How do I know if a coworker is being friendly or flirty?

[Deja Q]

I'm going to go hide for a while. :)

[BarenakedLady]

1. You need to be a little more specific

:)

[Shine]

2. Hmmmm...tough call. Mostly that sort of thing is determined by instinct

or intuition.

I'm naturally friendly and have many times had it mistaken for flirtiness.

LOL, but on the other hand, I'm naturally flirty, too.

So go figure. :eyes:

[AllegroRondo]

3. you dont

its a tough call either way.

[mikeytherat]

4. Hand on your shoulder = friendly

Hand on your shoulder and other hand on his penis = flirty

mikey_the_rat

[WI_DEM]

15. massaging shoulders= flirty or really evading your space

[triguy46]

5. If it included a tongue, it was flirting.

[Deep13]

6. I never know myself.

It is one of the social skills that my undiagnosed-but-still-something-very-much-like-Asberger's prevents me from having.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. you must have a strange workplace. every few months it seems like coworkers are hitting on you

[Deja Q]

11. I agree.

I'm not exactly an attractive person...

[Dragonbreathp9d]

8. how do I know if ANY girl/woman is being friendly/flirty?

I'm TERRIBLE at that game

[undeterred]

36. If her nipples are pointing at you, she's being flirty

If not, she's just friendly. Be discreet when you are checking this out. I mean, at least be talking to her. :bounce: :bounce:

[Norwood]

9. you dont really

Just go with your instincts and if your interested in her, then hey go for it! Im bad at determing those signs too, for guys like us we just gotta go for it, damn the consequences!

[patricia92243]

10. People flirt all the time. There is a BIG difference between harmless flirting and a "come on,"

Unfortunately, I don't know how to tell you to determine the difference. I know (yes, it still happens to people my age) - but don't know how to tell others how to figure it all out.

[Parche]

12. Flirty

You said you had a big.........................:hi;

[unpossibles]

13. look, I told you I was sorry

sheesh!

[hunter]

14. I never know.

I used to figure everyone was irritated with me, and even if I recognized they were being friendly I'd think they were faking it, but honestly that was too much work and got me into a lot of trouble.

Now I assume everyone is friendly or flirty, and respond in kind. It really pisses off the people who really are irritated with me, or the people who are trying to use me, but good, it makes everyone else happy.

I don't make any emotional investments, however, especially since I'm married! (I made an exception to the emotional investment rule when I met my wife...)

The trick is to know your boundaries, and stick to them.

If you really want some lessons, go work in a doctor's office and watch the pharmaceutical reps who stop by to visit. They are the ultimate pros at flirty and friendly, OMG, which does explain so many things that are wrong with medicine in the U.S., especially doctors who prescribe expensive meds to people who don't have any means of consistently taking them.

[NMDemDist2]

16. deep sincere eye contact with physical touch is usually flirty

light chatting and giggles is probably just friendly, unless accompanied by the title actions as well

[SPKrazy]

17. oh...

good to know :think: :yoiks:

[supernova]

18. You got a touchy feely starer?

:D

I agree w/ AZDem.

If I like a guy I do one possibly all of these: 1)Play with my hair 2)touch him... usually on the arm. 3) Giggle or laugh

Those are guaranteed because I absolutely cannot control them!

I don't always maintain eye contact because I'm shy, and it just feels too intense, at least initially.

[SPKrazy]

19. uhm, well

yeah

plays with hair CHECK
touches on arm CHECK
giggles or laughs CHECK
deep eye contact CHECK

but I ain't goin' there I tell ya, nope... ;)

[NMDemDist2]

25. how did I forget the hair thing???

just shows how long I've been married eh??

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

26. ...

:shrug:

mebbe so? ;)

:hi:

[janx]

21. Play with your hair?

I've read about this, but I don't think that I do it. What is it?

[supernova]

22. Take a lock and twirl it around in my fingers

Totally absent-minded on my part.

[SPKrazy]

23. ...

*thud*

:hi:

[supernova]

27. ....

[janx]

30. I don't do this, for some reason.

?

[SPKrazy]

31. well then training camp is required

:shrug:

:rofl:

:D

[janx]

34. Am I abnormal or something?

:shrug:

[SPKrazy]

35. i dunno

are you?
:shrug:

;)

[SPKrazy]

32. yup

:P

twirling hair is er... interesting ;)

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

20. Assume flirtiness. If you're wrong, she'll beat the hell outta ya.

No biggie. You haven't lived until you've been slapped around by a woman. :evilgrin:

If you're RIGHT... well, let's say now's your chance. Reach down, pull your balls outside your body, and tell 'em it's time to wake up and go to work.

[JVS]

24. who cares? apply pepper spray liberally!

[Nikia]

28. I don't know either

I somehow knew that one male coworker was flirting though. Some of the key things that tipped me off were "stalking" me (I saw you... a couple times per week), comapring me to previous dates and saying stuff like "you are much nicer, prettier, or something else like that", and inviting me to do various things with him. He has finally come out and said that he likes me and finds me hot. Yes, he has met my husband. My husband knows that I have no interest in this guy. After he went around telling everyone about being attracted to me, some of the other guys told him to back off. He recently invited me to a family event though.
Other people, including the guy who was flirting with me, had to tell me that the butch lesbian where I work was flirting with me. She also told other people that she was interested in me. When I was told of this, I began to recognize the flirty behavior. A coworker who I discussed this with told her to back off. She seems to be respectful of this.
In my position at work, I try to be friendly to everyone because it makes them more cooperative and I don't like to upset people anyway. My boss has told me that I should be cold to these two people if they start acting flirty. I am not available. I am married. If I were single, it would be a bad idea to date anyway there given my position which is on the edge of managment. Even though I consider the two flirters undesireable, I wouldn't want anyone there flirting with me even if the person was an attractive young man. I wish that I could print an announcement and that they would stay away.

[janx]

33. That sounds horrible. n/t

[Elidor]

29. I don't know...why don't you go back and check the answers

From the last time you asked this question? Or the time before that?

:D

[Seashell Eyes]

37. Any unnecessary touching

I was so clueless that I didn't know for sure until he kissed me.