Jeffery wants to be my friend!

[jmowreader]

I got this heartwarming e-mail in my inbox today...

Good Day Friend

How are you today? Hope everything is going well with you over there. Hope this did not come to you as surprise, I was browsing through the internet for friends email address there I came across yours I just said I should drop you a note I you would be kind enough to reply to my friendship request.

let me tell you little about myself, my name is jeffery and my tribal name is Osas a short form of Osazee Meaning "God choose for me" I am 29 years old Nigerian man, brown eyes, tall with good sense of humour. I am still single, I have finished my college and also had diploma in Banking and finace with computer science, I am now working In Private own establishment here in my country.

My hobbies are: listening to music, reading (novels and poems) watching movies, making friends, travelling, I like in-door too I go out occasionally I do not drink and I do not smoke either.

For my family we are seven in number, four boys and three girls. I am the second fourth of my parents; I have one elder brother,two sisters and two younger brothers, one younger sister. My elder brother and two sisters are married and are into private business (Enginerring); he designed on all kinds of Electronics device.

Hope our friendship will be a long lasting one, I am a Christian and honest faithful person, I hate lies and I would like to make friend with a very sincere, faithful and understanding person (lady) I don?t mind age all I need from my partner is love and understanding age is just a number to me it is the person that count. Who knows our friendship may lead to a long lasting relationship in future if you don?t mind. I am always online I need somebody that will be writing me often. My box is empty. We can chat on either yahoo messenger or msn.

Anyway, that is what I have to tell you for now if you have any question to ask me feel free to ask and I will definitely answer your questions. I would like to know more about you. I am anxiously waiting for your reply.

Dear Jeffery:

It is so good to hear from you. I always wanted to have a 29-year-old Nigerian Christian man who does not smoke or drink as a friend.

Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Anheuser and my tribal name is Busch, a short form of Busche meaning "Be wary of 419 scammers." I am 29 years old American woman, silky skin, long legs, deep uniform tan from hours of sunbathing nude on the roof of my family's business, pouty lips and firm, perky breasts. Across my lower back is a beautiful tattoo, an image of Kuje, Nigeria*. This should bring back fond memories, as I know you've lived in Kuje off and on for many years.

I have very few hobbies, since my work keeps me busy all the time. I don't want to hurt you, seeing as how you're a devout Christian man who neither smokes nor drinks, but I was named after the family business, which I inherited and operate myself. The family business is named Anheuser Busch, just like me, and it is the biggest manufacturer of beer in the world. I am currently in negotiations with a competitor called the Altria Group to purchase the subsidiary called "Philip Morris," who is the biggest manufacturer of cigarettes in the world.

But on the very few days I have off, I like to drink beer, smoke cigars and have wild sex with many men at the same time. I am certain that with time, you too will love these things as much as I.

Anyway, that is what I have to tell you for now. I usually don't read my e-mail, but you can always contact me through my new boyfriend, Professor Oluyemi Oluleke Osinbajo**. I told him all about you and he says he knows you all too well. Certainly he can only mean that in the best way, but he says he'll come right out to see you so that he can return you to the town of Kuje. He says you'll be able to verify that my tattoo is accurate and of the highest quality.

I am anxiously waiting for your reply. Toodles!

* Location of the worst prison in Nigeria, which is saying a lot.
** Professor Osinbajo is the justice minister for Lagos State in Nigeria.

[Jamastiene]

1. OMG, I damned near pissed myself reading that one.

:rofl: Damn, that was good. I needed that today. Thank you. :rofl:

[Suich]

2. That's just bizarre!

Your reply is great!

:)