For some reason, I just thought of the old bit about 'the perfect wife':

[Oeditpus Rex]

A chef in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom.



Now — what might be the corollary for "the perfect husband"?



:popcorn:

[MrScorpio]

1. Made of money, ears that work and brave enough to kill that fucking spider

Plus, at least competent in the bedroom

[DarkTirade]

2. Well I've got two out of three...

I'm just glad you didn't mention roaches...

:scared:
Me no likey roaches.

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. The spider thing doesn't hold up at my house.

:P My husband's a big-time arachnophobe, and he isn't fond of other insects either. I'm the pest control person at my house, and whenever possible, I do not kill them. I'm a catch-and-release-well-away-from-phobes person. :)

[billyskank]

7. Hi Chick

:hi:

:*

[billyskank]

3. Biggus Dickus

[mainegreen]

5. Like the sig you have now.

Agree totally with the sentiment!

:rofl:

[MissMillie]

11. notice how this response did NOT come from a woman

:think:

[billyskank]

13. Thought Oedi would appreciate the Monty Python reference

[MissMillie]

24. to be honest

I loved the MP reference

:hi:

[mainegreen]

4. The perfect husband is a telepath. n/t

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. My version of "the perfect husband"...

Uses the hamper that is 18 inches away from his side of the bed rather than wadding his used clothing up and throwing it on the floor, doesn't dribble when heeding nature's call (i.e. has excellent aim instead of lazy aim or no aim at all), and amazing in the sack. :D :bounce:

Money's not a requirement, and neither is mechanical ability or pest control. :P

[billyskank]

9. Hey

Not only do I put my laundry in the basket but I actually do laundry and iron too. I may dribble but I always wipe it up, and I was once described as a "gorgeous fuck."

So come and claim me!

[lost-in-nj]

10. Hard worker during the day

gentlemen in the parlor
and
submissive in the bedroom....


lost

[MissMillie]

12. a man that doesn't turn me into a nag

he does what I ask him the first time.... just like I do for him.

[BarenakedLady]

14. No such thing

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. if i can achieve two of the three, what does it make me?

[zanne]

16. Someone who encourages me when I'm feeling insecure...

And says "nice going" when I achieve something I didn't think I could.

[SarahB]

17. Since I'm not much of a chef,

he can pickup my slack there. Fortunately, he does and he's perfect! :loveya:

[VLC]

18. Gentleman in the parlor and turns into a pizza at 3 am. (nt)

[skygazer]

19. Excellent cook, brings home a paycheck

And makes me squeal.

Oooh, that's what I've got! :think:

[noamnety]

20. The perfect husband:

Someone who doesn't buy into gendered chore crap, doesn't expect women to behave like "ladies" and doesn't refer to women as "whores."

:popcorn:

[raccoon]

26. Thank you! nt

[Ellen Forradalom]

21. Cares about himself, cares about me

cares about his family and friends, and cares about the world.

[treestar]

22. That sounds outdated

So the equivalent would be maybe: stays out from underfoot in the kitchen, is sociable at all times even to his wife, and romantic in the bedroom.

[cloudbase]

23. I thought the perfect wife

was a bisexual nymphomaniac whose father owns a liquor store.

[zanne]

25. LOL!

You'd have it all, huh?

[NewJeffCT]

27. hah

I don't really drink, so I wouldn't even need the second part of your requirements.

[Tyler Durden]

28. GOD NOOOOOOO!!!

My only comment to some man fool enough to wish for a nymphomaniac is that his wish be granted so he may learn by experience.

I was stupid enough to fall in love with one and marry another. Fortunately these portions of my blighted past are long gone.