Faux News "dont leave home without your towel"

[AllegroRondo]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,161962,00.html

"Since mass transportation is the next attack, when you travel to work have with you, a bottle of water, a small towel and a flashlight."


So Douglas Adams was RIGHT!

[LynneSin]

1. Fox is trying to frighten people from public transportation (which is energy saving)

to clog up our highways even more

:grr:

[billyskank]

11. Public transport is un-american

;)

What I want to ask the freepers, why does being "american" always mean doing that absolute dumbest thing possible?

[Critters2]

28. When you come in October, I think you'll understand. nt

[cwydro]

2. What the hell

is the towel for?

[AllegroRondo]

4. According to Douglas Adams

anyone who is 'with it' will always know where their towel is; a towel is the most "massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."

"For some reason, if a strag discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel, he will automatically assume that he's also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that might accidentally have been 'lost', on the grounds that anyone who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

[cwydro]

5. Egad

it's been ages since I read that book. I should give it a reread.

[underpants]

8. To this day I still have a "car towel" because of that book

Seriously. Everytime I am packing for a trip I stop and got get a towel and put one in each bag. Always.

[cobalt1999]

15. LOL

That's the first thing I thought of too.

[muriel_volestrangler]

7. Or - a low tech substitute for Peril-Sensitive Glasses

If you have a vague feeling of impending doom, wrap the towel around your eyes, and you won't have to watch what's going on. Ignorance Is Bliss for Fox News viewers, after all.

[seemunkee]

3. And how do they know this?

[FloridaJudy]

26. Chertoff had a "gut feeling"

Were I he, I'd lay off the burritos and other UnAmerican foodstuffs - though come to think of it the dude doesn't look like he eats at all. Maybe he just needs a nice grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of cream of tomato soup to settle his stomach.

What good a flashlight, a towel and a bottle of water are going to do if some terraist decides to hijack my local bus is beyond me. That might be helpful if I was stuck in a subway, but the way things are going in this country I'm far more likely to be trapped by a collapsing overpass that hasn't been checked since the Eisenhower Administration.

[mikeytherat]

6. "Oh, man. I have no idea what's going on right now."

mikey_the_rat

[Debi]

9. So what the hell am I supposed to do with all this duct tape and plastic covering??? n/t

[Bassic]

10. Those are for your home in a hurricane

The others are for being stuck in public transportation after an attack. See? Makes perfect sense!

[Debi]

13. Whew, thanks for the clarification! n/t

[Bassic]

20. My pleasure

:D

[Debi]

22. Do you have a recommendation on how to get duct tape out of human hair???

:blush:

[Bassic]

23. Yes I have two.

The first and fastest one requires you to take a deep breath and yank it out in one fell swoop. It's not pleasant, but it's quick.

The second is to get friggin' hammered, and to peel it out when you can't feel pain anymore. :D This option is less painful on the spot, but I can't promise anything about the next morning's hangover. :D

[MrCoffee]

12. allegro, you are one hoopy frood.

[SteppingRazor]

14. Allegro's hoopy? Please. I'm so hip, I have trouble seeing over my pelvis. n/t

[MrCoffee]

16. hell, i've already done 7 impossible things this morning...

wanna grab breakfast?

[SteppingRazor]

19. Listen, three eyes, don't you try to outweird me...

I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."

[cobalt1999]

17. So, where is deepthought42

Perfect thread for him/her and they're missing it. :)

[FloridaJudy]

18. DON'T PANIC!

Earth is "mostly harmless". But the towel can't hurt.

[MissMillie]

21. Well, now we'll know how to spot all the Freepers

you know, the ones that aren't carrying "moran" signs.

[InternalDialogue]

24. Since when did Faux viewers use mass transit?

That's just for us hippies, as I recall.

[deucemagnet]

25. Are the terrorists using the Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Trall now?

Best to carry a towel. :crazy:

[Pacifist Patriot]

27. BWa! St. Doug wins again.