There's This Bunny Rabbit That Lives Under This Bush In My Front Yard

[MrScorpio]

Bush on the left.

So, I was out getting my mail, when he came out from under the bush and started staring at me. Usually, he scurries off or just runs back into the bush and hides, but today was different. He just stood there. It was the closest I ever got to him.

Surprised at this closeness, I just looked back at him and said, "Hi, Bunny."

I was even more surprised when he replied and said, "My name is not 'Bunny', it's Ralph."

Well you could have knocked me over with a feather at that point, I almost dropped the mail I was holding. So I said, "Uh, hi, Ralph. How are you?"

Now, believe me, it's not an everyday occurrence that one talks to a talking bunny, especially one that's a non-rent paying resident on my property, but you have to admit, when you get a chance to have a conversation with a talking bunny rabbit... Well, you just have the grab the bull by the horns.

Ralph said, "I'm concerned. Do you want to know what about?" I said, "Yeah, sure."

He said, "I'm concerned about you." "Why?", I asked.

Ralph replied, "Because you're a grown man of forty-five and I imagine that you are fully in control of your facilities, but you're outside of your house, having a conversation with a talking rabbit."

I looked into his black, beady eyes and said," Do all rabbits speak in run-on sentences?"

He said, "Only the ones named 'Ralph'".

So I told him, "Thanks for the concern, Ralph, but I don't know how your concern can help me. I mean, there's a bit of a paradox here: I'm talking to a rabbit, which could be nothing more than an illusion. Yet, the possibly illusionary rabbit is concerned that I'm hallucinating this entire event."

Ralph said, "Well true, this may be an, according to Hoyle, psychotic episode smack dab out of the pages of the DSM-IV-TR... But you're have to admit, if you're going to talk to a rabbit, at least you can talk to one that can hold a conversation."

Then it struck me, that's why he's talking to me, I initiated this entire event by first talking to a rabbit that, at that time, I had no realistic expectation that he'd reply to me.

Ralph then said, "I can see from the look on your face that you've figured it out. Grown men shouldn't try to initiate conversations with animals that can't talk back to them. It's not natural." Then he turned around and started to go back to his hiding place. I imagined that he grew tired of talking to.. me.

"Yes, you're right, Ralph. So will we be talking again?", I asked.

He looked back and shook his bunny head with bunny disdain and said, "I don't think so... This is that last time that we'll speak. You take care of yourself, OK?"

I said, "I will and you do so too."

Then I walked back into my house and opened my mail. All junk.

Better than bills.

[Wcross]

1. I wish Angel had waited until AFTER the bunny delivered its message!

[MrScorpio]

2. Rabbit Hate Crime Time

I imagine Ralph wouldn't like that

[Wcross]

3. Angel has gone over, she can no longer be prosecuted.

Yes, Ralph would find the situation troubling. Angel just liked to chase things and sometimes she caught them.

[MrScorpio]

4. I just went out to get mail, and Ralph was out there by the bush again

Our eyes barely met, and we didn't say a word to each other.

I guess we've come to an "understanding".

[krispos42]

5. The leaves are already changing where you are?

Wow.

Oh, by the way, you're 6 posts away from 25,000

[MrScorpio]

6. That's an old picture for reference

I just wanted to point out the location of Ralph's bush


Thanks for pointing out the post count. I didn't even bother to keep track.


Maybe I ought to do something special for it.

[krispos42]

7. Ah, okay. I was gonna say...

I'm in Minnesota and the leaves are all green! Where are you, Alaska?!?!?

:-)

Maybe Ralph has some ideas for a special post... :-)

[redqueen]

8. That bunny lied to you.

I love talking to living things whether they can respond or not. So there!

I'll tell that lying Ralph a thing or two! *shakes fist*

[texas1928]

9. Folks we have an announcement...

Stay away from the brown acid, there is something wrong with it. So if you are passed a brown sugar cube, don't do it. You will see talking rabbits.


That is all, please return to normal DU Lounge behavior.

[lost-in-nj]

10. RRiiGGGGHHTTTT

:scared: :scared: :scared:
everyone knows bunnies don't talk.....

ppffftttt It was the squirrel in the tree using him
as his ventriloquist dummy,,,,

thats why he said you won't talk any more.....
because the squirrel won't be there every time the rabbit sticks his head out....


fooled you once....


lost





:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[MrScorpio]

11. Looks like Ralph has a house guest over today

Just what I need, a hutch of yapping rabbits


Too bad I don't have a digital video cam... We'd all get to see some amateur buuny porn