Do your pets have 'rules'

[LynneSin]

You know - certain rules of what you can and cannot do with them.

Abbott has only one rule - feed me on time damnit.

Evita has tons of rules including:

• You may only pet Evita when Evita is ready to be petted. She'll run away at any other attempts during the 23:45 non-petting hours
  
• You may only pet Evita with one hand. Any attempts to pet Evita with 2 hands and Evita will run away
  
• You may not pick up Evita
  
• You may not hold Evita
  
• Evita will not sit in your lap
  
• You may only touch Evita's head, ears, back and tail. Any attempts to touch the belly or legs will result in Evita ending the petting session early
  
• You may not end the petting session early. Any attempts to stop petting Evita during Evita's petting time will result in a bash by the paw and a sharp meow
  

So what rules do your pets have for you?

[LostinVA]

1. Punkers must eat her treats on a paper bag by the kitchen sink

Haruka routinely insists on giving the cat treats far away from the bag, then bragging when she eats them. She's whipped in every other way by this cat, so it's her little form of rebellion against the feline overlord.

[TZ]

2. my cats rules for me

1) I must feed them on time or even a bit earlier if possible
2) I must allow them to sample anything I am eating in order to see if its something they would like
3) I must play with them with whatever toy they designate (by politely bringing it to me) at whatever time they find convenient, day or night
4) Should any of the above rules not be obeyed they will punish me by crawling on me, sitting on me, and batting at me (either my head or at my feet) while the one stares balefully at me in a guilt inducing way until obedience is obtained...
:rofl:

[NMDemDist2]

3. if you leave the house for more than an hour, treats must be given to all

in a very specific order (oldest to youngest) if the oldest didn't hear/see you come in, the others must go get her

Bubba must play ball (work) before dinner to justify his meal

Kitty loves pets and lap time but NO SMOKING allowed!

[LynneSin]

4. Do some of the other pets smoke

:hide:

[Arkansas Granny]

5. These are my pets rules:

Sapphire (dog): Whenever I leave the house without her I must administer snacks before I go.

Toots (cat): I am not to touch her belly, under any circumstances. She is vehemently opposed to such treatment.

[BarenakedLady]

6. Mine

*Emma will not go outside alone. Ben must come with her, even if he doesn't want to.
*Emma will not eat her food unless Ben is eating as well.
*Emma must exit the house in front of Ben.
*All petting is allowed for Emma only. Attention paid to Ben will not be tolerated by Emma.
*Table scraps on plates or in bowls are for Emma only.
*All items on the floor are for Ben to hold in his mouth and stash in his crate.
*Maya may not be pet unless it is her idea.
*Maya is not to be held or placed anywhere she doesn't want to be.
*Anything that moves is fair game for Maya to attack.
*You may not approach Duke quickly or loudly. In all other situations, extensive loving is warranted indefinitely.
*Live mice belong to them and I may not try to rescue them from the wrath of Maya and Duke.

[deepthought42]

7. Yes.

My lucky bamboo demands to be worshiped on the hour every hour.



:rofl:

[grace0418]

8. Frankie has very simple demands, attention and food at all times.

He doesn't care where, when or how you pet/scratch/rub/squeeze/hug/kiss him, just that it's constant. His favorites are scratches under the chin and belly rubs, but he's happy with just about anything. His belly is absolutely irresistible so I'm glad he doesn't mind.

Of course I adopted him when he was two weeks old and I couldn't put him down because he was so freaking adorable. So that may be why he's an affection addict now.

[grace0418]

26. I forgot! He *must* sit at the table with us when we eat dinner. We pull up a stool

from the island and hit sits between us. But if we let him get too close he starts pawing at food, so it has to be a certain distance away. If we forget to pull up the stool to the table he gets really mad. He even does it when we have guests. Cracks them up every time. They're totally amazed that he'll sit there calmly the entire time we're eating.

[Patiod]

62. My mother's dachshund is named Frankie

Short for Frankfurter. Not named after Mr. Sinatra, who died shortly before she got the dog.

[grace0418]

67. My Frankie was named for both! He had the most amazing blue eyes when

I found him (I didn't know at that time that their eyes change color), so I wanted to name him Frank. I'm not a huge Sinatra fan or anything, it just seemed to fit. Then my husband convinced me to take his brother as well so I wanted to come up with a good duo name for them. So they became Frank & Beans.

It ended up being the perfect name for Beans. Everyone who met him commented that we must've named him that because he was shaped like a bean. LOL!

[Patiod]

69. What IS your Frankie?

My mom's little guy is a "tween" dachshund -- too big to be a real mini, but much smaller than a standard

Frankie as a little guy:

[grace0418]

70. Holy Boy is that a cute picture! I love doxxies!

I forget that people don't know Frankie, I assume everyone knows he's my cat because I talk about him so much. LOL!

Here's his picture (wearing a sombrero):

[Patiod]

71. Does your Frankie have any attitude issues?

He's really cut. I love tabbies.

[grace0418]

72. I'm not just saying this because I'm his mom (and I adopted him at 2 weeks old

and fed him with a bottle and everything so he thinks of me as his mom), but he is the sweetest living creature I have ever known in my life. He was a little skittish and shy when he was younger. Not horribly so, but he would only let you hold him for a few minutes before he'd scoot off somewhere.

Then one day when he was around 2 he completely changed. Overnight. I have no idea why. He became a total loverboy. He loves everyone. He greets everyone at the door with demands for petting or belly rubs. He sits on anyone's lap, lets anyone pick him up and never hides. Even at the vet, where he's terrified, he still tries to charm everyone into being nice to him. Whenever there's a new vet on duty that hasn't met Frankie before they are always shocked by how sweet and friendly he is.

Now Beans on the other hand was a total demon at the vet. He was sweet the rest of the time but a little crazy. He loved attention and he loved to sit on your lap and be cuddled, but every once in awhile he'd just decide to bite your nose or stick his paw in your eye. Boy he was cute though. When he died a few years ago Frankie was devastated. He cried every night for over a year. And he became even more of an attention hog. I swear Frankie would be happy if I carried him around in a baby snuggly all day.

Is your Frankie as tenacious as other doxxies? I still can't get over that picture. I love those ears. They feel like velvet.

[Patiod]

73. It sounds like Frankie is a hell of a cat!!!

Ours is a lover with us, but hates strangers. She will hide, then come out and yell at them, then storm off.

My mother's dachshund is unusual - the other ones we've had have been chowhounds, but this one is a not. The only thing this one is tenacious about is playing ball all the time.

[grace0418]

74. Thanks! He's a once-in-a-lifetime pet I think.

He's 14 now getting a bit elderly so I try to enjoy every day. I love him so much it makes my chest ache.

[triguy46]

9. My two labs:

Rex will NOT fetch. Period. Coal will fetch, but only tennis balls.

[SoxFan]

10. Neurotic beasties

Brianna will sit on my shoulders, chest, back, etc., but under no circumstances will she simply sit on my lap. I swear she thinks that "lap cat" has a negative connotation.

Pippy has an invisible shield around her. If she's not in the mood for attention, and you try to pet her, she begins to squawk if you get within a foot of her. On the other hand, if she's ready for attention, she'll just climb right up on you.

Brianna also has a hang-up about her water. She prefers to drink straight out of the bathroom sink, and will sit up there and chirp until I turn on the faucet.

[DarkTirade]

11. Umm... my pet must stay in water to breathe? :)

[zanne]

12. My three cats must all eat in separate places

They all have to have their own dining area. Bibit near the cellar door, Sammy on the sunporch and Gabby near the fridge. They all want to be fed at once in the morning, of course, and they all have separate water dishes, of course, and I must feed them before I have my first cup of coffee. Sammy sometimes likes to eat outside on the porch, but when he comes back in, he expects his food to be there, too.
They also have rules about bad weather. If it rains or snows, they have to be shown that it is raining/snowing out the back AND the front door, just in case the front door leads to some parallel universe. There are more cat rules, but I'm getting tired just thinking of them. These cats were all strays at one time, eating out of garbage cans and fighting to survive. They really saw me coming.

[WolverineDG]

30. They have "The Door Into Summer" syndrome

All cats do. :eyes:

;)

dg

[flvegan]

13. "Do NOT let strangers try to pet me." Our oldest actually bit our lawyer...

in our house...while he was there at our invite.

We told him not to try petting him until he was ready. Silly counsel, they never listen.

And no, he's not a pit bull (the dog, that is).

[havocmom]

40. My cat mauled the sheriff

three times. He just can't accept that she doesn't like him. She says he is sorta slow.

[auburngrad82]

14. Petey has rules

All toys belong to him. No other dog can touch his toys. If another dog has a toy it automatically becomes Petey's when he sees it. Other dogs must bow down to Petey.

[PeaceNikki]

15. I love this thread!!

:rofl:

[LynneSin]

16. I'm suprised there aren't more responses

I figured everyone has a pet with bizarro quirks

[VLC]

17. Curry's treats must be placed IN HIS MOUTH

If they fall out, you must pick it up and put it back in. He will not pick up treats from the floor. Curry may not be touched with feet. Curry must be walked at the end of his 16-ft retractable leash, as far behind you as he can be and as slowly as possible. Curry will not be posed or put into any other position than the one he himself chooses. He will not be pulled or pushed into vehicles, rooms, or anywhere else.

Guy cannot be made to stand by anything with wheels. Guy must pull on the leash (as far in front of you as he can be) with all his might. You must walk as fast as possible.

You may not carry Denia up the stairs, even though she is old and has arthritis and sometimes falls on the stairs. Denia must be allowed to sleep on the floor and whine for attention, but when put on the bed so as to make attention giving possible, she will jump off and start all over.

All three: You will wake up between 5:55 and 6:15 every single day or suffer the wrath. Any water provided indoors is not as tasty as the exact same water placed outdoors. Dirty puddles in the street are preferable to clean water from the tap.

[LynneSin]

18. I have the same issue with water

except they find the toilet more appetizing than the tap water.

I always keep the bathroom doors closed

[VLC]

19. I keep the toilet lid down, just in case.

I don't know if they'd try it and I don't want to find out!

[Critters2]

20. Oh, yes

Gracie's Rules:

The whole household wakes up when Gracie needs to go out, even if it's an hour before Mom's alarm is set to go off.
Once Gracie is out in the morning, Mom's next job is to put food and her dental biscuit in her dish. When she barks to come back in, both food AND dental biscuit MUST be in her dish. Gracie does not take her dental biscuit from Mom's hands, from off the floor, etc. Any change in this routine will result in Gracie tipping over her dish and any nearby wastebaskets.

After breakfast, Gracie likes to sit on the window seat for the rest of the morning, keeping vigil for the dreaded letter carrier. Gracie is NOT to be interrupted while sitting in the window seat.

Gracie decides when she goes out at night. She must be allowed to go out as late as she likes, and then to sit on the back porch, undisturbed, for as long as she wants. Only Gracie decides when she comes in to go to bed. Any attempt to bring her in before she's ready, will result in her stubbornly planting her feet and not budging on the back porch. Should she somehow be forced to come in earlier than she'd like, see above reference to tipped over wastebaskets.

Gracie decides her daily walking route. If any attempt is made to force her to walk the Riverwalk when she wants to go to the park, or vice versa, see above reference to stubborn planting of feet.



And that's just the dog!!

[ceile]

21. Cats' rules

Booty: do not attempt to pet me until you are in bed and in the proper spooning position (doesn't matter what time of day, I just have to be laying down). Otherwise, you will be snapped at, hissed at and given the "Fuck off" look.

Ambrose: I am the ruler of the house. Do not attempt: to eat before me, to walk in front of me, get anywhere near mom when I am receiving pets or you will be swatted at and possible jumped on. (he's a real shit to the others)

Cuerva: if you make eye contact with me be prepared to pet me for at least 20 minutes. (good vibes for Cuerv-she's not long for this world)

[MissMillie]

22. Siouxsie says

thou shalt not put your face anywhere near my body




Cosmo says thou shalt not mind that all 18 lbs of me jumps up into your lap w/o warning





Millie just says "meow"

[baby_mouse]

23. Hamish wont stop miaowing until you feed him.

Then he comes and says a chirruping "thank you". Then he sits and miaows at my feet until I click my fingernails, which means I'm okay with him sitting on my lap. Then he leaps onto my lap, but ONLY if I'm also using the laptop and only if I'm in a particular chair facing a certain way, and settles down for a loud purr. He wants lots of stroking at this juncture. Also, he might like to grab my forearm between his paws and bite me a bit, for fun.

If he joins us in bed he has to walk up and down the cushions at the head several times, clawing them, to express his love.

If you give him the wrong cat food he will sniff it and then sit up and look at you reproachfully, as if to say: "I'm not eating THAT. You *know* I don't eat that stuff."

[LibertyLover]

24. Oh heck yes,

These include, but are not limited to the following:

1. The red couch is for greyhounds and the while and black couch is for whippets. Humans may sit on these couches if there are no dogs on them or if there is only one dog on them, provided however that said human will use at least one hand to pet the dog currently on the couch.

2. Do not touch the Siberian Husky's tail. Do not touch the Siberian Husky's feet. Do not touch any other part of the Siberian Husky unless you first offer tribute in the form of something edible. This rule does not apply to the 5 year old who may touch any part of the Siberian Husky she feels like.

3. In the event that the male greyhound and the Siberian Husky approach the food dishes at the same time, the Siberian Husky shall give way to the male greyhound and allow him to eat first, however the Siberian Husky will be permitted to growl at the male greyhound as he walks away.

4. The female greyhound shall have sole possession of the covered hot tub for as long as she wants it.

5. When the 5 year old naps on the couch with one of the dogs, she may hold said dog's tail for comfort.

6. The master bedroom is the sole preserve of the male greyhound and the 2 whippets at night, during the day it is the sole preserve of the female greyhound. The senior male whippet sleeps at the bottom of the bed under the covers and the junior male whippet sleeps at the top of the bed on my pillow.

[Mythsaje]

25. Not so much "rules" as quirks.

We've got a house-full. 4 dogs of varying sizes and a single cat.

The Min-Pin sleeps in our bed. When I say goodnight to the wife, I MUST say goodnight to Bella as well. The Pomeranian sleeps on the dog bed beside my wife, the Jindo under the bed. The Shiba either sleeps in his crate or in my wife's chair the minute she gets up to go to bed.

The last out is at 10:00 PM if I'm home. Just after 11:00 if I'm at work. Last out is always followed by a cookie. The dogs line up and wait in turn for each, except the Shiba, who usually stays outside to be a porch dog late into the evening unless it's too cold.

Bejjing, the Jindo, reserves the right to paw the door open if we've left her out too long. She does not SHUT doors. She does not come inside if Mom is outside. She cannot guard mom from the wrong side of the door.

Damien, the cat, runs into the bedroom at bedtime to get some petting while everyone else is getting told goodnight, then comes back out into the living room and does whatever cats do. Sleep, usually.

After all brushings, baths, or anything vaguely unpleasant, the dogs always get treats. Damien rarely accepts treats.

Kharma, the Pom, is allowed to think he's the next boss beneath mom and dad. He isn't, but the other dogs (except the Min-Pin) allow him to think so. Kitsune, the Shiba, a pack-oriented breed, does not believe he's in the same pack with the other dogs. Humans are his pack. Other dogs are just annoyances.

The cat gets more upset about strangers being in the house than the dogs do, assuming we tell them "it's okay." The Pom will bark, the Shiba will greet, the Jindo will watch intently, and the Min-Pin will stay away until she figures out if they're okay or not. The cat will sit within sight and bitch. He does not meow--he squeaks.

Anyone who doesn't believe animals don't have individual personalities doesn't know animals very well.

[huskerlaw]

27. Wow, my cats seem somewhat normal...

Not entirely normal, however.

Riley:
The television is a cat bed. Specifically, his cat bed. And if he wants his cat bed heated, I shall make it so.
Kyra's (kitten) food is his. Nevermind that the adult cat food is in the next room. The adult food is also his.
Drinking water should be flowing. A "water dish" is filthy and unacceptable. Even if it's filled with bottled water.

Spencer:
Thou shalt not touch. Unless he demands it. But even then, thou shalt only touch with extreme caution. This rule shall also be followed by Kyra.
Nobody is to play with Kyra. Including Riley. Touching her spreads nasty germs throughout the house and makes the touchee unclean. Somehow the germs are not spread if Spencer decides to play with Kyra.
Loud noises are unacceptable. As are unexpected noises of any volume. The obvious response to such things is to dash out of the room and hide.

Kyra:
Dry food is for cats of a lower social status. It does not matter if said dry food is organic and costs $20/bag.
Wet cat food must be fresh. If it has been sitting out for more than 5 minutes, it is tainted and therefore inedible.
The cat bed belongs to her. As does the blanket that used to belong to Spencer. And the entire bed. Though she will allow others to use them on occasion.

[snappyturtle]

28. This has been so much fun to read! I have an angel cat. With

only one pet there are many, many rules.

Things Sugar, the angel, does not tolerate:
- Being petted with two hands.....or by two people at the same time
- Being picked up off the floor UNLESS I'm sitting on the floor
- Plastic bag rattling...whether from shopping or opening garbage bags
- Shrimp, fish or chicken not being shared.....sometimes beef but usually not
- Closed bathroom doors......inserts paw and shakes door or pushes open if not latched
- Having to stay inside after 7:00 am...loud meowing ensues
- Strangers period. Disapppears.
- Vet check ups....somehow just knows....disappears again usually under king size bed which
then requires call to vet's office to say we'll be late! This has happened twice recently!
Fortunately, our vet is a cat lover and tells me cats are smart!


Loves:
- Washington Journal.....follows pen on the newspapers
- "Pet Meds"----fresh catnip in a bag
- Clean folded laundry!!
- Open suitcases
- Bugs, butterflies, moths, crickets
- Brushing
- Meals twice a day....very dainty eater but we must not watch her eat!
- Sitting on my laptop.....while I'm using it!

[LynneSin]

29. I thought I would get more responses

Everyone loves to talk about their pets and let's face it - all of our pets have strange habits.

Your cat likes Washington Journal? Evita knows when the movie "Evita" is on TV. When she hears the chants she'll come into the room and look

[snappyturtle]

80. Evita sounds neat! Tell me they're not smart? n/t

[Patiod]

63. No closed doors or rattled plastic bags here either

If a door is closed, she'll through herself against it until someone opens it for her. Even if she really doesn't need or want anything in that room.

It's the principle that counts.

THE LITTLE SAYS: NO CLOSED DOORS!!

[snappyturtle]

79. oh-h-h storybook kitty! They do have mind sets, don't they? n/t

[grace0418]

78. I actually had a piece of artwork commissioned about my cats' likes and dislikes.

You can find all the images here...
http://www.betcher.com/02wallhang/frank_beans/frankbeans.html#

Here's an image of the front of the box, but it has several doors that open and close to reveal the secret quirks of Frank and Beans. All of Frankie's likes and dislikes are on the left and all of Beanie's are on the right. It also depicts the clothing they would wear if they wore human clothes.



I discovered this artist when a friend of mine got a portrait of her dog. I love his artwork so much and he is the nicest guy, too.

[snappyturtle]

81. How wonderful! Going to look at the link now! Thanks.....love the names!

edit: Fun! The artist really personified them.....did he get their personalities right? Or, I suppose you supply ideas...

[grace0418]

83. Thanks! Yeah, there were lots of emails back and forth. He asked what I wanted

to highlight in the piece, then had me tell him all their nicknames, likes and dislikes. He did a fantastic job and everyone who comes to my house freaks out over the work. The only thing not 100% correct is the Mr. Ziplock monster. Frank and Beans are afraid of plastic grocery bags, not Ziplock bags. But Mr. Ziplock was so cute and funny I didn't have the heart to correct the artist. That artwork is one of my most prized possessions.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

31. Milo and Jeoffry have rules.

Milo's Rules:

1. Petting is required on demand. Petting must continue until the pettee decides to walk away.

2. It is required to leave room for him to sit on the chair right next to any watcher of TV. He must always sit on the watcher's right side -- never on the left.

3. He must be fed immediately in the morning. It is not allowed for the feeder to shower or have coffee first.

4. Jeoffry is not allowed to choose which bowl he eats from. If Milo wants to eat from Jeoffry's bowl, Jeoffry is required to move over and eat from the other bowl that Milo does not want to eat from.

Jeoffry's Rules:

1. Sufficient space must be left on top of the refrigerator for napping.

2. The proper response to late-night meowing is to present a hand or arm for him to lick until the flesh is raw.

3. Jeoffry gets first dibs on windowsill space.

[Bjornsdotter]

32. Bailey's Rules

Bailey will not eat unless I stay in the room
Bailey will not eat unless I physically touch his food
Bailey will not eat chunky food EVER.....unless it's steak, then chunks are fine
Bailey only eats homemade cookies
Bailey will only eat certain types of food and turn his nose up at what he loved last week; Bailey will however, eat any kind of animal poop he finds outside.

Bailey will own all chairs and couch
Bailey must sit on my lap if I am on the phone (Bailey is a full grown Boxer)
Bailey will bite me in the butt if I'm not listening to his demands
Bailey will "talk" when it's time to go out
Bailey will play Tasmanian devil around my son's feet at all times.

Bailey will sleep in Mr Bjornsdotter's spot if he is out of town
Bailey will sleep in Mr Bjornsdotter's spot if he gets up to use the bathroom
Bailey will sleep in Mr Bjornsdotter's spot when he gets up in the morning
Bailey will (if he must) sleep between me and Mr Bjornsdotter on his back, paws in the air, jowls hanging (remember Bailey is a full grown Boxer)
Bailey will confiscate all blankets on cold nights
Bailey owns all the shoes in the house and loafer tassels quack at the sound of his name as do my bras
When Bailey is bored the dirty laundry basket is a wonderful place to find new "toys"
Bailey is the only dog on the block with his own pool, maintained daily by his personal pool helper (me)

Bailey is my baby and all family members know that...Bailey rules the house.

:toast:

[LynneSin]

36. I meant to ask you - are you Icelandic?

I have a friend from college with that 'dotter' in her last name and she explained to me the whole icelandic naming convention (she was from Iceland, I'm sure other countries do the same thing)

[idgiehkt]

33. fun thread

Chicken Little (or 'Little Chicken', most of the time) doesn't like to be petted with people's hands because he thinks he's going to get put in his cage. He only tolerates kisses on the top of his head. He can't stand for any new items of sufficient size to be brought onto 'his' porch or the cabin, it really disturbs him and takes him days to get over his fear of the new 'roomate'. I recently hung up a blanket over the window with a picture of a parrot on it and he wouldn't come into the bedroom for 3 days so I had to hang it upside down and that seemed to break the giant parrot spell.

Timothy, the mini-lop rabbit, is getting crotchetier by the month it seems. You may not stick your hand in his cage and move his food dish or do any adding or subtracting of items while he's in there, it pisses him off and he will make his little spitting noises and thump and jump around. He reacts the same way to the broom or the floor or the vacuum, he considers them invasion of turf. He never wants to be petted unless he all of a sudden does and then he demands your undivided attention and continuous petting, usually about 2 or 3 in the morning, giving little nibbles if I fall back asleep while I'm supposed to be petting him. Other than that he lives under the bed and doesn't come out during the day except go in his cage and eat or do his business, so he asks not to be bothered during the daytime hours. He goes out onto the screen porch at night when it is cool.

My dogs are laid back in comparison but the hard and fast rule is under no circumstances do you mess with the female's ears. She growled at the vet in May when I took them for their yearly check up, because she saw the vet clean the male's ears. The one time she bit me was years ago when I tried to clean her ears. They stay clean by themselves somehow (she is a really hardy little dog) and she hates for anyone to mess with them.

[Roon]

34. My cats

.When I get up at night to go to the bathroom,I must make sure the food bowl is full.
.When I go outside to sit on the porch, Barney must come with me.
.After I pick up Daniel and hold her for awhile, I must put her down when she starts purring.

Daniel is so funny, she is like, "maybe if I start purring, they'll put me down" LOL

[Skittles]

35. you cannot point at Riff Raff

it outrages him and he attacks :o

[idgiehkt]

37. is this the one that is in love with the calendar cat?

I saved that pic, it is so cute. :)

[Skittles]

38. yes

he is a freaking psycho :D

[havocmom]

39. 90 Pound Hound rule: All your socks are belong to me

But, he does not actually chew any that do not have a knot in them, meaning: worn out with holes, now an official dog toy. He will steal good socks and make us chase him, but he only chews 'naughty socks'

The cat has quite a list but the short version is:
I am lord master of all I view and anybody who disagrees is gonna bleed. She is still a work in progress. But she does respond to several verbal commands.

Then there is one hour a day when she is She Who Must Be Played With... or the big dog gets it.

[Digit]

41. My kitty sleeps under the covers facing me, so she demands half the pillow...

Everytime she gets up to go scratch herself, she expects a round of ear rubs and cheek caresses when she comes back.
She lets me know when she is back by tapping me on the nose to lift up the covers.

My parrot has a routine when I try to get her out of the cage.
She will jump on the cage door, then present the back of her head to be kissed, then she will get into another position, and I am to kiss her yet again.
In all, I have to kiss her majesty about 4 times before she will come out.


I am soooo owned......

[bridgit]

42. Tim is a rescue kitty so only has one rule...

"always be wary cause you never know when it's going to go bad"

[idgiehkt]

46. awwww...

bless his little wary heart. I know what you mean, the rescues are special. All mine are rescues too. Great picture. :hug: :loveya:

That is one nice-looking cat tree in the background. :)

[bridgit]

48. isn't he handsome, he's my Timmy Peeper Cat, hubby insisted on that tree...

and placed it right there so Tim can use it to get up to a ledge that he built in the window above that runs across the head of our bed :hi:

[EFerrari]

43. Yes. Just one simple one: Obey.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

44. Tails does not sit on laps until after the morning feeding.

No exceptions.

[Rob H.]

45. My parents' cat Polly's rules

1. If there is any cloth of any kind--towel, blanket, t-shirt, etc.--on your lap, you will let Polly crawl under it and stay there at least long enough to for her take a brief nap.

2. During the winter, Polly will sleep underneath the covers next to your side. No exceptions.

3. During the day, Polly will sleep in the center of the bed under the bedspread. Preferably the bed will be made.

4. 6 to 6:30 p.m. is lap time. Your lap must be made available for Polly to snuggle in, so don't even think about getting up and walking around, or worse, activities that require you to be standing. If you are seated at the computer at the beginning of lap time, Polly reserves the right to sit on the desk between the monitor and the keyboard, blocking your view and staring at you until you take the hint already, foolish human.

5. You may pick Polly up and carry her around as long as you like, but if the you remain stationary for more than 5.5 seconds, you will put Polly down or she will squirm until you comply.

[astral]

47. My Big Bad Male Cat is the BOSS

-- if I'm not up at 4:00 am, he will wake me by putting his face up to mine, and if the stare-down doesn't work quickly enough, putting his nose right up against my face, gently reminding me it is time to Feed The Cat.
-- I am allowed to go to the bathroom before Feeding the Cat, but the coffee pot must wait til after breakfast is served!
-- Cat always follows me to the bathroom to supervise my business the whole time I'm in there, at least, first thing in the morning (after all I am not awake yet nor have I had any coffee!). He greets me in the bathroom with another "good morning" chirp, which requires a reply and an affectionate pulling of his tail (from the throne, of course!). He will then politely look the other way while sitting at my feet supervising my business.
-- Cat then tells me lots of things about how he looks forward to breakfast and how wonderful this time of the morning is. (He is alot more talkative in the morning than I am.)

-- after work -- it is waaay past time to feed the cat and to give cat-snuggles. Cat-snuggles require picking up cat, telling him how wonderful he is and how much I have missed him, and waltzing around the house with him in my arms, singing him the Cat Song.
-- After dinner is served (cat-dinner, that is!) it is LapCat Time just as soon as I am sitting down without a plate in front of me.

(yes, I have managed to make one human rule: No Lap-Cat Time until After Human Servant Has Eaten Dinner!)

-- If the Lap needs to move from underneath the LapCat, first an explanation is necessary, along with a warning that I have to move the cat, to which the cat pretends he didn't hear a word of it. Then I GENTLY pick up the cat and LAY him on the couch, and Cat rewards me with a growl in between purrs to show his displeasure. If I Move the Cat without following this proper ritual he gets pissed.

-- We are still in negotiations about the "Wet Cat On The Lap" rule. He knows when he is a Wet Cat (meaning No LapCat) but there is some dispute between the parties as to at what point in time he is no longer Wet Cat and can therefore IMMEDIATELY become LapCat.

[LynneSin]

51. Cat Song - what are the lyrics to Cat Song

:shrug:

[grace0418]

75. I don't know the lyrics to Cat Song but Frankie has tons of theme songs.

Usually the lyrics involve his chubby belly. Lately my husband found this great song by a band that Norah Jones is in (I can't remember the name of the band). It's called "Roly-Poly" and it is Frankie's latest theme song. We dance around the kitchen together when that one comes on.

"...Roly Poly! Daddy's little fatty. Fatty's gonna be a man someday!" :)

[TorchTheWitch]

49. your busoms are mine and other Kujo rules...

1. Your busoms belong to me. I love busoms, so I get to play with yours or anyone else's whenever I want. You must also submit to a busom inspection periodically at random moments of my chosing. Any and all guests will be subjected to busom inspection as well. This includes male guests. When I can't find any busoms on any male guest I reserve the right to climb under their shirts to be sure they aren't hiding any tiny little busoms under there.

2. I get to embarrass you whenever I please. If this means that when out walking I decide in the middle of the road that I wish to discontinue the walk and lay down in protest holding up traffic and inciting jokes from passersby or rummaging through your laundry for a pair of your panties that I will gleefully present to one of your guests even if it is your own mother, so be it.

3. I will not drink water from anything other than the bathtub. I will either drink directly from the faucet or you can fill the tub with water daily for my drinking purposes. If you attempt to force me to drink from a bowl, I will sniff at it disdainfully, give you a dirty look, turn around and sit my big hairy ass in it.

4. Whenever you come in the house regardless if you have been gone at work for hours or only gone for two minutes to get the mail or take out the trash you will be subjected to hysterical jumping, dancing, licking and other obvious demonstrations of affection for as long as I please, and I don't care if you have just returned from the supermarket and icecream is melting... you must wait patiently until I decide I have finished showing you how desperately I missed you.

5. When I want your attention regardless of where you are or what you are doing I will fling my large self on top of you and wipe slobber all over your face. If the result of my actions cause your chair to tip over or crush your lungs so you can't breath, too bad.

6. Your hind end is fair game. Whenever you lean over to tie your shoes or pick something up off the floor I will consider this a sign that your are presenting your hind end for my inspection and will vigorously assess your rear even if my vigorous inspection causes you to fall on your face or down the stairs. I also reserve the right to inspect your hind end at any time and under any circumstances at any moment of my chosing.

7. The stairs are mine, but I will allow you to go up them unimpeaded. However, whenever you wish to go down the stairs I will impead your progress however I see fit including jumping in front of you and blocking your disent or eating your feet.

8. Whenever you go up the stairs carrying food while wearing sweatpants, I reserve the right to yank down your pants so you can't go either up or down without placing said food within my reach at which time I will claim said food.

9. There will be no reading of books or watching of tv without my intrusion. Whenever you read a book or watch tv, I reserve the right to climb on you, sit on you or otherwise annoy you with my large and heavy presence.

10. When riding in the car I reserve the right to position myself so that my hind end is directly in your face and pass wind.

[LynneSin]

52. Geez, how big is this dog

Sounds like you're living with Marmaduke

[Blue Diadem]

50. With Grandkitty..we must not raise our voice.

He's hilarious..we can not raise our voices. Any loudness results in him running to the person who is loud and sticking his head in their mouth! One day DH and I were arguing in the kitchen at the table and he leaped on the table and ran between us looking in our mouths. Stopped us immediately because we were too busy laughing to remember what we were arguing about.

He is to be informed of all arrivals of guests especially babies. He doesn't understand little crying beings and would prefer to stay in seclusion while they're here. Of course, he also likes to be informed of when they leave so he can check out exactly where they've been in his house.

You may pet him when he wishes..two or three strokes is sufficient. Otherwise, you will get the lick/kiss two times, then the paw wrap..then the bite. Do not walk away from him when he is rubbing on your legs, he will run and trip you so he can complete the process. Do not attempt to hurry into the bathroom without first allowing him to run in there with you and stretch in the doorway.

Do not disturb him when he is sleeping upside down with belly exposed.

He is to have treats two times a day. Being forgetful is not an excuse and will result with his attempts to open the pantry door. If he should be successful, the pouch of treats will be thrown to the floor and torn to bits resulting in a mess for forgetful humans to clean up.

[Roon]

68. I went to a friends house to watch a football game once

and every time I hooted or hollered, his cat would swipe at me and hiss.

[graywarrior]

53. Kamere's Rules

1. Kamere must be picked up first thing in the morning by BOTH of us for approx 3 minutes each, after which time he is ready to get down and run for his bowl.

2. Kamere will "tolerate" being patted for approximately 5 minutes, and then viciously turns on the petter and attacks mercilessly.

3. Kamere must be let out to the lanai and back into the house no less than 100 times per evening while we are watching Olbermann.

4. Kamere will only crap in the litter box immediately after it has been cleaned, which means he takes a crap 4 to 5 times per day.

5. Kamere meows, no. . .howls...at your feet to be picked up and when you bend over to get him, he runs way. He does this ALL DAY LONG.

6. Kamere's biggest rule is complete domination over us, control our lives and force us to sometimes live in sub-standard conditions because the renter allows pets. We are fucking doomed by his fucking rules.

[ccjlld]

54. Tucker's Rules

Tucker must be let outside whenever he requests. Failure to comply with the request will result in bites to the arms or legs or the removal of any object on the beside table, the coffee table, or the kitchen counter.

Any weather that prevents Tucker from going outside must be stopped! If it requires opening the door 30 times in 10 minutes, the human servant must comply.

If the weather in question is snow, the male servant must use the snow shovel to clean the patio and deck so that Tucker will not have to place his paws in the awful snow.

In the unfortunate event that Tucker is caught outside during rainy weather, the human servants must bring an umbrella outide to retrieve Tucker. He then must be complete dried off with a fluffy towel.

If Tucker is returning from exploring the neighborhood, the human servants must open the gate befor Tucker will return to the backyard. Tucker does not require the gate to be opened to leave the backyard.

Any bag brought into Tucker's kingdom, must be placed on the floor for Tucker's inspection.

The female servant is not allowed to enter the back yard without Tucker going along

The female servant is not allowed to remain in the back yard once Tucker returns inside.

Tucker must be fed immediately after coming inside in the morning. Tucker then must be fed a second breakfast while the human servants are preparing lunch bags. This second breakfast must consist of the meat that they are making their sandwiches with.

All cereal bowls and ice cream bowls must be inspected by Tucker before they are placed in the sink. If sufficient leftovers are not present in the bowls, loud howls will ensue.

When Tucker presents his belly, the human servants must rub said belly. The human servants must also rub the belly even if Tucker is performing the Venus Fly Trap maneuver.

If Tucker is meowing at the wall, the human servant must pick him up and hold him as high up the wall as possible. Tucker must be allowed to inspect the wall near the ceiling.

The bed is the sole domain of Tucker. At his discretion, Tucker may allow the human servants to share 1/2 of the bed. The other 1/2 belongs to Tucker.

[Wcross]

55. I must ALWAYS follow Buddy- He will guide me to my destination.

Of course it involves a lot of stopping so Buddy can look back to see where I want to go.

[Kajsa]

56. Exit strategy----

Nemo and Darwin must have the humans open and shut the
doors to let them in/out of the house.

That damn pet door is simply too much work.
It will do in an emergency.

All sources of water are to be used before
drinking out of the kitty fountain.
Forget pouring any cleaning agents in the toilet bowl.
Humans don't need a sparkling toilet bowl- kitties need water.

After the humans leave the house, all tables, counters, bookcases
and electronics are fair game for exploration.

The human rules left the house when they did.

;-)

[I Have A Dream]

57. Kicking because I love this thread.

:bounce:

[LynneSin]

58. I do too

We're all just a bunch of suckers for our pets

But they're so adorable and give me so much happiness - it's worth it

[TZ]

59. I freely admit...

I am kitty whipped!:D
And this is a great thread LynnSin!

[LynneSin]

60. you and I are not alone

btw, Evita decided she wanted petting time at 4:30am.

I kept trying to ignore her but there is no ignoring Evita. So I instead opted for the 2 hand approach and she ran away

[Patiod]

61. My friend's Corgi had one rule: "No cats on the floor"

Which the cat constantly tested, of course.

The corgi would sit with his back to the cat, and she would come down from the back of the sofa, and cautiously place a paw on the floor. Right away, the Corgi would turn and run after her, barking like a crazed thing, as the cat scampered back to safety.

It was a relatively small apartment, crammed with windowsills and bookcases and other furniture, so the cat could navigate the entire place without getting on the floor. My friend fed her on the counter in the kitchen, and god knows how the litterbox worked.

But the corgi was vigilant in keeping the House Rule.

[xchrom]

64. kick

[ChickMagic]

65. Oh yes, our masters have their petty demands.

The late, sweet Bonnie would demand to sit on my lap when I was perched on the toilet, but would refuse to do so at any other time.

The late, sweet Bonnie demanded to dry me off after my bath. With her tongue, of course. She only got the shoulder.

The old man, Axl, will not allow me to go to work until he can put one of his toys in my purse. If he's mad at me, his toy goes in his food bowl or water bowl.

The old man, Axl, demands I stay home from work by standing on my legs while I'm still sitting on the couch gathering my stuff.

Both cats refused to allow us to observe weekend mornings. The late, sweet Bonnie would get in derby's face, standing on his chest and bray as though she was an alarm clock.

Our bird must eat when we do.

[jgraz]

66. My bird has several

• The first food bowl is not the true bowl. The true bowl may only be found by chasing your brother away from his bowl.


• One is never more awake as when one is being put to bed.


• Clothing cannot find enlightenment until beak-holes have been poked in it.


• The end of the journey is not the reward. The nut after the end of the journey is the reward.


• If a parrot screams when Daddy is not on the phone, does he really make a sound?


• The value of the poo is only as great as the cost of the fabric on which it lands.


• Bite not the hand that feeds you. However, the hand that tries to get you off the drapes is fair game.

[hyphenate]

76. Lessee....

Jean-Luc:

You may not--ever--pick JL up. You will end up with mangled arms, otherwise.
You cannot go toward him fast--for some reason, he becomes skittish and runs away. (I've had him since he was a kitten, and he's never been abused (other than a tap on the nose) so I don't understand his neuroses)
You must speak back to him when he's talking, and answer him (he must have Siamese in him somewhere, because he will hold conversations with you)


Garibaldi:

When he croons at you, you have to pet him
He will tap you if you stop patting him too soon (I'm trying to break him of using his claws when he taps your arm--it's annoying to have so many scratch marks otherwise)
Feed him (He is now about 25 lbs, and could stand to lose about 10 of them. He looks like one of those balloon animals with the huge bulge in the middle right now)
You can scratch his tummy, but only for a short while
You might have to give him a heave-ho with your foot if he's blocking your path--he doesn't understand "get out of my way!!"


Delenn:

She wants to sleep on your lap all the time (but I need to clip her claws--I've got scratches everywhere)
If you're having cereal, give her some milk
She rubs her jaw on you all the time and drools, but she must do it on you, not on anything else
She's the smallest and thinnest, but she'll be damned if she lets any of the boys outeat her
She must sleep on the bathroom floor
She is mistress of the household, and don't you forget it!


Oliver:

Give him an open window (with screen, natch!) and he is the happiest soul on earth
Let him out, and he is the happiest soul on earth! (Doesn't happen--he's an indoor cat, only!)
If he hears you leaving the house, he rushes to the door to try to get out anyhow!
He must explore every room in the house, all the time
He must sleep by my head, next to the night table and lamp. If he cannot sleep there, he won't bother to sleep with you otherwise
If you try to patronize him, he knows it, and looks at you like you're a dirty bird.


My children! And people think kids are spoiled!!

[libnnc]

77. Tipper *demands* that the blinds on the livingroom window

be open for her royal fatness to enjoy the sunshine.

Also, she will *not* tolerate her bowl to be empty at *any* time especially at 5:00 am.

When she brings one of several of her toys (elastic hair band) to your feet, you are to *promptly* shoot it across the room for her to chase (this is especially the case if you are on the toilet or preoccupied on the computer).

She may or may not fetch the toy...that act is at her discretion. If she does *fetch* it, she will only bring it half-way to you. Of course you should feel grateful that she's interested in *fetching* at all. She's a cat. That sort of behavior is demeaning.

Deal.

[BreweryYardRat]

82. Do not pet Lolly's stomach, 9 times out of 10.

Do not pick up OC.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

84. Some more rules that Milo and Jeoffry reminded me of:

Cat Rules of Bathrooms:

1. No human may occupy a bathroom for more than 30 seconds unless accompanied by at least one cat.

2. When the human has finished taking a shower, said human must immediately ensure that no standing water is left in the bathtub in order that a cat can lap water from the bathtub without getting the fur on the tops of his paws wet.

3. If the human shuts the bathroom door so as to prevent a cat from entering, the human must open the door immediately upon seeing a cat paw slide underneath it.

4. Humans must not attempt to prevent a cat from staring unblinkingly at them while they are sitting on the "throne."

5. Humans must not attempt to remove a cat from the bathroom sink until said cat desires to remove himself. Additionally, humans who are in the process of brushing their teeth must not spit toothpaste on any cat who is occupying the sink.

[I Have A Dream]

85. Any others? I don't have pets, and this is showing me an entirely...

different world! :D