Bullshit at work.

[ThomCat]

x(

I never, ever get to take a vacation. I use all my days off as sick days for all those days I'm in too much pain to function. All told, it's about 15-20 days throughout an entire year.

There are three of use here in my office. One has gone on 2 cruises. One for 2 weeks and one for 1 week. And he took off another full week to be with him mom after surgery. The boss didn't say a word.

The other coworker's wife works for a travel agency so they get to go on trips on short notice. He's taking off all of next week again to go to Cancun again. The boss has no problem with this.

Both of them have been out of the office far more than I have. Yet, I took off 1 day last week because of severe migraines and muscle cramps. I got a "friendly note" that I should come into the office even if I'm "not feeling my best" because it makes us all look bad when I'm not in the office.

:wtf:

I think this is blatant discrimination based on my disability. I'm wondering what to do about it.

[lizziegrace]

1. I know

I think in their eyes, they see you as weak and vulnerable because of your medical condition. Those who do not live with chronic pain cannot imagine what your life is like.

I'm so sorry Thom. :(

[ThomCat]

6. I think you're right.

They don't include me in a lot of their casual conversations. It's like they feel uncomfortable bragging about their weekend activities if I'm there.

[lizziegrace]

10. I know how you feel

for different reasons. I work in a company that's owned by two guys in their 30's and all the staff is 30 or younger. I'm the oldest one. I'm not included in anything either.


:hug:

[BlueIris]

2. I realize you may not be able to budget for it right now, but--lawyer?

Or, at least, a lawyer friend.

[ThomCat]

5. I wish.

I don't think my job is at risk over this.
I don't think this will get blatant enough to cost me my job.
I don't know if I'm paid less than the others because I don't know how much they make.

So far, all I know for sure is that I'm definitely treated more poorly than the others, and I'm sure it's because of my disability.

I stand to lose a lot of I make an issue of it. But I put up with this shit if I don't. So I'm in a catch-22.

[Gormy Cuss]

3. If you can handle it calmly, explain the difference between not feeling your best and a migraine

then explain how the cramping muscles inhibit what little ability you have left to do your job. Explain all of this in writing, natch, and add the obvious statement that you do come to work whenever you are able.

Also advise that you talk to a lawyer or advocate before doing the above.

[ThomCat]

7. Good advice.

The lawyer is going to be the hard part.
:(

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. keep the notes. forward the emails to a private email acct etc

keep track of this stuff.

[ThomCat]

8. Done and done.

I've got 2 e-mails now that I've forwarded to a personal e-mail account.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. track your coworkers days off as closely as you can

put them in an email or something. you want to keep good records of everything.

[TZ]

9. Be careful

as someone who was laid off of a job recently because I had been sick long term (even though they PROMISED ME they would hold my job) it sounds like they are looking for an excuse to get rid of you. Employers seem to get very nervous about chronically ill people....

[ThomCat]

12. Absolutely.

I would never, ever believe promises from an employer. They're not enforcable unless they're in writing, and often not even then.

I think my boss is more likely to be afraid I'll quit. He could not train someone to replace me because he doesn't know much of what I do. He depends on me to cover too many problems, and resolve them before he even knows about many of them. I think he knows he needs to keep me.

But that doesn't prevent him from hitting me with a double standard. x(

[Deep13]

13. Respond with a note saying...

..."If by 'not feeling your best', you mean being in constant agony like I was during my day off, then I respectfully decline to accept your advice. In point of fact 'feeling my best' is idealized and fanciful state about which I can only dream. I come in to work when the suffering is not sufficient to prevent it. P.S., here is your note. Please excuse the piss stain."

Alright, maybe the piss idea is not so good.

[ThomCat]

14. LOL!

Just the thought of writing a note like that makes me smile. :7

I won't do it, of course. But it's still a wonderful thought.

What's totally amazing is he's watched me gradually go from a cane to crutches, to modified cruches and wrist braces. He's seen me needing a back brace to get through the day. He's seen me in so much pain I had to pay a car service $80 to get me home. He knows I work through huge amounts of pain.

But he apparently thinks that's as bad as it could possible get, there are no worse days, so I must be taking off days just to goof off.
x(

[Deep13]

15. It's not a bad idea to document your correspondence in writing.

As a side note, I think you are entitled to some goof-off time. The mental strain alone on you is more than ever your idiot boss should have to bear.

[skygazer]

16. I will second (or third or fourth) the suggestion about documentation

Save the "friendly note". Sounds like you may need to speak to HR about this. It's not right that you don't get any vacation time - in my job, my sick days are separate from my vacation time. :hug:

[ThomCat]

17. It's a small company. He is HR.

:(