What are your favorite "almost cuss" words?

[Common Sense Party]

You know, the words you say when you can't or shouldn't say what you'd really like to say, but they still sort of sound like what you'd like to say, so everyone knows what you'd really like to say, but you don't actually have to say it.

Or maybe it's what sweet Grandma used to say

Like "Judas Priest!" (?)

Or, "Son of a biscuit!"

Or, one of my favorites, "Fargin' icehole!" (Anyone remember Johnny Dangerously?)

Your turn. What are your examples of near-cussin'?

[Lisa]

1. son of a Bush!

I also like "sweet fancy Moses!"

[Common Sense Party]

4. "sweet fancy Moses!" That one sounds cute. I like it. n/t

[Kutjara]

2. Martha Farqhar.

Funkin' Barstewards.
Cupid Stunt.

[Common Sense Party]

6. Barstewards. That's good.

Also from "Johnny Dangerously" I picked up "bastages," which works similarly.

[Heidi]

3. Heilige Kuh. (nt)

[Common Sense Party]

5. How does one pronounce that?

And what cuss word (phrase) does it sound like?

[Heidi]

8. It's kind of a family joke.

When my Swiss-German nieces were little (four and six), they asked me what swear words we use in the US. Not wanting to teach them any real swear words, I told them Holy cow/Heilige Kuh.

High-lee-geh koo. (But don't trust me; my German and Swiss-German accents are hideous.) :hi:

[Common Sense Party]

21. I was wondering if that was "holy."

I still remember from waaaaaay back in 5th grade when we learned to sing "Schtelege nacht, heilege nacht" (???probably nowhere near the correct spelling) for the Christmas Program at school. (Silent Night, Holy Night)

[RushIsRot]

7. Skrabnatz and Brakafratz come to mind....

[VenusRising]

9. Mother of Pearl.

My best friend uses this around her 5 year old daughter.

It made me laugh the first time I heard it.

[billyskank]

10. Fargen bastages!

A Fargen Bastage is actually a guitar amp. :D

[Common Sense Party]

23. Is it really?

[Mad_Dem_X]

39. LOL!

Learn something new every day!

[My Good Babushka]

11. Balls!

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. Motherpussbucket!

Courtesy of Bill Murray in Ghostbusters...:rofl:

I love "Fargin' Icehole!", "You corksuckers!", and "Fargin' Bastiches!" from Johnny Dangerously too! :spray: :rofl: That Moronie...he slays me! :rofl:

Oh, and these from my mother, who is the Queen of Almost-Cusswords: "Shitbitcritfit!" :rofl: She made that one up when I was about 11....my brother really pissed her off... :rofl: Also, the phrase "Crap Shit Incorporated"....used to refer to the state of my brother's room when he trashed it after she'd just cleaned it up...:rofl:

[billyskank]

14. Do you ever get so angry that you are unable to form your expletives properly?

My brother once exclaimed, "Jesus H. bloody hell!!!"

[NewWaveChick1981]

15. Well, I've used "Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ!" before...

:P But I borrowed that from the Blues Brothers...:rofl:

Yes, actually, I have. :) The one I remember best was, "Bastard fucker!" :rofl: I used that mixed expletive on an idiot driver that almost caused an accident....

[Common Sense Party]

24. I loved Ghostbusters. I still let "Motherpusbucket" slip now and then.

Your Mom sounds like a hoot.

[PeaceNikki]

13. Crimeney!

or "Cripes"!

or "Schmitt (Schmidt?)!"

and yes, HUGE Johnny Dangerously fan, "miserable cork-sucker!" Here's a great Roman Moroni quote applicable towards the current administration: "You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves."

[July]

16. I actually convinced my sons, when they were small,

that "wrackin', frackin' varmint" (thank you, Yosemite Sam) was the worst thing you could call someone. It worked till they were around six or seven.

[meow2u3]

17. S.O.L.

Also, freakin'

nyit (my grandpa's word, which is my favorite)

[fizzgig]

18. fark

fantastic utility without the obscenity

[Rhythm]

64. i use that one too...

especially funny when you use it around a fellow FARKer, too...

[Maestro]

19. Cheney yourself!

I do that around some of my conservative voting friends at work and they just don't get it.

[Rue]

20. Fothermucker. (nt)

[Left Is Write]

22. Dadgummit.

[Common Sense Party]

25. I use "dagnabbit" sometimes. Both are useful. nt

[I Have A Dream]

26. Jeez-o-pete.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeez-o-pete

[siouxsiecreamcheese]

27. "cheese and rice" and "consarnit"

:hi:

[Common Sense Party]

30. That bloke from "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz"

was on Conan O'Brien's show the other week.

He was talking about the "sanitized" version of "Hot Fuzz" that they released to be shown on airplanes. They had to record fill-in almost cuss words to go in place of the R-rated language. They consciously tried to make the substitutions as ridiculous as possible.

They used "peas and rice" instead of the Lord's name.

[IntravenousDemilo]

55. You should check out the airplane version of "Crank", with Jason Statham.

It's one of the extras on the DVD. What's really neat is watching that version with its sanitized soundtrack along with the subtitles that still show the almost royal blue language, where every second word is either fuck or motherfucker or something equally unparliamentary..

[Common Sense Party]

56. They put the entire airplane soundtrack on the DVD?

I have been griping for years that the movie studios should do this.

There are lots of movies that we have to wait to watch until the kids are in bed, just because of the language.

I would LOVE to have this option become standard for DVDs.

[IntravenousDemilo]

59. Mm-hmm

You're right, it is pretty remarkable -- at least I've never seen it before, which is why I thought I should mention it.

[rockymountaindem]

28. Feck!

[SarahB]

29. freakin' and shart

[Common Sense Party]

32. Here in Utah, the favorite F-bomb substitutes are "flip" and "fetch."

I'm so flippin' mad...

I lost my fetchin' keys.

Silly and sad, I know.

[HamdenRice]

31. Dag!

In a movie I otherwise hated, Joe Dirt, the Dirt character uses "dag" soooo effectively!

[Radio_Lady]

33. SHOOT! PLUCK! DERN! JEEBUS! That's what I SHOULD say!

[BlueIris]

34. Dagnabit. That and drat.

You can't go wrong with drat.

[Seashell Eyes]

35. Son of a booger!

One of my RAs who didn't like to cuss would say this. I think it is actually worse than calling someone a son of a bitch. I also like "fudge nuggets",what the funk, bloody, and I don't give a flying Philadelphia fart.

[Common Sense Party]

36. "Fudge nuggets." Me gusta. Especially in vanilla ice cream. nt

[WritingIsMyReligion]

37. "Mofo."

"What the frig?"

"Frigate!"

"M-f-ing stupid!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

38. I always say "son of a biscuit." Also

"Sugarfoot!"

"Mother Puss-Bucket!"

"Cheese and Rice!"

**I love "Johnny Dangerously", BTW. "Knock down that wall, knock down that wall...and knock down THAT fargin' wall!"

[libodem]

40. shoot

heck, darn, gosh, golly, jeez, frickin', freakin', jeepers, jeez louise, son of a gun, shiza, cheese and rice, got dandruff, some of it itches! And I use the real things, too. I've turned into quite a foul-mouthed beotch, lately. I blame Bush.

[Common Sense Party]

42. "got dandruff, some of it itches"!??! LOL!

I also use "Shi'ite Muslim!" from time to time.

[yellowdogintexas]

41. Holy Moses was always good and "How in the Sam Hill..?

My mom had a good one: How in the cat hair..did..etc.

Hells bells and panther tracks...

one of my grandmothers said Holy Loving Mother a lot

i use fudge and drat a lot.

My dad's biggest baddest expletive was dad-blame.

[Common Sense Party]

43. I used to use Sam Hill a great deal. I don't know why I've stopped.

[yellowdogintexas]

62. yep. don't know who Sam Hill was, but he sure comes in handy. nt

[Starbucks Anarchist]

44. Jeezabiscuits!

[fizzgig]

45. that struck me as hilarious

and i have no idea why :shrug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

47. I have that effect on people.

:P

[UrbScotty]

46. Martha Focker (nt)

[BlooInBloo]

48. Frickin.

[SeattleGirl]

49. I have a variation on that: Frick-frackin' son of a beebop!

:P

[BlooInBloo]

51. Whoa. Hardcore.

lol!

[SeattleGirl]

52. .......

:spray:

[sakabatou]

50. Frag

Verdamnt... oh wait that's an actual swear word...

[IntravenousDemilo]

53. Rackafrackin'... n/m

[Common Sense Party]

57. My favorite Yosemite Samism: "Bric-a-brackin' rasafraza!"

Or something phonetically similar.

[Wapsie B]

54. Dadburnit

[NMDemDist2]

58. i use drat and gerk

if i'm really upset but can't let loose a stream of obscenity I'll go with Christ on a Crutch

[Seabiscuit]

60. Fuc_!

[AwakeAtLast]

61. My 5 y/o says, "Pickle fish!"

She came up with it on her own. That one always cracks me up! :rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

63. Mother of Pearl - W.C. Fields

bastiges!

somanabenches!

Roman Moronie: Deported to Sweden :rofl:

[zabet]

65. Dagnabbit..

Horse feathers - Mom's nice phrase for horse shit
Malarkey
Shuckey darn and slop the chickens.

[Rhythm]

66. "jupiter coyote!" (which was the name of a bar band in Charlotte )

I'm also fond of: fark, frak (think old 'Battlestar Galactica'), sheiss, and WTF?