Least funny human being attempting to work in the field of comedy

[Orrex]

[Archae]

1. Lately, Dennis Miller.

I mean, I never really thought much of him, and now that he's "graduated" to right-wing water carrier, he's lost what little funny he had.

[zanne]

27. I think he's in the process of morphing....

Before the Republican Party took over our government, Dennis Miller had some left-leaning "jokes". As soon as Bush got in, Dennis seized the opportunity to become a right-wing hack. Now he'll have to join the rest of the "opportunity" crowd and become liberal again.

[LostInAnomie]

51. Delete

wrong spot

[Faygo Kid]

99. Yep. Sucked on Monday Night Football, too.

Dennis Miller has sucked at everything he has done. So, he became a right wing nut job. They like people who suck, and Dennis sucks big time.

[Tektonik]

2. I don't know how anyone can be worse than

Carlos Mencia, Jay Leno and Adam Sandler

[philosophie_en_rose]

10. Colin Quinn.

I win.

[Richardo]

26. Colin Quinn, Ron White, Jim Breuer

Are just my top 3.

[Common Sense Party]

3. What's his name? Dane Cook? Please.

I'll take a bad Kevin Nealon skit any day over that spastic Cook guy.

[Orrex]

4. I just endured Nealon hosting "The World's Funniest Commercials"

Everything about him was so poignantly unfunny that I can't why he's allowed to roam the streets as a free man. Every word out of his mouth sounds like a joke told by your friend who can't tell a joke.

Dane Cook is a mere fledgling; when he's been screamingly unamusing for as long as Nealon has, and to the extent that Nealon has, we'll talk.

[jobycom]

88. Holy CRAP! Dane Cook is a COMEDIAN?

Wow, that explains so much.

[Common Sense Party]

91. ALLEGEDLY. n/t

[DS1]

5. Jimmy Fallon

Useless

[rucky]

31. If he didn't laugh at his own jokes...

nobody would.

[mitchum]

42. Hell, they're not even his own jokes. He's so pathetic, he has to have someone else...

write that garbage for him.

[DarkTirade]

35. Every now and then you laugh at Jimmy Fallon

not always for the reason he intends, but every now and then. Can't say the same for Nealon.

[FloridaJudy]

6. Adam Sandler

Lenny Bruce was obscene, and funny as hell. Adam Sandler is obscene and obnoxious.

[DS1]

9. He used to be my first choice

but Fallon sucks harder than Sandler squared

[Richard Steele]

92. I'll second that! nm

[EFerrari]

7. Get OUT! Kevin is hilarious.

Shame on you. Pth!

[southerncrone]

8. GWB.

[liberalhistorian]

11. Actually, Jerry Seinfeld takes the cake, hands down!

There is absolutely nothing at all funny about him, never was and never will be. Never, ever understood his fame and popularity and never will. He doesn't deserve to earn ten cents from his comedy, let alone the millions he's raked in.

And Larry the Fucking Cable Guy takes a very close second, nothing at all funny about that idiot redneck wannabe, either.

[Critters2]

14. Oh, yeah, that Larry guy. Dirt is funnier than him. Way funnier. nt

[Frank Cannon]

24. I never, ever understood the popularity of Jerry Seinfeld

He always reminded me of a younger, less funny version of Andy Rooney.

I think I've seen about five episodes of Seinfeld. I just couldn't make it past Jerry's constant smirking at his own jokes.

[mzteris]

32. I'm with you.

I couldn't stand that show - or him.

I never understood why it/he was so "popular".

[mitchum]

39. As a stand up, Seinfeld really does have astonishing technique...

it's just that his material was really not that good.
I always think of Seinfeld and Bill Hicks as polar opposites. Hicks had some great material, but his delivery was piss poor. Lots and lots of rambling, clumsy timing, etc...
Now, the Seinfeld TV show was a different story. Especially when the great Larry David was writing the material.

[mitchum]

40. Cook, the Blue Collar trio, O'Donnell, Sinbad, Garafolo, Black...

and many more.
Suck...thy name is legion.

[PeaceNikki]

30. oooo, changing mine to "Larry the Fucking Cable Guy".

:shudder:

[liberalhistorian]

50. He's even worse than Jerry! I hate it when he says

"that's funny, I don't care who you are!" Well, um, no, coming from you it sure AIN'T funny! And what's with the signature line, which basically amounts to "complete the task" (get 'er done). It's more interesting to watch paint dry at an office meeting!

[Tektonik]

36. I never liked Jerry's standup,

but the show was amazingly funny.

[Ishoutandscream2]

46. Absolutely

At the beginning of the show, Jerry would do some sort of stand up, and I would think, "that is terrible." But the show itself was excellent.

[liberalhistorian]

49. My teenage son LOVES Jerry, and it drives him

absolutely crazy that I can't stand him and have never thought him the least bit funny. I told him he'll understand it better when he gets older! :evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

12. 3-way tie: Jack Black, Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia.

[alphafemale]

13. Andrew Dice Clay.

'nuf said

[DS1]

15. I liked him

when I was 13

now he's just an ass. Still, he's better than Jimmy Fallon

[Critters2]

16. Is he still breathing? nt

[MilesColtrane]

17. Dane Cook

He steals the best bits from other comedians and he's STILL NOT FUNNY!

[Danger Mouse]

18. Eddie fucking Izzard and Carlos Menstealia.

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. Eddie is GOD!

Prepare to die.

[Danger Mouse]

33. I know. I know. People LOVE Eddie Izzard.

The only person I know who hates Izzard besides myself is my friend Alan.
I'm sorry, I just don't find him funny.

[Mojambo]

77. I don't get him either. n/t

[Tektonik]

34. Izzard is one of the best!

:cry:

[Danger Mouse]

84. I can't stand him...it's all 'oh look how CLEVER I am and I am stroking the egos of my audience...

with my clever humor!'
Some of his material is good, but his delivery sucks. Just can't stand it.
If I want to watch a smarmy prick, I'll watch Hannity.

[mitchum]

44. Good call on Izzard...his schtick is just Oscar Wilde with a massive head injury

[Danger Mouse]

83. Excellent! I'm going to remember that one! Thanks!

:pals:

[fizzgig]

65. how did i just know these would be your picks?

mencia can talk a long walk, but my love for eddie will never die

[MysticalChicken]

71. Agree on Carlos, but...

I fucking love Eddie Izzard.

[Maccagirl]

20. Andy Dick

The aptly named jerk.

[Heidi]

57. Couldn't agree more. (nt)

[JVS]

61. he rules!

[Mojambo]

74. Nah. Andy Dick may be incredibly disturbed, but he's crazy funny.

At least, IMHO.

His work on Newsradio is quite underrated.

[Fox Mulder]

21. Jim Carrey.

:puke:

[AngryAmish]

22. Carrot Top

Leader in the clubhouse.

[recoveringdittohed]

23. The comedian, Rush Limbaugh

The worst comedian in the Wooooooooorld.

[Danger Mouse]

85. He's hilarious!

Just not in the way he intends to be...

[Dirty Hippie]

25. Sarah Sliverman

[zanne]

28. I don't think I'm young enough to "get" her.

She's in the "mean is funny" crowd.

[mitchum]

45. "Mean is funny" is not young, but the OLDEST technique...

in Judeo- Christian mythology, the first murderer made the first wisecrack-- "What? Am I my brother's keeper?"

[JVS]

60. She's funny

[PeaceNikki]

29. Obviously you don't watch "Weeds" on Showtime. Nealon is VERY funny on that show.

My vote is Robin Williams. Or Dane Cook.

[MrCoffee]

37. Nealon is hilarious on Weeds.

"I'm Councilman Doug!"

[Orrex]

64. In fact, you're correct; I don't watch it

But is Nealon recognizably Nealon on that show?

If so, then my original assertion stands!

[bbernardini]

38. Carlos Mencia.

He's so unfunny, people booed him and walked out at one of the Opie & Anthony comedy tour shows.

[Schema Thing]

63. I think James Randi should offer a 1 million dollar reward

to anyone who can present evidence that Carlos Mencia has ever said anything funny.

and the same for Dane Cook.

[Seabiscuit]

41. Ann Coulter.

Seriously - she wants described herself as a comedian.

[begin_within]

66. She doesn't count, because the OP specified "human being"

[Seabiscuit]

79. Oops. Arrrrrrghhh! Choke!!!! Dayam!!!! You're right! She's a lizard!

[begin_within]

80. I hope lizards won't take offense.

[ashling]

43. Conan O'Brien

followed closely by Jay Leno

[AnotherGreenWorld]

70. Conan is hilarious...

[Arugula Latte]

86. Conan? Whaaa?

I love his show (although admittedly it took a couple years after it started for me to start to appreciate it)

[Auggie]

47. It's Tom Arnold!

[Hand]

48. (Sigh) No... no... no...

It's a draw between Emo Philips and Yakov Smirnoff. Glad that's settled. Gad! Must I do everything around here? :hide:

[JVS]

59. In Soviet Russia, Emo Philips and Yakov Smirnoff draw YOU!

[LostInAnomie]

52. One that hasn't been said yet: Robin Williams

Acting like a over caffeinated wang does not equal funny.

[SPKrazy]

53. wrong!

comedic genius is Robin Williams

he's bipolar so I don't know that he is "acting" I think he gets a little manic and is hilarious. Improvisationist extraordinaire in my opinion!

[mitchum]

54. But it needed to be said (because it's true)

[JVS]

55. No but you have to give credit to the man who was able to do enough coke to kill 10 horses.

[mitchum]

69. Pity that he didn't do enough to kill one scenery-chewing ham

[Taverner]

56. Marty Daniels, Christian Comedian

[JVS]

58. Martin Short, what's his fucking deal!

[Skittles]

68. I never understood that show where he was in a fat suit

why was he in a fat suit???

[jgraz]

62. So many choices...gotta go with Rob Schneider

[Skittles]

67. Jimmy Kimmel (sp?)

yes

[AnotherGreenWorld]

72. Tie between Dane Cook, Robin Williams, Dana Carvey, Larry the Cable Guy...

and lots of others, too.

[MysticalChicken]

73. Carlos Mencia

I don't trust anyone who finds him funny.

[Wapsie B]

75. Drew Carey

Surprised he hasn't been mentioned yet.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

76. Bob Saget

He's just not funny.

And Sarah Silverman is lame, too.

[MysticalChicken]

78. I recently tried to watch Bob Saget's comedy special

I only lasted about fifteen minutes (I was trying to give him a chance). Not that I'm against swearing by any means, but there is such a thing as swearing too much. He wasn't funny.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

81. He should team up with Sarah Silverman

She's into the trash-mouth thing, too.

[Rosemary2205]

82. Bob Saget with a potty mouth??

Oh now see, THAT'S even funnier than my 8 yr brother screaming him Saget the "fa....t" (rhymes) out the car window.

[MysticalChicken]

89. yeah...

My brother saw Saget's special as well and said "I am never going to be able to watch Full House in the same way again."

It seemed like he was swearing just to swear.

[Arugula Latte]

87. I've never been able to stand Adam Sandler. Add him to the list. nt

[stuntcat]

90. This list makes me wanna VOMIT (mostly)

I'm ashamed that we consider these people comedians.
I was gonna say Dennis Miller but then I see all these other names :puke: :puke: :puke:

The only one of them I like is Eddie Izzard- he's not offensive, and he can act. Hating on him is just silly.

All the rest of them are nasty though.

[WindRavenX]

93. Carlos Mencia--the poor man's Dave Chappelle

:puke:

[sasquatch]

95. Have you seen "September Dawn" yet?

:D

[WindRavenX]

96. ...dare I ask what that is?

:scared:

[sasquatch]

97. It's a movie about the Frontier Mormon massacre in the 1880's

[Left Is Write]

94. Put me down for the very unfunny Colin Quinn.

[Orrex]

98. Well, it's official

I just saw some of that SNL retrospective running on NBC, and they showed a few of Nealon's clips. Not only is he 100% unfunny now; it appears that even at the height of his career he was no funnier.

And as far as the suggestion that Dennis Miller is less funny, I would disclaim that he's attempting to work in some half-assed bastardization of punditish pseudojournalism, rather than comedy, so he doesn't count.

But I agree that, at the apex of his nominal "comedy" career, he was as unfunny as anyone on the planet.

[sanguinivorous]

100. A few people who aren't fucking funny...

-any comedian who can't "turn it off" when somebody tries to make them sit through a serious interview (Robin Williams, Dana Carvey, et al)
-Rita Rudner (prissy-sounding bitch)
-Cheri Oteri
-Sarah Silverman (nice piece of ass, though)
-Richard Lewis (I've been doing his act for years and people tell me to just stop whining and shut the fuck up)
-Dennis Miller

[Orrex]

101. Wow! Those are all great, especially #1

I hate that. Hate it!

I find some of Sarah Silverman's stuff pretty funny, in fact. She did an interview on Fresh Air some months ago, and the excerpts they played made me laugh out loud.

Rita Rudner's been unfunny since at least the first airing of HBO's Women of the Night, hosted by the consistently unfunny Martin Short.