undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:36 PM
Original message |
My co-worker talks to me like I'm dirt |
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not all the time, just when he's in a foul mood like today. So today I told him I didn't like his attitude and he exploded. He went to a manager then I did too and the rest of the day was miserable. I could hear him talking nicely to other people on the phone, but to me he was a total asshole. We have to work together, so apparently he thinks he can get away with it- i.e., I have to put up with it.
We've had one blowup before and he changed his attitude for a few weeks, then it went back to moodiness. I'm fairly new (6 wks) so I hesitate to make too big of a deal about it, but it really upsets me. He's very moody and irritable and he controls it around customers but lets it out around me. Not ok.
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YDogg
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:42 PM
Response to Original message |
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Workplace disharmony sucks, especially when you're on the receiving end of someone's attitude. If your manager is any kind of leader, she/he will at least try to do something to mitigate the situation, but in my experience, assholes seldom change.
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Sequoia
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:45 PM
Response to Original message |
2. One day he's going to slip with a customer and he'll be outta there. |
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Hang in there, being new is tough. If he's not your supervisor I'd have a word with his boss if he keeps it up.
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undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
6. I went right to her with it. |
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The thing is, she stares in disbelief. He is Mr. Charm with her. And I have said that, I know he is charming with you, but the way he talks to me is completely disrespectful- and I give her examples. She can hardly believe it. This is the second time he's really been a total ass to me, although the first time he was an ass for a week. Its going to take a few times before she gets it.
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LoveMyCali
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
10. How does he treat the other people in the department |
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If you haven't already, ask them if he is disrespectful to them too, chances are he is and then you would have some back up if you needed to talk to your supervisor again.
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undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
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Edited on Tue Sep-04-07 07:49 PM by undeterred
but all our co-workers are men except me. I am the only woman he has to deal with who he is not subordinate to. He doesn't seem to like women very much at all.
Edit: Actually, I think some of the men don't get along with him but its more that they think he is full of himself - he doesn't put them down.
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Sequoia
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Wed Sep-05-07 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. Is he one of those good ole boys who think women should be |
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barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
"This is man's work. Why docha go cook me up some grits."
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idgiehkt
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:45 PM
Response to Original message |
3. I'm sorry to hear you are having trouble on your new job |
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You have been through so much with the last one :hug:
I think you should start documenting. Possibly even record one of his explosions but don't tell anyone you are going to do that or that you have done it. Write down everything he says to you. It's really all you can do at this point. Hope it improves
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undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
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and the rest are terrific. Except for my female manager, who is a pretty good manager, I am the only female. I really have to say that except for him its a great team and everyone is smart and very nice. They may not get along perfectly with each other but they do get along with me and we do have fun. We are on teams of 3-4 and the other 2 on my team are great but the best one is getting promoted so asshole may be the team lead. He's smart, but he shouldn't be a supervisor till he grows up. Some days I think it will be ok and nothing bad happens and other days he is in a mood.
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Blue-Jay
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:47 PM
Response to Original message |
4. You don't have to put up with anything from that idiot. |
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Nod and either don't reply at all, or pepper your responses with "That's nice" or "How interesting" or "Wow, I never thought of it that way". He'll burn himself out of snark within a few days, and everyone else will like you better.
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JanMichael
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Tue Sep-04-07 06:49 PM
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5. Think "Hostile Workplace". |
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If so called "management" allows the behavior to continue you may have a case.
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datasuspect
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:21 PM
Response to Original message |
8. my favorite expression: "i don't know who the fuck you think you are, but" |
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in response to that type of situation.
or,
"i don't know who the fuck you think i am, but"
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skygazer
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Wed Sep-05-07 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
16. Or a more subtle version - |
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"I'm sorry, who did you say you thought you were again?"
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Prisoner_Number_Six
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:23 PM
Response to Original message |
9. Get a small digital voice recorder and use it. |
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AND let him KNOW you're using it.
It doesn't even have to be all the time, although you don't have to tell him that- just occasional samples from your discussions. The devices are small and many are easily concealed in one hand, so he'll have to think twice if he knows you have it but doesn't see it.
And if (when) you happen to record something especially obnoxious, then take it to your boss and let her listen to it. Bring your buddy (so to speak) along if you want to keep it above board.
Put up with crap once, and he'll take it as a license to pile it on forever. Don't let him get away with it. He doesn't have that right.
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undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:37 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
11. I should do that, just so she can hear his tone of voice |
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when her little angel speaks to me.
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wildhorses
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:42 PM
Response to Original message |
undeterred
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Tue Sep-04-07 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
guitar man
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Wed Sep-05-07 12:08 PM
Response to Original message |
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to knock it the hell off or you'll slap the taste out of his damned mouth :grr:
NOBODY can be expected to go to work every day and put up with that kind of crap, it just gets too damn miserable after while.... :(
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LisaM
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Wed Sep-05-07 12:09 PM
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18. Does your workplace have a mutual respect policy? n/t |
Ellen Forradalom
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Wed Sep-05-07 12:11 PM
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Your talents are required!
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ThomCat
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Wed Sep-05-07 12:13 PM
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20. I'm very sorry you have to put up with that. |
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I've had co-workers like that too. Be careful. :(
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