Some Bastard at Northern Westchester Hospital asked to see my receipt

[Burma Jones]

when we left with our baby daughter. Really.

There are two stories that go along with that birth. The first is that, at 4:00 am I ran the red light to get into the Hospital Parking lot as I brought my wife to the Hospital. A police car, lights flashing, pulls up next to me as my incredibly obviously pregnant wife is getting out of the car, and informs me that I ran a red light......I pointed to my wife and the officer, one of Mt. Kisco's finest, tells me that I need to park somewhere else and then drives off........We had been living in NY for about a month then.


My daughter was born at about 6:00 am, speedy delivery, I went home at about six that evening to find my 2 year old son sleeping on the floor with a fever of 103 and my Mother In Law cleaning the house because that's what she does when she's stressed. I give the boy some Tylenol and make him some dinner and send my Mother In Law home. At about 10:00 pm, the day of my daughter's birth, I take my son in to the Emergency Room with an Asthma attack - I did not run the red light this time. My son was coughing so hard he threw up as soon as we entered the Emergency Room, I commend him on his timing. As I am talking to the nurse while the ER Doc is treating my boy, the nurse notices the ID wristband on my left arm and asks me what that's doing there, and I say my daughter was born this morning. Anyway, the boy had both ears infected and a virus. As a result, he could not go up and see the baby, and I had to don a mask and gown to visit.....