This is my pre-leaving DU announcement thread

[Wetzelbill]

I am simply announcing that sometime soon, I will announce that I am leaving DU in a tearful, wistful rant in which I hearken back to the good old days of DU, before I became an embittered tragic soul, lost here on a website that quite possibly saved my life when I discovered it. I will make this speech with great delusions of grandeur, and mock pain and consternation at all the perceived slights over my recent threads.

However, secretly I will be wishing for DUers to reply to my Farewell speech in two ways. 1. To kiss my ass. 2. To beg me not to leave. Then I can lord my departure over everyone in one last obscene powertrip of a thread.

It'll be great.

[Shine]

1. Can't wait!

:P

[Wetzelbill]

5. like so how many one night stands did you have again?

:rofl:

I'm a dead man.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Your Rove approves

:thumbsup:

[Wetzelbill]

7. Karl says I need to campaign full time

and spend time with my family. :)

[bicentennial_baby]

8. If you're the Partridge Family, then,

you're all set!! :D

[skygazer]

3. Piss off

:P

[Wetzelbill]

9. see it's people like you

who make me pretend that I am leaving. :silly:

[Lex]

4. We should just pin this to the top of the forums to save time.

People could just cut n' paste it and then sign it.

:D

[Wetzelbill]

11. it does make a decent template.

Maybe in my final speech I can leave another more in depth blueprint for proper ways to insure a Tombstoning. At at least a Pitt Stop.

[matcom]

6. please, Please, PLEASE don't ANNOUNCE?

:cry:

oh wait....

:shrug:

:D

[Wetzelbill]

12. I think this is where I feign righteous compassion

and I bring up some big moment we shared on some thread, while still trying to make you feel like shit because I'm leaving. It's a delicate balancing act.

[matcom]

24. but you were the first to give me a reach-around!

x(

[Wetzelbill]

26. IBTL

:rofl:

[jonnyblitz]

10. !!!!!!

[Wetzelbill]

13. And this is where I just flat refuse to leave the thread

even though I said I'd be leaving DU. :)

[jonnyblitz]

29. this is my favorite thread of the day!

"I am leaving" threads are my DU pet peeve, especially if the person does one, comes back and then does another one. how fucking PATHETIC is THAT?

[In_The_Wind]

14. I'll start now ~ please don't go!

:loveya:

[Wetzelbill]

15. well, we'll always have IMs

:)

[In_The_Wind]

19. only as long as I'm at home

I use a different messenger account while I'm traveling.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. If you go, you need to return your campaign contributions.

:P

[Wetzelbill]

20. I think Kurovski is handling those

and he has a new car...hmmm...

[Midlodemocrat]

27. And it's probably a Hummer.

:eyes:

[Wetzelbill]

28. oh you're so homophobic

:rofl:

[EstimatedProphet]

17. Reruns again.

[Wetzelbill]

21. I think I'm out of material

[Canuckistanian]

18. May I be the first to offer a pre-emptive dismissal of your leaving?

And reserve for myself the future wish that you not let the egress door strike you where the deity has cloven you?

[Wetzelbill]

22. I like the way you think

[Arugula Latte]

23. Could I pleeeeease be the one to post "Don't let the door hit ya ...

where the good lord split ya?" when you announce?

Please?! Please?! :bounce:

on edit: Aw, crap. I just saw that Canuckistanian beat me to it ... :grr:

[Wetzelbill]

25. sure, I'll tip you off ahead of time

[Hugin]

30. Go for it, dude.

:popcorn:

[philosophie_en_rose]

31. This is my pre-you're-leaving-DU post.

In which I tell you to check your PM for the begging, crying, revenge planning, and secret-better-than-DU website address.

:patriot:

[Ava]

32. will you leave your post-count to me in your DU will?

:P ;)

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Wetzelbill]

34. I've taken enough of your shit

you're the reason why I'm leaving. READ THE RULES. You can't stalk another DUer from thread to thread, fighting over the same topic. I'm alerting you. And you're on Ignore.

[Hugin]

35. Now, I know why you prefer DU over those other places, Mr. Grovelbot...

You'd starve to death anywhere else. ;)

[SOteric]

36. This is my pre-out-of-the-loop announcement

Wherein I'm not on DU the day you announce, show up 3 weeks later saying "Where's Wetzelbill these days?" only to receive a bunch of cryptic responses and myriad pms each telling of more greivous wrongs. My bewilderment won't be complete until you return, 2 months hence and tell us all you were away owing to computer hard drive problems.

[BarenakedLady]

37. I can't wait!

I'll be there with bells on.



And nothing else, natch. ;)

[PeaceNikki]

38. Are you also planning on

having your mother post a thread shaking her finger at everyone who criticizes your GBCW thread?

:hide:

[AwakeAtLast]

39. Can't I just ask you to kiss my ass now?

:shrug:

Why wait? :evilgrin:





:hide:

[bridgit]

40. sounds great, like several chapters torn from Dickens...

hope there'll be a blockbuster movie too :bounce:

[Debi]

41. I know I've got my 'ass kissing please don't go you'll be missed'

post bookmarked somewhere - I'm sure I'll find it by the time you post your actual good bye cruel DU thread! :bounce:

And my 'welcome back where you been so long I thought you were TSd' post is saved as well, for when you return two weeks later :eyes: