Just got off the phone with one of my many gay male friends,

[Critters2]

and it made me wonder....


First, if you're gay, do you have a fag hag...you know, a Grace to your Will?

And for everyone, why do you think I and people like me are fag hags?

I'm just curious as to your thinking. I quit really pondering this issue a long time ago. I actually went to therapy at one point to figure out why I'm attracted to gay guys. Then one day in therapy I said, "These guys are so good to me" and it struck me...I was trying to get cured of relationshipw with people who cared about me. Had I lost my mind?! So, I told my therapist that would be my last session, called too queer friends, went out for drinks, and never looked back.

Still, when I tell people I'm a fruit fly, I get lots of interesting reactions.

What's yours?

[mzteris]

1. hey -

there was a time nearly 25 years ago when I spent a great deal of time with a group of gay/lesbians that I met by accident (some joker thought it would be funny to send me to a gay club when I asked where was a great place to go dance. I was new in town.)

It was - ironically - just after I'd divorced my first husband. (Ironically because he came out of the closet about 4 years later!)

I was so comfortable with them because they just let me be ME. I never had to doubt what anyone said because I wasn't trying to figure out their "motivations" (i.e. "getting me in the sack". Well there was that one woman who, oh - never mind... lol) - anyways.

It was very good for me, my self esteem, learning to feel comfortable in my own skin. Come to think of it, I could use a good strong dose of gay friends about now. I've forgotten all over again how to be ME. Heck, I'm not even sure who "ME" is anymore. :( (But I digress...)

My daughter has many gay/lesbian friends. She's been called 'faghag' a whole hell of a lot. (I don't really like the term, though.) She practically grew up in a gay household - every summer at her dad's - so she feels very comfortable in that community. She has her "Will" and has nearly moved in with him several times but hasn't just due to logistics of where he lived in DC and where she worked, etc. She dates straight guys - but they always seem to let her down in the end. Is it really unreasonable to expect a straight guy to act like a "real man" and not a self-absorbed you-know-what??? (oops off I go on a tangent again)

[stuntcat]

2. I'm that way but I've never known why

I'm just weird? All my closest friends are gay (not that I have many friends, but..) and I'm not committed 100% to being either way but now I'm married which means I'm officially straight. My best friend is The Gayest but also we were each other's first boyfriend & girlfriend when we were teens. He's strange because he didn't come out until he was 22 or 23, after everyone kinda knew ever since he was a little kid, you know how sometimes there're those kids who seem different as soon as they learn to talk. But then we both cut loose and moved to NYC a few years and went kinda crazy. Now he lives in San Fran so he's far away but the space doesn't matter :)

I told him last night about that Craig saying "I'm not gay" over and over and he thought it was just as stupid as I do.