Does an event from your past ever come back to haunt you?

[zanne]

Lately, I've been thinking about my first big love (30 years ago!). For some reason, it's in my heart and mind again after all these years. Out of nowhere, I think about the end of that relationship and I feel a little ache. I don't know why it's on my mind so much,but it hurts a little to think of it.
Have you ever had something like this happen? I keep thinking that either it's early dementia or menopause! If this keeps up, I'll have to get professional help!

[Dragonbreathp9d]

1. I havent lived 30 years yet

but stuff from awhile back that I thought I was through does tend to pop back up on occassion... sucks

[zanne]

5. I have a theory about people under 30....

I think that the emotions you have now will be the most intense emotions of your life. Maybe that's why they have so much power over our hearts and minds.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

6. I have a feeling you are right

[wildhorses]

2. daily, i think of one pivotal event that happened many years ago

not just lately.

[bluethruandthru]

3. Same for me..

Although I don't think that first love haunts me so much. It's just that I'm curious what ever happened to him... what if... you know? The older I get, the more I think of it. I suppose it was unfinished business. :shrug:

[zanne]

4. Y'know, I think you're right.

On one hand, I want to know what happened to him, but on the other hand, I want to remember him the way he was. (I must be a romantic at heart).

[In_The_Wind]

7. Yes. My x suggested we should meet again in 20 years. I couldn't forget him.

Last year we met again after being apart for almost 30 years. We have become friends. He is watching my apartment in Florida while I'm in New York for the summer.

I believe that as we age it's only natural to visit our memories, the good and the sad ones.

Talking with a professional might help you to sort out what is going on in your life now. Men aren't the only ones who go through a mid-life crises.

[mainegreen]

8. Nothings ever come back to interfere with my life, but emotionally haunt? Sure.

I've had to make one really painful choice. I don't regret it, it was the right choice at the time, but I most certainly feel like I can almost sense the alternate life I would have if I had chosen the other way. Most of that alternate life does not contain things I like, but there is one thing I deeply regret that I do not have, can not have, because of that choice that I would have had otherwise.

Cryptic I know, but it's a big deal to me.

:shrug:

[skygazer]

9. Oh, sure

I have several things in my life that have never stopped causing me material difficulties. My ex husband for one, who insists on popping up occasionally like a damn whack-a-mole and making my life more of a pain in the ass than it already is.

As for prior loves, I think everyone at some point kind of wistfully wonders what happened to someone and daydreams about what might have been. However, I think if it starts to really take over your mind, that's not so healthy.

[begin_within]

10. Yes things haunt me. But you must never live in the past or go back to it.

You must always keep moving forward. If those memories visit you, honor them and then let them fade out again.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Just that group of cheerleaders I killed at summer camp

[zanne]

14. You crack me up, Rabrrrrr. nt

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. All knots may be untied.

[triguy46]

13. Yep. Yes. Yeah. Sure. You bet.

1. Relationship not followed up on when I had the chance
2. Drinking issues
3. Drug issues
4. Bad academic experience
5. Bad career choice

[Haole Girl]

15. zanne...

I just wanted to share these lyrics with you. Yesterday I listened to this old song, for the first time in a long time. I'd forgotten how it helps me when I'm down. :hug:


"Stay Loose"

If you've got a heartache
Of the kind that will not pass by
Even if you don't see the end
of what lies around the bend
Don't stay that way
It's all in a day believe me
Even the best of dreams must end
Even so it grieves me
Stay loose, don't fight it
Let it take you all the way and
If it's wrong, you will right it
Do not waste these hours away

How many times have I told you
these are the tears I've shed
Could it be that I need help
Is it maybe I've come undone
And one thing more
You know it don't come easy
Even the best of friends must part
Even so it grieves me

Stay loose, don't fight it
Let love take a holiday
If it's wrong, you're gonna right it
Do not waste these hours away

Soon the storm will be over
And the clouds will all pass by
To be insane beyond belief
Is sometimes the best relief
And one thing sure
Love never did come easy
Even the best of dreams must end
Even so it grieves me

Stay loose, don't fight it
Let it take you all the way and
If it's wrong, you will right it
Do not waste these hours away

Stay loose, don't fight it
Let love take a holiday
If it's wrong, you're gonna right it
Do not waste these hours away

- Gordon Lightfoot

[AggieGal]

16. Bankruptcy

It was a few years ago, but I think it will haunt me in the future for things that are not credit related. A higer rate on loans is to be expected.

I read this article in Reader's Digest and one woman did not get a job based on a bankructy on her credit report. Until the company pulled her credit report, she was looking like a good canidate for the job. Their excuse was that people who have a bankruptcy are more likely to steal.

I think that is total BS! I am now afraid of what I could miss out on in the future due to some bad credit handling mistakes I made in the past. Mistakes that have nothing to do with my work ability.

[WilmywoodNCparalegal]

17. Have you thought about contacting this person?

The reason I say that is because more and more people nowadays are contacting former loves. Donna Hanover, Rudy's ex wife, married someone she dated in high school (I think) after they reconnected after many years. There are plenty of stories like that. For 10 years, I have always thought about someone in my life. I since reconnected with that someone who, incidentally, also thought about me all that time. I don't know if it will lead to a long-term thing, but it feels like we haven't missed a beat all these years. Revisiting the past is not all so bad and unhealthy.

[Xipe Totec]

18. I will tell you in another life

when we are both cats.

- Vanilla Sky

[mitchum]

19. My birth