True headlines and misprints

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Doctor Testifies in Horse Suit  
Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy  
Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One  
City May Impose Mandatory Time for Prostitution  
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe  
Why You Want Sex Changes With Age  
Boys Cause As Many Pregnancies As Girls  
Cemetery Allows People to be Buried by Their Pets  
Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire  
Antique Stripper to Demonstrate Wares at Store  
Deadline Passes for Striking Police  
A new Miss America will be drowned tonight on a live broadcast from Atlantic City.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For Sale: Three canaries of undermined sex.
For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Feces won't close pool for a day again.
Previously Frozen Dangerous Crab $9.49/lb.
Six men, their faces covered with red bandanas, got out of a Cherokee carrying a knife, baseball bat, billy club, and rolling pin, said Davis, 20. "I knew when I saw the rolling pin that something bad was going down," Davis said.
Free: farm kittens, ready to eat
Jello brand toilet tissue, regular, sugar free, fat free.
Fireproof clothing factory burns to ground
Oatmeal rasin cookies, Ingredients: ham, water, pasturized cheese, salt, dried whey
Lost cat, last seen at the Park County Rod & Gun Club Shooting Range
Air board to study fast food emmisions.
Fedral agents raid gun shop, find weapon.
Main Street Pizza: we deliver, or pick up
Lose All your weight: Only $49.00
State prisons to replace easy open locks
Turkey smoked sausage: beef added for better flavor
Youur guests will love the entry hall and living room with 15" ceilings.
The Chico, California, City Council has enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
William Kelly was fed secretary
Same old sex positions at Vatican
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Child's stool great for use in garden
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Never withhold herpes from loved one
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
In a hotel brochure: There is a French widow in every room.
In a hotel pamphlet: Our manager has personally passed all the water served in the restaurant.
On a Swiss menu: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a church bulletin: In the future, ushers will swat latecomers to the service.
In a church bulletin: During the Burning Bowel Service you will be allowed to let go and release anything unwanted in your life.

[Richard Steele]

1. :)

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2. That reminds me of another one...

from those little things at the end of articles in "The New Yorker" magazine:

Christ The Answer church [phone]
If no answer call [phone]

[skygazer]

3. Same old sex positions at Vatican

What a boring place. :rofl:

[MissMillie]

4. that was my favorite too

:thumbsup:

[unpossibles]

5. nice. we had one in Columbus when OSU got a contract with Coca Cola

OHIO STATE UNSURE WHAT TO DO WITH COKE MONEY

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6. LOL