Further proof that I am a loser.

[elshiva]

I'm 25 and live in my parents' basement.

I do not have a real job.

I am a Christian.

I do not have any friends. I used to have them, but they never return my calls anymore. I guess they realize what a loser I am. That's fine I love them too much to drag them down.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

1. Buck Up-Jesus Loves You

And I'm sure you have lots of redeeming qualities...

[fizzgig]

2. none of those things make you a loser, sweetie

i'm only a year older than you and would love to move back into my dad's basement

[elshiva]

7. Thank you. What is that in your sigline?

[fizzgig]

8. it's fizzgig

a creature from my favorite movie, the dark crystal

[wildhorses]

3. i am a loser, too.

just got dumped by a married man.

no job.

lost my religion.

all my friends live long distance.

so who is the biggest loser of us all?

[elshiva]

4. You are not a loser, wildhorses. You a very cool.

:hug: Sorry about getting dumped. :hug:

[wildhorses]

5. thanks...

you are wicked cool, too :hug:

plenty of fish in the sea...bigger and better ;)

[hfojvt]

14. so this means

you are, like, available, (wink, wink) :woohoo:

Lost your religion? I have just the thing. I just bought "Dogma" on DVD.

I have sorta lost touch with all my long distance friends. Between the service club, the churches, and the Democratic party though, I may sorta have some local ones.

You forgot Poland though, the biggest thing. You are way, way, way, far, much, and totally way older than Elshiva :hide:

I am too though :cry: almost twice as old.

These young people who think they are losers. The game is not over in the third inning kid. It's not a loss yet, just because you are down 5-0.

I've got you topped though, wildhorses. I have never even been in a relationship to be dumped from.

[JVS]

6. I refuse to believe you are a loser.

[JI7]

9. if that makes you a loser, then i am a far bigger loser than you are

[CBHagman]

10. You are a shining light.

I'm always glad to see you at DU. :hi:

[Danger Mouse]

11. I'm 26 and live with my parents and don't have any friends either.

I do have a real job, though, i guess, pay sucks though...
:hi:

[ThomCat]

12. You're definitely not a loser here.

You're pretty well liked. :)

[DerekG]

13. My condition's not much different, but I don't fancy myself a loser

I just turned 25 two weeks ago, and still live with my family.

Mine is a mere part-time job.

I too am a Christian, thanks to Dostoevsky and Tolstoy.

I have friends, but have never been in love.


For all this, I don't think I'm a loser. And I know for sure you're not. So stop all that talk, my beauty.

[BlueIris]

15. You're not a loser; please call a crisis line. nt

[Drunken Irishman]

16. If you're a loser, so am I, and I don't want to think that.

I'm 23 and not even living in my parents' basement, rather the bedroom down the hall.

I go through jobs like they were Thai hookers.

I am Catholic.

I do have friends, we do hang out and it does appear I've got a meaningful relationship with a girl starting, but who the hell knows.

My biggest fear is that in ten years I'll still be in the same position. I actually have anxiety attacks thinking about that possibility.

[last_texas_dem]

17. You're not a loser

From reading your posts, I'd say you're a good, kind person with a lot to contribute to this world. I know I missed your posts on here when it seemed like for a while recently you weren't posting as much as you once did. I'm around your age and my life is not where I would like it to be at this point, either, and sometimes it doesn't seem like things will ever change. But whether you are where people are "supposed" to be at this point in your life or not really means very little in the long run. Working to be where you want to be, doing what matters to you, and learning to love yourself- those are some of the things that really matter. I haven't reached those goals myself, but I hope to, if not anytime even in the near future, at least before I die, and I hope that you can find the things you want out of life as well. :hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

18. You are not a loser

I fit into all these categories. And your choice of religion does not make you a loser -it means you have thought things through and come to a decision about who you worship and that is intelligent in itself.

[MissMillie]

19. If there's something about your life that you don't like

then what are you doing to change it?

It's not your circumstances that make you a loser, it's whether or not you're willing to work to change what you don't like about yourself.

If you don't like yourself, and do nothing,....

[Dragonbreathp9d]

20. What do you mean you dont have any friends?

Look at all those who posted in reply to your post.

DU Lounge Lizards are full of Love

:hug:

some of the most caring and friendly people in the world frequent here, if I'm ever feeling down, the support of the Lounge is astounding.

[Rhiannon12866]

21. Hey, my friend, I could match you on a few points, and I've got more than a few years on you...

You are not a loser, my friend. We all have issues, but it's how we deal with them that counts. I take two steps forward and one step back. We all do, and all go through some very dark times. I'm just trying to climb out of one. Take my hand, and all the others here, and move forward with the rest of your friends on DU. You do have friends, and the responses to this thread prove it.:-)

Rhiannon:hug:

[MissMillie]

23. that was beautiful

:thumbsup:

[Rhiannon12866]

27. Thank you so much... That means a lot.

Life has not been kind to me, recently, either, so I understand sadness and feeling alone with it, but I'm also convinced that how we handle the bad times means everything. I'm still learning, even at this point in my life. We all are, though some of us take longer than others. *sigh* elshiva and I go way back here, and I care about her...

Rhiannon:hug:

[applegrove]

22. You are going through a stage. Go to school or take scuba diving lessons.

Get out there and do stuff you love. Pursue your interests. Many young adults go through a phase where they have to admit life isn't what they expected and you have to get out there and follow your heart to find people who are just like you and share the same interests.

[Patiod]

25. I used to have a motto: "you don't meet anyone in yr apartment"

I think they made a song out of it for the show "Avenue Q"

The point is - you've got to get out there in order for the world to happen to you. It's tough without money, (maybe scuba is out for the time being) but a lot of communities offer night school (often cheap) classes in hobbies and sports, and then there's VOLUNTEERING which is FREE. There's an election coming up - got to be a good Dem in your area that could use your help stuffing envelopes or doing data entry! Meals on Wheels desperately needs drivers who are available during the day. Community Centers need coaches who are available after school.

Great way to meet potential friends, lovers and future employers. Maybe even future landlords!

(PS - Applegrove is correct - the mid-twenties can be tough. Also, make sure you're getting enough exercise - helps a lot with the depression)

[applegrove]

28. And if you do feel depressed take it as a sign your body is telling you

to hit the deck and make some changes. That may mean getting a prescription. Drugs do work wonders these days. So I you feel very depressed for a long time..talk to your doctor. I did. My life opened up for me and I got my memory back.

[City of Mills]

24. Oh Boy...

Elshiva,

You're not a loser. No one is judging you aside from yourself. I bought and sold two homes before I was 26, I had money, a beautiful wife, loved my job...I had it all.

Now, I'm 32, broke, own only the bed I sleep in, and I live in my old childhood room in my parent's house. I'll be paying down debt for the foreseeable future with no easy way out. My wife has her own place, has the freedom I used to take for granted, and all of the fun and friends that go with it.

But you know what? I'm not a loser. I had it good; right now I have it bad. But I have two arms, two legs, and I spend most days free from debilitating pain. I count those as the positives, and they aren't important.

If your friends aren't returning your calls, it's because they may feel overwhelmed by your and your low self-esteem. That's kind of cruel but I went through that. The most important thing you can do right now is be selfish. Don't worry about other people, they are not judging you - and if you still think they are, so what? They don't have to walk in your shoes so they can't understand what you're going through anyway.

The hardest step but the one that will put you on the right path is to realize that you are OK. Take care of yourself. I mean that. Eat right, go for a 10 minute walk every day, and indulge in the pasttimes and hobbies that make you feel good. No apologies. You will begin to develop inner strength. People pick up on that - it's that intangible that makes us attractive...the self-confidence. But it has to be real. When people begin calling you back and wanting to spend time with you, that's when you know you have it. It's cruel and ironic that people will abandon you sometimes when you are at your weakest, but that is the weakness of human nature. Reach out to those who have it worse than you. Take care of some small part of your world - I walk around in the state forest near where I live and pick up trash along the walking trails. Sometimes, even the small things have a huge positive impact on your soul.

Always remember, you and only you have the power to change your life. Baby steps, Elshiva. Change is slow and frustratingly gradual but as long as you're taking more positive steps than negative steps, you are well on your way and karma will reward you!

[Sock Puppet]

26. Maybe your friends are just really busy right now?

I bet you'll find that they really do care about you. :hug:
I know we do here. :grouphug:

[zanne]

29. Not enough people know you.

I mean the real you; the one who posts here on DU. You think you're behind because you're 25, but from my point of view you're "only" 25. You don't have to set the world on fire right now. I realize you haven't asked for advice, but I'll give it to you anyway. I think you should get out as much as you can. It doesn't matter if you have to go out alone, as long as you go to places where there are other people. It'll seem strange at first, but eventually you'll start enjoying yourself and making friends.

[femmocrat]

30. Twenty-five is just the right age to make a fresh start.

Get a better job, go back to school, find new friends.... do whatever it takes to get out on your own and to feel better about yourself. Please! Don't waste time moaning, just do it!!! :hug: