Finally: Clinical help for ear worms.

[WileEcoyote]

"Ear worm": A song repeatedly stuck in the thought processes of a human. Characterized by the inability to stop hearing the tune in the imagination.

Usually, though not always associated with certain nauseating, simple, stupid, unsophisticated and sappy songs from the 1970's era. Left untreated can cause distraction, disturbance at work and play, and the desire to take revenge on the person who suggested the tune in the first place"

Cures? Well there is no known cure. Treatment generally revolves around diagnosis and the substitution of a less unpleasant or distracting song in replacement.

Example of non threatening "ear worms":

Certain Neil Diamond songs like "Hot August Night".

"Kentucky Rain" as sung by Elvis Presley.


Threatening tunes:

Anything by,

Captain & Tennille
Morris Albert
Anne Murray
Partridge Family

Potentially deadly:

Anything sung by Maureen McGovern or Paul Anka.

It is recommended that one NOT play any ear worm in various lounge juke boxes associated with bikers, rednecks or conversely an inner city African American populace. Intentionally playing of these songs in a public places has caused countless bar fights, indigestion and just a plain lousy evening for everyone involved.


So what I do is every time I hear a song from the Partridge family or worse I substitute a less offensive song from Neil Diamond. Some would regard even Neil as vile purveyor of sappiness. However I'm less bothered by him. It is up to the individual to find his/her own replacement "worm".

This is the only known treatment as no cure exists.

And if given a choice to hear "Love, Brother Love Sing Brother Love's Travellin' Salvation Show" a hundred thousand times an after noon?

Well it's a lot better than enduring: "On a Pony She Named Wildfire"

"I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing"

"Having My Baby".


Tag, you're it!