Funniest CostCo Complaint Ever

[onager]

This just cracks me up...

The lines are endless and the checkout is completely time-consuming. When I went to Costco three weeks ago, I stood in line for 25 minutes with a screaming toddler behind me and a very old man who was passing gas in front of me.

http://www.complaints.com/june2002/complaintoftheday.june18.18.htm

Damn! Now that's weird! That charming little anecdote just made a story about Noel Coward pop into my alleged head.

One night some friends took Coward to a new play on Broadway, somewhat against his will: the play starred an obnoxious child actress whom Coward despised, and also featured the gimmick of a live horse onstage.

Sure enough, when the horse moseyed on to the stage, as if right on cue it defecated.

Coward observed: "The producer could have solved all his problems, if he had only shoved the child's head up the horse's arse."

[begin_within]

1. Well, the lines are long, especially on weekends.

[onager]

3. Yep. I avoid the place completely on weekends.

I thought about swinging by last night (Wed.). Changed my mind when I saw the line of cars waiting to turn in.

[underpants]

2. I am not a regular customer but I was impressed at how quickly the line moved

and I am about the most impatient person (as far as waiting in lines goes) that you will ever meet.

I am infamous for my sighing and shuffling about. My wife HATES waiting in line with me-she knows that I am going to just will my frustration onto everyone around me. You should see it, it really is quite incredible.

[supernova]

4. I've learned to hit Costco midweek

mid-afternoon if possible. The sample ladies are in full force and you can get checked out immediately. No waiting at all.

Edit: and no elbow wars at the DVDs and books.

[begin_within]

5. I wanted a book at Costco the other day,

an enormous coffee-table book called "National Parks of America" (even the checkout people said, "Wow, that's a big book!" There was a middle-aged man standing there reading it, just holding the top book open. I walked up and said politely, "Excuse me, could I get one of these books from here?" He didn't say a word, he just stood there with a shocked expression on his face, as if I had just told him his entire family had been murdered or something. I slipped the book out from under the one he was reading, and walked away with it, while he just stood there silently and went back to reading it. Weird.

[supernova]

6. That's rude

I love to browse books, but I do take the book off the pile so others can get to them.

[skygazer]

7. People are very strange

Some of them seem to think they're the only person in the place. Like the ones who park their shopping cart on one side of the aisle and stand on the other side, effectively blocking the whole thing. And then they glare at you when you want to get by. :wtf:

[begin_within]

8. And they're talking on their cell phone, so that even if you asked them to move they won't hear you