My sissies LostinVa is interviewing for potential Sperm Donors

[LynneSin]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6794122&mesg_id=6794422

Please post here why your supersperm should be considered. Must provide reference and a family history that shows that your breed is free from Mental Illness, Major disorder and republicanism.

Thank you!

[kay1864]

1. "free from Mental Illness"?

You in the Lounge, you know...

:+

[Crazy Dave]

2. My mental instability comes from being dropped on my head....

...so it's not hereditary :P

[Deep13]

3. Hmmm.

Mental disease: Probably best not to discuss the specifics.

Major disorder: Probably celiac disease which is an intolerance to wheat. There is no cure and it is hereditary. Celiac + English ancestors = bad teeth.

My Mom just loves Bill O'Reilly.

Guess I flunk.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

4. Define "illness."

:evilgrin:

[Burma Jones]

5. Okey Dokey

I sire attractive kids if the Mother is NOT of Northern European ancestry.

I pass for smart.

Mental Illness in our family does not exist, we boot anyone that exhibits any.

Nobody in my Family was a Major, all those that joined the military as an Officer made at least O5.

There were some Republicans in the family, but they died.

While I have been surgically altered to shoot blanks, there's always a chance some spontaneous regeneration has occurred.

[LostinVA]

6. OMFG -- I hate you

:cry:

[LynneSin]

7. I love you too sissy

At least I'm screening for republicanism

:pals:

[LostinVA]

8. Good point

:pals:

[AllegroRondo]

9. should I just send a sample in a ziplock?

:spray:

[LostinVA]

10. Yes, to Wilmington, DE

Don't forget to include the toll.

[racaulk]

16. HA HA HA!!!

Nice! Lynne's gonna get ya for that one! :thumbsup:

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

20. I know -- she must be at lunch!

[Fire Walk With Me]

11. I suffer from mental illin' and major malfunction. I firmly believe that the world deserves more.

So choose me and let the interesting things start happening.

[The Traveler]

12. Alas I am not qualified

I come from a long line of Irish revolutionaries, pirates and bootleggers ... and, of course, Democrats. But clearly some taint entered entered the ancestral gene pool because I have a sister who stands several meters to the right of the Dark One (Dick Cheney) who believes nothing unless she heard it on Fox News.

The shame ... the shame ...

[LostinVA]

15. Hmmm... that may be a recessive gene....

[The Traveler]

17. Around here

we're just hopin' it keeps recedin' ... B-)

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. I'm guessing that people who actually HAVE...

mental illness or major disorder felt a twinge of sadness reading the OP, but then again, maybe I'm just sensitive.

[Guava Jelly]

14. They wouldn't want my mutant Sperm

Kid would come out pming his but to everyone :silly:

[flvegan]

18. Must...behave... don't...say...it...

Dammit! I'll volunteer, but it has to be in person.

Giggity giggity!

[LostinVA]

19. *gasp* I'm soooo shocked you said that!

[LeftyMom]

53. Uh, until your brother comes out of his Log Cabin

I'm pretty sure you're disqualified due to family tree issues. ;)

[Midlodemocrat]

21. "free from Mental Illness" If that is a requirement, why are you posting this in the lounge?

Shouldn't it be in GD.

[LostinVA]

22. Good God, GD would be worse!

Are the photos finished? It's too damn hot today to be outside.

[LynneSin]

24. Seriously - I didn't want my future godchildren to be psychotic

:scared:

[LostinVA]

25. I know -- they might wind up being a Giants fan

:scared:

[Midlodemocrat]

28. Yup. She took over 300!!!

Five outfit changes. I sat in the car with the air going full blast and read the paper until I was needed.

I think they will be beautiful. This friend of mine has an incredible eye. The pics on her website are amazing!

www.sharonnegronphotography.com

[LynneSin]

29. Hey stop talking about your damn pictures in my sperm thread

You have your own thread! If you want to post in here you better cough up some sperm for my sissy or go away

:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

30. 'Cough up some sperm for my sissy'? Yeah, that'll happen.

:eyes:

[LostinVA]

31. The baby would probably pop out drinking wine coolers

[LynneSin]

32. And demanding you drive a mini-van

:scared:

[LostinVA]

33. And stealing Haruka's Chardonnay

[LynneSin]

34. Plus secretly I think she has republicanism in her genes

:cry:

[LostinVA]

35. She probably does

It's just a bunch of Freepers in Midlothian.

[underpants]

23. Herbie the sperm is super determined that HE is going to get into that egg

so everyday he is working out-doing pushups and situps and swimming in place. All the other sperms are sitting back smoking cigarettes just waiting for the call.

Suddenly they all start moving around. THIS IS IT! thinks Herbie and off he goes.

He takes off. All the rest of the sperm are coughing and wheezing as he disappears in the distance.

Suddenly out of the darkness Herbie comes swimming like mad BACK towards the rest of them

*WARNING*





























and Herbie is screaming




















GO BACK! GO BACK! IT'S A BLOWJOB!!!!!

[LostinVA]

26. hahahahahhahahahhahahahaha

[LynneSin]

27. Unfortunately any sperm from my family tree (I have none - I'm a girl) would be disqualified

That chimp in the white house is a cousin of mine

:cry:

[LostinVA]

37. YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT!!! ICK!

I can't believe I'm related to him!!!

[LynneSin]

38. Thru the Walker family branch

it was on my maternal grandmother side.

Yes, we're related to him. Does Haruka know she's marring into the Bush family?

[LostinVA]

46. NO -- she just called off the wedding!!!

[LynneSin]

51. You want me to call my cousin and take care of that 'issue'

:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

39. OMG!! Skinner, look here. LynneSin shares the same genetic pool as the chimp.

That HAS to be grounds for a granite cookie.

[LynneSin]

40. He knows

This has not been some sort of secret I've hidden away from the world for years.

I've never actually met the guy and I've never been invited to any of their family reunions (not that I would go if I was).

But I have one similiar trait like their family has. I hate broccoli just as much as Poppy does

[Midlodemocrat]

41. HE KNOWS???!!!!??? And, he still lets you post here?

What's next? Finding out that DS1 is related to Mussolini? Or worse, Rove?

:cry:

I am going to really need some chardonnay tonight. That's for sure.

[LynneSin]

43. LostinVA is marrying a NYGiants fan

I have no choice with my relatives - she has a choice of who she marries

So there!

[cobalt1999]

36. Sorry, the family line is mostly Black Sheeps, Scofflaws, and Miscreants

However, we are NOT dull. :)

[Pacifist Patriot]

42. I'd volunteer my husband, but....

Our children are wild beasts and he got the big snip. Sorry!

[LostinVA]

47. That makes me kinda glad he's not coming to the nuptials

[Pacifist Patriot]

48. What? The fact that he spawned wild beasts or that he is shooting blanks?

BWA!

Hey, if you can find it. Go rent the Vicar of Dibley. Different body shape and theology, but Geraldine Granger is so me otherwise.

[LostinVA]

49. EEK!

I'll see if Netflix has it.

[Pacifist Patriot]

50. Be afraid. Be very afraid. BWAA!

[texas1928]

44. Well Jim Duggar is fertile.

And he is having to wait for his wife to be ready.

[NewJeffCT]

45. I can volunteer a sample

I seem to have a scary ability to get a woman pregnant the first time I try...

and, my one daughter is very attractive and intelligent and has been pretty healthy so far in her life.

[SarahB]

52. Of course, he'd have to agree, but...

Finnfan!

You know him- sweet, smart, cute, funny, and there's no saner man here (believe me, I know)! His son is very adorable, handsome, and a strait A student. There is no better spermies than Finnfan spermies- anywhere! I have to talk myself out of breeding with him every day!

(Not that I'm biased or anything! :D)

edit: He's a huge Giants fan also!