleGirl]

Muzak is playing! x(

[EstimatedProphet]

1. Good! I'll know who to have place my corporate complaint calls!

Thanks!

[Kutjara]

2. What I love even more...

...is when they interrupt the crappy muzak every ten seconds, so a recorded voice can tell you how much they appreciate your patience and how much your call means to them (not enough to answer, of course, but still...). You don't even get to listen to a shitty song, just fragments interspersed with insincere, patronizing drivel.

[SeattleGirl]

3. I listened to that shit for 25 minutes, and THEN, another recorded

message said, "I'm sorry. There are no customer service representatives available to take your call. You will now be transferred to voice mail."

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I hung up.

[Kutjara]

4. Oh that's priceless!

The ultimate corporate "fuck you."

[SeattleGirl]

6. Exactly. And I was calling to GIVE THEM MONEY!

Guess they have enough. :shrug:

[ghostsofgiants]

5. I once got Devo as hold music.

It was awesome.

[SeattleGirl]

7. Wow! I've never had Devo! I usually get sappy love songs or

crappy instrumental music. The selection today was some piano piece, but I swear, it was looped to play the SAME 16 BARS over and over again.

[ghostsofgiants]

8. Haha, I know what you mean.

I felt like telling the guy to put me back on hold when he picked up.

[T_i_B]

28. Best hold music I've ever had...

was "Je t'aime"!

trouble is, by the time you get through you keep cracking up at anything even vaguely resembling a double entendre.

[Skittles]

9. find something else to do

I read, surf, do dishes, etc.

[SeattleGirl]

10. Oh, I do too, but the music and recorded message popping up every

15 seconds is soooooooo annoying!

[cloudbase]

11. Try this

http://gethuman.com/us/

[SeattleGirl]

12. Kew-al!!

Thanks!

[Danger Mouse]

13. What I love is how they pop in to say..

'A representative will be with you in just a moment'...
and three hours later...
:grr:

[SeattleGirl]

14. Yeah, right after they say how IMPORTANT your call is to them!

:grr:

[Danger Mouse]

15. God Bless America...

land of the impersonal, the greedy, the autmoated, the bloated, the lazy, the selfish, the ethnocentric, the arrogant, the ignorant, the mechanized, the navel gazing...

[ChoralScholar]

16. If you've ever tried to cancel Rhapsody

You have to listen to death metal, which gets increasingly louder. After 30 minutes on hold, it was so loud... my speakerphone was on it's lowest volume, and you still couldn't inhabit the room with it going.

[SeattleGirl]

18. Aaargh! I've never had that experience.

:scared:

[Breeze54]

17. Never hold! Always hit ZERO!

;)

[SeattleGirl]

19. That's what happened when I DID hit zero.

:crazy:

[LeftyMom]

20. I was on hold today with a store that played the same commercial over and over.

I swear I heard that damned thing ten times before somebody tried to pick up the phone. It was some kind of low rent radio commercial for some brand of vitamins and herbs I've never heard of.

[SeattleGirl]

22. I think I'd rather be subjected to crappy piano music.

Yikes!

[Taverner]

21. Ooh! Ooh is it Kenny G?

[SeattleGirl]

23. He would have been preferable to that piano dreck, but no, it wasn't him.

:crazy:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. There's only one thing I like better...

That's when the crappy Muzak is playing on a fucked-up track.

[SeattleGirl]

25. Yep. The crap I was listening to was staticky. Aargh!

:banghead:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. When I was on hold with MVA last week,

their muzac, clearly composed to lull even psychopaths into a drooling stupor, was frenetically skipping the track. The effect was quite odd.

[cynatnite]

26. Oh, try Charter's technical support...

you wanna go ballistic that'll do it. I was screaming 'I HAVE VISTA!' after the eighth time of the computerized voice asking me what my OS was. It did that whole voice command thing. Took me over half an hour to get to a human voice and then it took two minutes to fix the problem.

[underpants]

29. Comcast?

Holy sweet Jesus they suck.
A third service call this weekend-at least this one I don't have to take off from work for.

We have had basically no internet since oh.... May. I have 5 operator's employee numbers written down at home. I actually call them when I try to log on just to go ahead and get the process started.

[SeattleGirl]

30. I'm back on hold AGAIN, same crappy music!

Pressed "0" but it didn't do any good. Still on hold. :banghead: :banghead:

[MissMillie]

31. "Someone left the cake out in the rain..."?

yikes!