Ex-wife rears her lovely head.

[crim son]

He's been divorced for years from the wife. Their relationship has been barely cordial. Suddenly she becomes aware of me and she calls him. To ask how he's doing. He tells me she never does that, not in ten years.

Men don't let go of their wives, do they? Not even after ten years. I'm screwed.

Just mumbling.
P.S. She's beautiful. When he met her she was a nurse AND an exotic dancer. I'm unemployed and have an impaired sense of rhythm, not to mention the body of an old woman.

[jgraz]

1. Jesus, I let go of mine after ten minutes

It's an oldie but a goodie: if he's the one for you, you have nothing to worry about. If he isn't, best you find out now.

:hi:

(now every time I see a post from you, I want a bourbon. Bad trend to start)

[crim son]

4. ooooh, good idea!

But it will have to wait until tomorrow!

Of course you're right; if he isn't, best I find out right now. The thing is, they're always in love with me, and then they... Fuck it. I do believe the male of the species has a strange idea of love anyway. Hi, jgraz! :hi:

[jgraz]

9. our *entire* species has a strange view of love

Hell, if it was easy, everybody'd be doing it.

[crim son]

10. Damn, nothing is easy.

Even eating a Snickers bar causes emotional angst. Please pass the cave; I want to live in it.

[crim son]

7. After ten minutes?

Really?

[jgraz]

8. Well, ten minutes after we decided to split

We were together 10 years but once the decision was made, that was it. We both knew it was time to move on.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Stop. That. Right. Now.

This is madness...

You are beautiful......and I mean that...

He loves you...

And you know it!

So knock it off, OK?

You are not screwed. He told you...

Do you think he would have done that if he were about to abandon you?

He's divorced from her!

He no longer loves her!

Sheesh......what do I have to do? Call you again?

:hug:

:loveya:

[crim son]

5. The last one said I was his soulmate and tears filled his eyes

when we were together. Shortly thereafter he was reunited with the wife he said was mentally ill, who physically abused him and who he said he hated. Yes, the marriage wasn't over but... people lie. Out of need & out of loneliness they deceive themselves and others get carried away with the deception.

I don't even think I'm angry with him. More with myself. But HELL!!!! Who knew?

[wildhorses]

13. damn. i could have written that post myself.

men :eyes:

[crim son]

14. Than you have all my empathy and all my support.

That particular asshole took everything when he left. Now I am a wee bit tougher. :hug:

[FreedRadical]

15. Yea, its just us right?

:sarcasm:

[wildhorses]

16. sorry. i know the female of the spicies can be just as deadly.

seems like i am always getting some black widow's left overs...slim pickings at my age, i'm telling ya. everybody has battle scars.

[zanne]

25. Don't make me come down there.

The fact that his ex-wife is a beautiful, slutty exotic dancer has nothing to do with the love he feels for you. So cut it out.

[puerco-bellies]

3. Be kind to yourself.

She is an ex for a reason

[crim son]

6. Yes she is, and I know the reason.

It wasn't his choice. He has two teenage daughters who need a mother. Sigh. I'm a fucking idiot (but being kind to myself, worry not!)

[FreedRadical]

11. Don't forget the torture factor.

I have an ex that likes to come around to jab a fork in my back when she thinks i'm happy. Its been over 5 years, there is no love loss, but she still wants me dead for not loving her.

Fuck her. We deserve to be happy.

[crim son]

12. You do deserve to be happy!

That's what I think she's doing, sort of. She is married to a wealthy man who does not, I believe, make her happy. It's not my imagination... I get input from her children. I don't believe she loves him but he has been single, basically, since the divorce. He posted something (uncharacteristic) about me and she saw it, through her daughter's website (I think). Suddenly she cares about how he's feeling. He said, "I should have asked her, 'What do you want?'" But see, he didn't.

My troubles aside, I wish the very best for you. Exes, they kinda suck. I've got one of my own.

[mike_c]

17. I have an ex that I love dearly-- twenty years after we split...

...and one that I hope I never hear from again. The ex that I think the world of is one of my best friends, and yes, an occasional lover. We're still ex's though-- I'm not sure either of us could or would change that. Still, she's part of my world and I could never turn my back on her. It complicates other relationships, for sure.

[MissHoneychurch]

18. I'm sorry crim son

love is a tough thing. You love, you hurt.

Hey, he told you. That is good. He dosn't hide it.

[In_The_Wind]

19. There seems to be a built in radar just for that.

Remember ~ she is his ex for a reason.

Hang in there. :loveya:

:pals: It seems like we add a bit of sparkle to the guy's eye. Guys that couldn't get a second look from girls suddenly became a babe magnate after I started seeing 'em. :shrug: go figure

[The Straight Story]

20. About me and my X (she is dead now)

I let go of her, hell I am the one who left her.

So she had a nice body, was blonde, and used to be a professional high diver. Men are not always so shallow that they care about such things. Sadly, some are though....

I left her for an overweight brunette - who was one helluva cool woman. The ONLY reason I ever entertained thoughts of going back to her (less than a few months after I left) was due to my 3 kids.

I then ended up with my current wife - a pretty red head (the one in my Sig line). We drove all the way to Ohio from CA to see my boys and take em on vacation to Kings Island.

The X found out I was with someone else, and that she was here with me (in Ohio). She said I could not take my kids anywhere, but I could meet them at McD's. I took the new wife and when she met her (and her new boyfriend could not stop staring at her) she was a tad pissed. After that day - I never talked to some of my boys again (although 8 years later when she died I got to meet my oldest son and talk to the youngest one on the phone. Still have not talked my boy Nathaniel and it pains me deeply).


---- If he left her I doubt he has forgotten the reasons why, and no matter how you feel about yourself that does not mean he feels the same way.

I don't care if my X won the lotto and wanted me back, no way in hell I would go (of course, that is a mute point now....).

I DID want to talk to her though and be friends, for the sake of the kids and because I never saw the point of hating each other.

My X girlfriend knew I came back to Ohio for weeks at a time, and would have coffee with the X and chat with her - but she was ok with that because I made it clear I loved her first and foremost.

----I Don't know what advice to give you my friend, just thought I would share my experience. If ya ever need to talk, feel free to PM me for my #. I know how hard it can all be. I am still crying to this day about all I have went through (a lot of emotions across the board). You husband is with you for a reason - and maybe he needs to communicate that better at times.

Chin up, and know you have friends here :)

[Richard Steele]

21. Nurse + exotic dancer + he still accepts her calls? DUMP HIM. Right fucking now.

DO NOT WALK, RUN. DO IT NOW.

I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but that's just a formula
that won't ever add up to "a good catch".

Never has, never does, never will.

[Inchworm]

22. Don't make me hunt you down !!

Men don't let go of their wives, do they? Not even after ten years. I'm screwed.

It's you wimminz who are kaRAYzee!

I'll hide now :hide: kthxbye :)

:hi:

[LibraLiz1973]

23. Why do you say "Men don't let go of their wives"?

He TOLD you she called, as opposed to not!
You are NOT screwed.
She sounds like a real prize- calling because a new woman is on her turf. Puke.


Keep your chin up- be positive.

[Callalily]

24. Try not to stress

over this. What ever will happen, will happen.

[Tyler Durden]

26. Can't speak for all XY type people...

But as for me, to paraphrase Dickens, I wouldn't attend the Ex's FUNERAL unless a luncheon was served (and it had better be CATERED).

Don't sweat so much. I wouldn't leave Deb for NWC, FSC, OR even Rising Phoenix and they be younger and foxier than her (on the exterior at least!).

WE let go of the ex's: THEY never let go of US.

[NewJeffCT]

27. oh please, you're far from screwed

If he was really interested in her, he probably would not have told you that she called and tried to meet her for a cup of coffee or something first. At least that is what I think would happen.

I haven't heard from my ex-wife at all since less than a year after our divorce was official. I'm sure if I ran into her, I'd be polite, but I wouldn't be interested at all. If I was still single, I might think about a quickie for old times sake, but I even turned that down during the divorce process, so I doubt I'd be more interested now.

BTW, my ex-wife worked at Hooters for a while and is 4-5 years younger than my 2nd wife...