I'm really struggling with my hatred of Republicans...Anyone else?

[Arugula Latte]

I fucking hate Republicans. I can't shake my anger at them. I don't care if they're the "moderate" or "just fiscally conservative" or "not really political" type of Republicans. I fucking hate them. I will never forgive them for what they've done to our country. I will never forgive even the most passive Republican for enabling Bushco. Fury fills my veins when I think of them. You all know the results of their Republicanism. Stolen elections. Hundreds of thousands of slaughtered Iraqis. Torture. Melting ice caps. Tax breaks for billionaires. A shredded constitution. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Positively unforgiveable.

I know it's wrong to "hate" anyone. Still, I can't shake my hatred, no matter how hard I try to talk myself out of it. I feel it in my gut.

Ten years ago, I wasn't like this. Yes I was a self-proclaimed liberal from the age of 14 when that dickhead Reagan somehow became president. I've always voted for the D's, but I could sort of eye-rollingly tolerate the few Republicans I knew. Not any more.

Since the age of 18, I've lived only in liberal places. Berkeley, San Francisco, Washington DC and Portland. The one Republican "friend" I've kept from high school has essentially been cut out of my life. I'm afraid if I start talking to her vent all my fury and rip her to shreds. So it's easier not to talk.

My husband and I have basically constructed a Republican-free life. Until now.

My widowed, atheist, Green-registered mother has recently started dating a man. She's gushing. She's in love. He's wonderful. etc. She wants me to be happy for her. I want to be happy for her.

I've never met the guy. They're in another state. I'm sure he seems perfectly nice and caring. Yet, one time she slipped that he's a Republican. He went to see "Sicko" with her because he says he's one of those "open-minded" Republicans. Well, good for him.

Yet.

I can't shake the fact that he's a Republican. If they get married, I'll have to deal with him. And I hate him.

I fucking hate him. He's an enabler of the destruction of our country. That is overriding everything to me, even though I try to talk myself out of my own feeling. I can't seem to do it. My sister thinks on this particular issue, I'm overreacting. I can't help it. I feel what I feel.

So far I've said little about the relationship to her. I'm sure she wants me to ask her questions about him and share her joy. I just can't. Because she's dating The Enemy. Oh, he's a handsome, congenial Enemy, I'm quite sure. She has no idea I hate her boyfriend, who I've never met.

I'm sure people will think I'm sick and judgmental and selfish. So be it. I'm being honest. Does loyalty to my father play into this? Very little. My sympathies/loyalties were always with my mother. My father was no picnic to be married to, I'm sure. Yes, I loved him. But I understand life goes on, life is for the living, etc. etc. My mother has been lonely, and she should date if she wants to.

Yet.

Even though I don't want to, I hate my mother's boyfriend. And I feel like crying. :cry:

[malta blue]

1. Honesty is a virtue that most republicans lack ...

I have one friend who is a "republican"...although in the 20 years that I have known him ,I have yet to figure out why. He hates Bushco too. I've had to eliminate all others who had even an inkling of love for * because I despise him so.

That being said, your mom's relationship is her's to deal with, and perhaps you do have some loyalty to your dad playing into it, but don't let your hatred cloud the world. Believe me - I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. But if this man makes your mom happy, it is a good thing. Perhaps your athiest, Green Party mom can change HIM, and not him change her. Your parents raised you to be an independent thinking, strong-willed individual, so they must possess these qualities as well, and have faith that your mom can hold her own.

And yes - I HATE them too.

[xchrom]

2. struggle? -- nope no struggle.

i just hate 'em.

they are all tapeworms.

[Kutjara]

73. Took the words out of my mouth.

Hating Republicans is as easy as falling off a chair.

[Bjornsdotter]

82. Yep

...same here. I'm fed up and I'm letting it be known.

Cheers

[Gormy Cuss]

3. For whatever reason I've always had close friends with politics that I abhor.

When I moved to this part of the East Bay it was still considered a Republican stronghold, at least in Bay Area terms (our MOC is Tauscher,) but my area is surprisingly liberal because of what we call the "Berkeley ex pat" effect --people who were priced out of Berkeley and moved here before the prices became absurd. I have one neighbor who had two W signs in front of his house in 2004, but the rest of the street is either neutral or Democrats. Only the W sign guy is an ass. Everyone else is pretty good people.

I grew up in Maine and Yankee Republicans are cut from a different bolt. They're not the enemy. They are just people with a different (and to my mind wrong) opinion. Perhaps the new man in your mother's life is like that. If you haven't actually talked to him, give him a chance before you decide.

[Arugula Latte]

5. I'm trying to get to that point.

I think I have to go through this angry- and anxiety-filled state first, maybe. I'm hoping it passes. If not, maybe I can take some drugs before I meet him to mellow me out :)

on edit: my Mom and her boyfriend live in the East Bay ('burbs), where I grew up...

[begin_within]

4. Nowadays I pity them more than hate them.

I have one republican friend. I won't discuss politics with him, if he brings it up I just say nothing until he talks about something else. He says all the same talking points that appear on all outlets of the republican noise machine. I just think of him as brainwashed and now I feel just pity - but I don't do anything about it, I just let him wallow in his booze.

[Gato Moteado]

6. focus that hate! don't struggle with it!

sure it's wrong to hate, but i hate repukes too. they're all human garbage. i feel exactly as you do.

i am sickened when i see crap on DU where people go out of their way with posturing to show how much better they are when some nazi dirtbag gets cancer and starts to croak. all of a sudden there's an outpouring of sympathy and, at times, worship for filth like tony snow, laura ingraham, or some fascist senator who's on his last legs. i even saw some DUer post something like "i hope tony snow has a speedy recovery so he can get back to fighting us dems". WTF???? that's an insult to the tens of thousands of dead in iraq (both US service people and iraqi civilians)! to want the repukes to continue to be strengthened in their fight to continue war, destruction of the environment, destruction of the middle class and poor, destruction of science in our schools and scientific research, and their protection for crooked corporate heads and horrible industries is an insult to us all!

and then if you don't show the same sympathy as these posturers you're attacked by them.

ridiculous!

the sooner these filthy, terrorist, dirtbag repuke nazis leave, the better.

[MissB]

7. Maybe he is more like a "Tom McCall" republican.

I don't know how long you've lived here, but if you aren't familiar with Tom McCall, he did many admirable things. Our bottle bill is thanks to him.

[Arugula Latte]

15. I know what you mean. McCall was one of the last "good" Republicans.

He'd probably be considered a liberal by today's standards.

And I am struggling to make distinctions amongst Republicans, but, still, there is a huge part of me that looks upon them all as Enablers of Evil. It's like a different part of the spectrum of Nazism in Germany -- plenty of Germans were just plain folks, but, still, they "went along." Look at the result.

When I try to talk myself into moderating my views I picture a massive crowd of slaughtered, murdered Iraqis looking at me with haunted eyes. My mom's Mr. Wonderful has blood on his hands for pulling the lever for Bushco. I am having a very difficult time seeing past that. It's all made harder by most people's dismissive view of it all ... "Oh, there she goes again. She's so POLIITICAL."

Crap.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. I don't struggle with it all. It's just easy, natural, and wonderful.

[Exultant Democracy]

9. I can't help but hate that last 33%,

I had one Republican friend but I can't be friends with someone crazy enough to support Bush and his war.

[supernova]

10. Definitely long to be away from them

in a lot stronger way than I ever used to.

I used to be able to be civil to people with whom I disagreed politically. I find that I can't really do that anymore. I find that i have little patience for willful stupidity.

[Skittles]

11. I am with you - they all make me sick

I don't care for the DUers who claim repukes suck EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THEY KNOW!!! *THEY ALL SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

[Gato Moteado]

12. exactly!

i always knew there was a reason i like you so much, skittles!

[KG]

17. !

Skittles; making me laugh out loud since 2001, YES INDEED! :hi:

[huskerlaw]

24. Yes, well...

sometimes the one we know is our mother.

But apparently I'm supposed to hate her because obviously she sucks. Got it. Will work on that.

[Skittles]

68. no need to hate her

that is your business. But I reserve the right to think that all repukes suck.

[huskerlaw]

69. And I reserve the right

to think that's really closed-minded and somewhat offensive.

My mom doesn't suck. Neither does the rest of my family.

[Skittles]

71. I don't care for people who support the party that is destroying America

your opinions are your own and so are mine. I might not detest your mom as a person but her politics SUCK

[huskerlaw]

74. I know they do

and that was my point. Her POLITICS suck. She doesn't.

Hate the politics, not the person...

[stuntcat]

13. it's bothering me more lately too

And I try not to feel Hate too.
I mean I at least try to center any Hate I have on one or two people instead of on whole groups, but lately the disrespect I feel for Certain People is turning into fear which I know is actually Hate, and it's not rational at all, it's like this animal revulsion that hits me. There are people I can't even be around any more. I'm going to spend 2 days with my Mom next month and sharing time with her republican husband is making me dread the visit, and I only see her a couple of times a year now :cry:

I think it really comes down to fear for me, because all I care about any more is the animals and the planet and I've lost hope for the future. We're the smart powerful first-worlders and we won't change. And I realize a lot of Democrats don't care about this but I know no republicans do.

What you feel for this person in your Mom's life, try to turn it into pity, pity his simp-dom and laugh at him (that's not working so well for me lately but it is how I've dealt with their type the last few years)

[Bravo Zulu]

14. I concur

I hate their stinking guts!

[WildEyedLiberal]

16. I TOTALLY could've written this

Minus the personal examples - I know EXACTLY how you feel. I can barely be civil to my Republican friends even when we're not talking politics. I have to bite my tongue not to bring up how STUPID and/or EVIL they must be for supporting this evil malicious hateful proudly stupid and anti-intellectual agenda. I have to actually restrain myself from rubbing their stupidity in their faces. Hell, one of my best friends voted for Bush in 2004, has since done a COMPLETE 180, is very liberal, hates Bush, wishes she'd voted for Kerry, admits she was disastrously wrong... and sometimes I STILL want to yell "HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING STUPID???!!!" in her face - and she's one of the ones who GETS it now! What the hell do I do with those who STILL refuse to get it.

I feel your pain. 100%

[cobalt1999]

18. Sounds a little overboard to me.

By cutting off all contact with republicans, you've managed to demonize and, in your mind, transfer all things "bad" onto them. Reality is not so black and white, nor is it ever that easy.

Living in the Bible belt, I have lots of republican friends, and even as an outspoken atheist, I even have a couple of "fundie" friends. Demonizing someone (like your mothers boyfriend) because of a label is narrow minded.

Life is not as simple as "Democrats Good; Republicans Bad".

[Crazy Dave]

19. And when you hear...

..."republicans are the ones who are intolerant, disrespectful and hateful"

Maybe there should be an age limit requirement here on DU

[redqueen]

55. I doubt naivety is always the culprit.

[Deep13]

20. Why do you think it is wrong to hate something that is hateful?

Actions can be immoral, but feelings alone cannot be. Hate what is appalling indicates emotional health. I would have to question your sanity if you did not hate what is intolerable.

[Pendrench]

21. My wife of 12 years is a Republican, and she is a very kind and loving person. n/t

[Arugula Latte]

36. So she kindly and lovingly voted for a regime of mass murderers?

Sorry to be a sarcastic asshole, but there you go...

[Pendrench]

42. If you would like me to defend my marriage, I would be happy to do so.

I see her as a loving and kind wife, who has been by my side for 12 years.

She is a wonderful mother to our two children.

She is a good daughter, sister, friend, person.

If you would rather define her by your definition of what a Republican is, that's your choice.

Personally, I doubt that I would be happier with a someone whose sole qualification as a life partner is that she's a registered Democrat.

Tim

[Arugula Latte]

44. She's a nice person, but by being a Republican she's showing pure contempt for

the poor, the environment, Iraqis, civil rights, gay people, black people, etc. She's enabling class warfare upon the vulnerable and giving her tacit approval to allowing policies that mean innocent Iraqis are slaughtered and that global warming not only continues and accelerates.

By voting Republican, your wife is enabling this stuff to continue. She's encouraging policies that cause death and suffering to humans and animals worldwide. So how do you square that with her being a nice person? I'd really like to know.

[Pendrench]

46. You're right...what the hell was I thinking?????????

I should have never married the bitch.

Tim

[Arugula Latte]

47. I'm happy to help...Glad you saw the light.

;)

[Pendrench]

52. Seriously, though...

I think we are just seeing things on a different level (micro vs. macro, if you will).

I'm sure that there are some people here who were married to (or in relationships with) people who shared their political beliefs, but later found out that they weren't compatible as a couple for reasons outside of those political beliefs.

My wife and I love each other. We are raising two beautiful children (both adopted). Do we agree on everything? No. But I think that you might be surprised how much we do agree on.

Obviously politics are very important and very passionate to you, and that's wonderful. And so I guess that ultimately you will need to decide if that passion for politics outweighs your feelings toward your mother's new relationship. It may, but then again it may not.

In any event, best of luck to you!

Tim

[mulsh]

22. hate requires way too much effort on my part

I don't have listen to recitations of talking points. I certainly have no respect for anyone who at this stage of the game claims to be a republican. I consider being a republican to be a sure sign of ethical and moral flaws. But I don't hate them, that would require way more work than these folks are worth.

[Arugula Latte]

31. See, with me, I have to struggle mightily NOT to hate them.

It's like this tsunami of rage washes over me when I think of the consequences of their stupidity and/or greed.

[mulsh]

53. 16 years of Reagan wore my hate out early

but I just thought he and his people were very wrong. after 6 months of the current crew I realized they were pure evil and maliciously wrong. After a year I realized that anyone who supported them were either evil or foolish, probably both. anyway I finally know what the term "beneath contempt means."

in any event it's much better to work to defeat this excrable force than to merely hate them.

[madinmaryland]

23. Lighten up and stop hating!

Hating indicates you have closed your mind, and in fact are becoming what you actually "hate".

Stop it!

[Arugula Latte]

29. I wish it were so simple, madinmaryland.

I've been able to shelter myself from Republicans, and now one is invading my family like a cancer. So, this is the beginning of this for me, and I'm hoping I can work through it in a sane manner. It's hard to control feelings. ...Rationally, I know hatred is bad. Still, there it is, burning inside me. I can't deny it's there. I just have to find a way to deal with this.

[madinmaryland]

33. If you have to hate, then "hate" the policies and not the people.

I have many friends who are republican that I could never hate. I disagree with their politics, but I cannot hate them.

[Arugula Latte]

35. If it weren't for the people, the policies wouldn't be in place.

How do you separate the dancer from the dance? I can't seem to do it.

[redqueen]

56. I learned it in bible study.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

All it takes is realizing that people can change. Once you meet a republican and they see the error of their ways, you'll know exactly what I mean.

I hope you feel better soon.

:pals:

[Arugula Latte]

59. Thanks!

:pals:

A lot of people have "flipped" in the past few years to the Dem. column ... I do have to wonder about the motives/sanity/intelligence of anyone who still calls themselves a Republican at this stage of the game.

[redqueen]

62. They may be in deep denial...

if they're not hard core bigots, then that has to be it. Or insanity. :shrug:

:hi:

[Deep13]

30. Gee, why didn't I think of that?

"...and in fact are becoming what you actually 'hate'."

I'm pretty sure I am not becoming a neocon, a Fundy or a war profiteer.

[madinmaryland]

34. Hating to me implies "closed-mindedness".

[huskerlaw]

25. It's hard, but it can be done...

Generally speaking, I hate Republicans too. But I was raised in, basically, the opposite environment. I'm from Nebraska. If I refused to hang out with Republicans, I would have been VERY lonely.

So I had to agree to disagree...or, more likely, insist upon NO political talk. NONE. No snide comments, no glancing jabs. Nothing.

People are more than their politics. There ARE plenty of otherwise nice Republicans. They're just...for whatever reason...horribly mislead and dead-ass wrong on one aspect of their life. I'm sure you could say the same thing about some of your Democrat friends, yes?

What it comes down to is this...politics is extremely important to me. But my family (the vast majority of whom are Republican) means MORE. I will not allow BushCo to rip my family apart. I simply will not allow it. So I look past it. And I try to educate them whenever I can. And I hope that one day they see the light.

That's all I can do, short of ruining my relationship with my mom and 2 of my sisters--and I refuse to do that.

[yardwork]

26. I understand. I've been strugging with this myself.

One thing that helps, oddly enough, is to recognize that I'm really mad at a lot of Democrats, too. It's not a binary Republicans = bad, Democrats = good in my mind. I see a continuum of clueless, willfully ignorant, just-plain-mean people with very few falling in the "good" category.

Two things. Jesus said to remove the plank from our own eyes before we fuss about the mote in someone else's. I'm a pagan, and I still believe that that is a very wise observation. The other thing is that hatred is a very toxic feeling. Try to sublimate the hatred into action and positive energy.

My final bit of advice is to let your mom take care of herself. She sounds like she knows what she's doing. Just don't think about her new boyfriend. This may all become a non-issue, and there's no point in worrying about it now.

[DS1]

27. Good...your hate has made you powerful.

Now fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side!

[Arugula Latte]

32. ...

:toast:

[redqueen]

57. You're toasting a reference

to joining the dark side?

:shrug:

[Arugula Latte]

64. I just thought it was funny ...

:D

[Tyler Durden]

28. I hate them too, and I NEVER feel remorse for it.

Quintus Arrius: Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That's good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.

Bush keeps us alive to serve his ship, so I skate on rowing well whenever no one is watching.

[John Kerry VonErich]

37. As long as you avoid politics...

he might be a great guy. If it bothers you that politics gets in the way of any kind of friendly relationship, you might need to talk to a psychologist IMHO.

[Arugula Latte]

43. I know what you're saying, but ...

I just don't know how people can separate politics from their feelings towards people. It colors my perception in every way, shape and form. I'm in awe of people who can compartmentalize it.

[cobalt1999]

51. Remember, politics isn't a big deal for most of the people in this country

Most people only think about politics every 4 years during a presidential election, even then we only get about 1/2 the registered voters to bother to show up and vote. In non-presidential years, it's around 25%. Which means what is critically important to you, doesn't even register on most people's radar.

It's like a Boston Red Sox fan ranting about how horrible Yankee fans are and how he could never be friends with one. To most people that's an insane way to think because they don't care about sports. Well, like it or not, most of the country doesn't care about politics.

[John Kerry VonErich]

85. I totally understand your feelings

you just need help controlling them, thats why I say that you need to talk to a psychologist. I have a friend who is a conservative republican Thompson supporter. I never got in the way of our friendship. We argue, but that doesn't mean I hate him.

[Burma Jones]

38. No Struggle for me...

I have one brother and my Mom, they're Republicans, but they live in Texas and I don't see them much. When I do have contact with them, politics are off the table. Maybe it's because I have three young kids and they're pretty much the topic of most conversations. I don't hate them, but my Stepmom and three other Brothers are higher in my estimation.

I live in a very very Democratic dominated area. There are absolutely NO Republicans elected to Public Office in my County of nearly a million residents - none, not even the Clerk of Court. Most of the Republicans I know around here are beaten and ashamed and looking for Democrats that at least give some respect to the American Mythos. Some of the local Republicans are Republicans because their families were, some because they want nothing more in life than to be contrary, like local Dallas Cowboys fans, most are just scared.

I dunno, I live in a very nice place with great schools, affluence and a low crime rate for such a large and diverse population. I credit good Democratic Party governance but also the lack of local GOP power.

But, it's hard to shake the feeling that most Republicans are that way because they're frightened racists, and I do hate frightened racists.

[Parche]

39. Hey Fellow Oregonian

I feel your pain

My republican sister remarried a right wing F-Wad %^$&^$#&$#)*&^)
I dont hate, I despise him, he is so controlling and a typical right winger

I have 2 best friends that are Republican, but they are OK, they have helped me in the
past and I have known them for a lot of years, they are not bad, I just wish they would
come over to our side.

Yes, the last 7years or more, but mostly during the Bush years, they have completely
destroyed our Country, in my mind, and a lot of other peoples, I know 9/11 was an
inside job, probably with help from the CIA, there is so much evidence out there for that.

Every Wednesday night over 75 of us protest in Beaverton, I think the biggest one in Oregon
a lot of nice people, and we get great responses, and its 2blocks from my place anyway!!!!!
So its close.

:hi:

[Arugula Latte]

48. Thanks, Parche.

:hi:

That's cool about the Beaverton protest. I hadn't heard about that. Where do you protest?

[Parche]

50. Protest

Across from the Beaverton Libree...........:hi:
630pm-730pm every Wednesday....

[seriousstan]

40. You need professional help.

[Arugula Latte]

49. You're probably right.

I've actually thought about that, since this boyfriend situation happened.

It's interesting, though, to look at the replies to this thread. I think a lot of people feel the way I do.

[seriousstan]

61. No, only a few other twisted, dark souls on a site that has an obvious bias.

I am sure you will find nobody questioning a person's love of young children on a pedophile site either, but that doesn't make it normal or healthy.

[W2Hague]

41. The Dubya Years

Anger is good. Means you're alive... aware and actually thinking. Hate is bad. Just poisons your insides and attracts bad energy. Hate is fucking pointless.

Whenever I feel the hate rise I TRY to keep my perspective with humor. When you cease to be able to appreciate the immense humor in all the machinations of the Bush Fools, ya might as well go ahead and quit breathing.

_unfortunately, from my perspective it looks like the shit is about to get a whole lot worse (Iran, Syria)


Anyway, try this on for size. If it doesn't make you laugh you're already dead.

<object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DVJAYizuJGc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DVJAYizuJGc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>

[Brigid]

45. Not anymore.

I will never forgive them for eight years of Bush. :grr:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

54. I'm with you

I was laughed at and derided at my husband's cousin's house Saturday night. I stated that "the only good Republican is a dead Republican." Mr. DTBK said, "What about your Republican uncle?" I said, "Have we seen him since we moved here?" (He lives south of Fort Worth, and we're in Irving). They thought I was such a hypocrite - I insist on my right to feel a certain way and have certain beliefs, but try to deny others. I'm not trying to deny anything - I just hate Republicans!

I also hate hating, but this is what comes of living under a Nazi regime! (bowing to Seinfeld).

[redqueen]

58. He might change.

My ex did. So don't write him off... and don't shy away from discussing politics, if it can be kept reasonably civil (ha HA!)

Good luck. :)

[av8rdave]

60. No struggle for me at all. I don't hate them, just their ideas/belief systems

I more feel sorry for them. How sad to have such a selfish, twisted view of the world.

[Rambis]

63. Being a pug is a character flaw beyond redemption

I want to pound them all into a bloody pulp for one being a pug then two being vapid enough to vote repug. If I find out someone voted for * I instantly hate their guts. I know it is only hurting me in the long run but I can't stop hating the bastards! I blew up at a friends dad last year at a party. he is a life long laborer kinda guy who's pension was cut because of the pugs but he still drinks the Koolaide. I asked him "what has the republican party ever done for you?" They have fucked him at every turn but he still votes for them because he sure hates them liberals with their high taxes and big government! I want to rip my hair out and I have precious little of it left.


FUCKERS! all of them!

[grace0418]

65. Anyone who still supports the GOP at this point is fair game IMHO.

Do I hate them? I'd like to think I don't, but I probably do. At least in a broad sense.

But I can't hate all Republicans, I just can't. When I think of how difficult it has been for me to dig up the truth about any subject in the last 6+ years, I have a hard time hating some of the people who fell for the lies being fed to them. I had to work hard to uncover the truth, and I already knew something was wrong in the first place to even go out looking for it. And I live in a huge diverse city and know people from all over the world who have unique perspectives. I'm also relatively healthy, childless, and I only have one job. Can I really hate someone who lives in a small town, works two jobs, has three kids, a husband on disability and who's only source of information is what she hears at church or on the television (in little snippets between chores)? Maybe George Bush did seem like a nice, down to earth guy to her. Maybe she believed the lies being spread about Al Gore, or later about John Kerry. I'm not saying she's right to make such a choice based on little or no information. I'm not saying she doesn't bear some responsibility to be more informed. But I don't think I can hate someone like that.

I actually need to look no further than my oldest brother. My family, as fucked up and abusive as it was, was raised to be informed and open-minded. All eleven of us are intelligent, creative and hard-working. All but a few of us have advanced degrees and are in rather off-beat professions. But my oldest brother has lead a different life. He had a lot of trouble in school because he was very hard of hearing. The combination of the era and my mother's inability to give one-on-one attention to eleven children meant that he was never given the extra help he needed to succeed, which is a shame because he's very intelligent. I think perhaps because he struggled with school, and had very low self-esteem because of his disability, he ended up rejecting the idea of getting a good education. He barely graduated from high school and spent the next few years partying and getting in trouble with the law. Nothing too serious, but not great either. He eventually picked himself up and started working at trade shop, getting very good at his work very quickly.

Within several years he started his own business, and has been extremely successful. He works his ass off and earned everything he has. He's also exceedingly kind and generous. However, his world-view is somewhat narrow. His friends out in the small town where he lives all have that same world-view. He doesn't travel too much. He doesn't interact too much with people of different backgrounds. He's had really bad luck with employees. They don't like to work very hard but they want to get paid a lot and get all of their union benefits. Some have really screwed him over because he's really trusting. So over time he's developed a distaste for unions. I'm sure on a purely intellectual level he understands the need. But he is one of those rare employers that would treat his employees fairly even without a union protecting them and in return he wants to have hard-working employees. On a purely intellectual level he understands the need for taxes but his early schooling didn't instill much confidence in our education system. And the terrible way this state is run doesn't give him much confidence in the bureaucrats running it.

So to him, right or wrong, he sees a government that makes too many rules, takes all his money that he broke his back earning, and gives him little in return. And when his buddies tell him the Faux News talking points blaming all our problems on the Dems, he naturally feels pretty pissed about that. He's never been a big reader, he just recently got dial-up internet in his house, so he couldn't keep himself informed online, and tv news is hard for him to follow because of his hearing loss. So he believes the stuff he hears. And he votes Republican like all his buddies.

Now I love my brother, but he and I just don't see eye to eye on politics. He doesn't willingly endorse all the things you and I believe Republicans endorse. He never would if he truly understood it. But I can't make him see the light because I'm one of those wacky liberals he's been taught to ignore. He simply doesn't not believe that voting Republican is a vote for torture, lies, greed, war, stealing from the poor, making the rich even richer, ruining the environment. He thinks voting Republican means voting against a nanny state, voting against "tax and spend," etc. You and I know how ridiculous that is, but a lot of people don't. And I just can't bring myself to hate my brother for that.

[Bake]

66. No.

That is all.

Bake

[rhiannon55]

67. I hate Republicans too, even my brother, who I used to just sorta dislike...

Now I can't stand him. I see his stupid smug face and I want to smack it. I can't believe we came from the same womb....

[KamaAina]

70. My name is KamaAina, and I'm a repuke-hate-a-holic.

My own stepdad is one. And yet, he and Mom (she who carried me on her shoulders to a McGovern rally in '72) are in Europe at this moment, on their way to a two-week tour of the Austrian Tyrol. This is the second European trip he's taken her on this year. (On the first, he finally relented and crossed into France, even if it was just Alsace!)

True, he is an old-school Northeastern repuke (despises fundies nearly as much as I do, for instance), but he does have some disconcerting habits: the France thing, obviously, plus referring to John Edwards (Mom's candidate, no less) as "the bottom-feeder".

But hate him? Gee, that's tough, seeing as how Mom hadn't found anyone for nearly forty years until Mr. Right (Wing, that is :P ) came along. Not to mention that he always takes us out to nice places when I'm up there. :-) What is a boy to do? :shrug:

[deaniac21]

76. So you don't mind him spending the money he earned from

riding the backs of the working class as long as he spends it on you?

[KamaAina]

91. Well, somehow I don't think he'll be donating it to MoveOn

so he might as well spend it on me and Mom, I guess.

The whole point of this exercise was to explicate the conflicts I have here, not to announce that I've gone over to the dark side or anything. Sheesh.

[Danger Mouse]

72. it's easy to broadbrush, as a lot of people on this thread have done.

my mother is a registered republican, but is quite liberal and has hated bush from day 1. not ALL republicans live in a moral vacuum, just most of them. :P
i have no use for anyone who support bush or the republicans in any way at this point.
they are true traitors, giving aid and comfort to our country's greatest enemy.

[deaniac21]

75. I think you correct in all of your thinking. The world would be a

much better place if they were all dead. Think of how wonderful life would be if only people with open minds existed.

[Ellen Forradalom]

77. You shake your puny fist at an uncaring universe

You are raging at your powerlessness to stop the war, to change minds, to seemingly affect anything in this horrible process. We are all struggling to find a way to work with the strong emotions this war engenders, to balance our outrage with our need to function. The rage and hate is a healthy response to the twin obscenities of this war and this Administration. But you will not change minds or end the war by holding onto that hate, nor by directing it at the nearest target, which is your mother's hapless boyfriend.

I read a similar dilemma at Salon. A vegan who feels a similar outrage at what he sees as the senseless slaughter of animals wrote to Cary Tennis because he found his mounting outrage hampering his effectiveness in the world. Tennis' response may interest you: http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2006/03/08/animal_activist/index.html

[ProdigalJunkMail]

78. are you aware that hate does NOTHING to the object of said hate?

I mean...you can get wrapped up in hate if you want, but the only person it hurts is you...and that is true of hating groups of people to individuals.

sP

[Common Sense Party]

86. But...but...if you take away our Hate, DU ceases to exist!

I'm only half joking. On many threads, it seems that searing, blinding hate of Repiblicans is the ONLY thing DUers have in common.

[Ariana Celeste]

79. People I love are all over the political spectrum

Granted I'm farther left than any of em, except maybe my cousin. I can't stop loving my friends and family because of who they vote for, or for having differing opinions. That's just taking it way too far.
I'll talk to them about issues, and we generally will find common ground. And if not, we find a subject we agree on, and expand upon that.
My dad is conservative. When I talk to him, I don't think about his support for Bush. I think about the times as a little girl that I would step on his toes and 'dance' with him to old country and blues songs. I think about the huge waffle and pancake breakfasts he would make for us kids.
That's just one example of many. I value a helluva lot more in people than just their politics. And it will take much, much more, than a vote for someone I disagree with, to make me dislike or hate anyone. It's just not in me to give up friends and family over something like that.

[Snarkturian Clone]

80. I'm glad someone finally said this.

Some of the replies on this thread are pretty fucking disgusting. I take the opinions of people who proudly proclaim hate for repubs much less seriously... they're no different than any other type of bigot- hate for hate's sake... hate based on stereotypes... prejudgment of people based on nothing other than one issue.

I have lots of people in my life that are republicans. I'm supposed to hate their guts just because of their politics?

[Common Sense Party]

87. Amen. I know progressives that are reprehensible, too.

And some Republicans that are pretty great.

Life is too short to hate people.

[otohara]

81. Will Marriage Improve Your Mom's Life

will she be better off financially? Growing old is a drag, growing old alone is worse especially if you don't have the bucks to feel secure. I have many women acquaintances who are single and scared about their future. Health, and health care, fear of age discrimination at work place, money etc.

I would hold my nose but accept the boyfriend if it will make your mom's life more comfortable.

[Throd]

83. With that attitude you are guaranteed to be miserable for life.

[SteppingRazor]

84. Given that almost everyone in my family is Republican, as are many of my friends...

no, I really don't have a hatred of them. Sure, I dislike a lot of the GOP's elected officials, but I hardly blame all Republicans for things like, say, melting ice caps. That, after all, is the fault of all of us.

[Kajsa]

88. This might help.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=3515875&mesg_id=3515875


It sure got me thinking in a different perspective.

Hang in there.

:hi:

Neither my Repub brother or mother would be caught
dead seeing a Michael Moore documentary.
Give the guy some credit.

[ileus]

89. hate is a feeling I don't really get, and I can't change hate so...

fuck it!

[Brewman_Jax]

90. Nope

No problem here.

[DarkTirade]

92. Just the ones that support shrub.

I don't mind if someone has a different idea on how best to run the country... but when they support an incompetent mass murdering alcoholic for the highest office in the country, then I gotta say "Hang on a minute..."

[The Onyx Key]

93. WOW! There are some seriously disturbed people around here.

My father was a republican (he passed in 2001), and was an extremely bright and sensible man. We had to avoid talking politics, however, although sometimes we'd have some healthy debates and respectful disagreements. Same with some of my friends.

The hating will destroy your soul...if it hasn't already.