THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006

[donheld]

Subject: THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006




SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.


SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.


SMART ASS ANSW ER # 2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop
gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on
his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."









SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised
his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head an d sweetly
says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand."

[Heidi]

1. !

:rofl: :spray:

:kick:

[underpants]

2. "No ma'am, they're dead."

:rofl:

[crim son]

3. Those gave me a good laugh!

Thanks :7

[NewJeffCT]

4. that last one is a classic

where did you get them from? I didn't see a link.

[begin_within]

5. I saw one live...

John Howard, a local sportscaster, does a recurring segment called "Beat the Pro" where a local amateur golfer plays a few holes against a local golf pro. The contestant was a man about 75 years old with a thick eastern European accent. He won, and Howard presented him with his prize on the air.

Howard: Congratulations, you've won a gift certificate for dinner for to at Donovan's Steak House.
Contestant: Thank you.
Howard: You ever been to Donovan's?
Contestant: No.
Howard: Great restaurant. Are you a meat eater or a vegetarian?
Contestant: Both.