This makes me the ultimate geek, doesn't it?

[Solon]

This is for those who like Advanced Dungeons and Dragons...
(Note: 3rd Edition Rules)
Name: George Walker Bush
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Race: Human? <--Debatable :shrug:
Class: Politician 2th level / Conman 5th level / Priest of Baphomet 4th level

Abilities: Score Modifier
(STR) Strength 11: +0 <--About Average
(DEX) Dexterity 7: -1 <--Hell, I'm surprised he can walk straight.
(CON) Constitution 9: -1 <--I would imagine his drinking and drugs would effect that at least
(INT) Intelligence 6: -2 <--Note: According to AD&D rules a score of 9 or better to speak coherently
(WIS) Wisdom 7: -2 <--Well, WE know he has no common sense
(CHA) Charisma 1: -5 <--Ugly Fuck, isn't he

Natural Resistances/Vulnerabilities:

Truth Resistance: +3/100%

Pretzel Vulnerability: -5 eating pretzels/75% possibility of falling off couch and banging head doing 1d4 brain damage

Alcohol/Drug Vulnerability: -1 due to low CON plus another -2 due to previous abuse, DEX suffers a -5 while under influence, INT is down to 3 as well, has tendency to mumble incoherently to himself.

ITEMS:
Armor/Clothing: One politician's suit

Special ITEMS: Wristwatch of Prompting: this wristwatch is activated by voice command so that anytime someone says Dubya's name, it shocks him mildly so that he is now prompted to respond.

Earpiece of the Almighty Father: Hidden in Dubya's left ear is a small speaker, it was designed by Dubya's dad so he may order his son around, range is unlimited.

Earpiece of the CEO: Hidden in Dubya's right ear is a small speaker, it was designed by Dick Cheney so he may order his lackey around, range is unlimited.

Computerized Translator: This is a small implant in Dubya's head that is supposed to translate Dubya speak into English, however the design was not properly tested and only 1 in 5 sentences are understandable when he speaks.

Wedding Ring of Charisma +3: This ring makes Dubya appear more like a president to the people. (Note: only works when someone fails a will save of about 10, i.e. they have to be gullible as fuck) <--Helps explain the Dubya worship doesn't it?

OK I thought this was funny, if you can't tell I'm a AD&D freak.

[Tyler Durden]

1. I'd have made him Chaotic Evil...

But that's just me...I've NEVER seen him behave LAWFULLY, so Neutral sounds like a reach.

[deucemagnet]

2. Here's hoping for a +3 Bill of Impeachment.

:P