Need dating advice

[blue cat]

I've been dating someone for about 7 months who I met on a dating site. We get along great and see each other every week. The problem is that he won't take his profile offline. He says he is still looking around, but when asked he says he still wants to see me but can't promise anything about the future. Should I give up or hang in there? I really have a lot of feelings for him so it would be very hard to stop seeing him. Thanks for any advice.

[Heidi]

1. It sounds like you want an exclusive relationship and he doesn't.

But here's the good news: this means you can date other people and still continue seeing him. :hi:

[blue cat]

4. Have you heard of a guy

coming around and wanting a serious relationship after not wanting one for many months? I think that he is addicted to dating sites. I just am not ready to let him go.

[taterguy]

2. You probably don't have a future so just decide if you want to enjoy it while it lasts

I dated someone who said she didn't foresee a future with me. It was a long distance relationship and we had a great time for two years.

She dumped me for someone closer. Eventually I found out she had been cheating on me earlier, which I only cared about because of the health issue.

When it ends it will hurt but you'll get over it and find someone new, someone that's better.

YMMV of course

[blue cat]

3. What does

YMMV mean?

[achtung_circus]

5. YMMV=

Your Mileage May Vary.

Individuals are just that, each unique case is just that.

[Crazy Dave]

6. 7 months is what I would consider enough time

I don't like people who play stupid games with me and likewise I don't like playing games with them. Whether it's a new job or relationship I can usually tell if things are going to work out within two weeks or a month. Sometimes sooner.

Still "looking around" (translation: sleeping around) should be considered an insult.

[blue cat]

7. Could it be he is just commitment phobic?

He says that he only sees one woman at a time, but still likes to see what is out there just in case. I don't have the strength to break up yet. He says that he still wants to see me.

[taterguy]

8. No man is commitment phobic

Sorry but I'll be brutally honest. I don't know enough of about the situation but I suspect that he thinks somewhere out there is a person (I don't even know your gender) who he would rather spend the rest of his life with. Who knows why. Maybe he just doesn't like your taste in music or some other relatively trivial thing.

It might happen tomorrow.

It might happen in five years but be prepared for that possibility.

I also suspect that you're much stronger than you think you are.

[SarahB]

11. I agree with you.

He's trying to keep his options open because he thinks he can do better. The truth is the OP can do better. She needs to stop being a doormat, tell him that she wants an exclusive relationship with someone who wants the same thing and he's not that person. If one allows a person to treat you this way, it's like saying one is fine with simply being used. It's always better to be alone than to have a relationship with someone who already has one foot out the door.

[blue cat]

12. I am being a doormat

but it hurts too much to let him go. I may date him a little longer while looking for someone else. But I'm afraid that I will always hope that he will come around but chances are that he won't.

[SarahB]

14. I'm sorry.

:hug:

If this guy isn't treating you as well as you deserve to be treated, I hope you find the stregth to let go. You can do better!

[achtung_circus]

9. In case?

In case of what? I'm "dating", too. But I regard myself as a serial monogamist, one at at time thank you, otherwise it's confusing and unfair.

I don't need to know, but if you are sleeping with him and getting this attitude, and let there be no doubt that it's attitude, he's a player.

Cut your losses.

on edit: YMMV

:hi:

[Deja Q]

10. Tough call

7 months should be enough time to determine the future course of the relationship.

Some would fathom "Better feel a little hurt now than much more later".

You've asked him, he has responded why he keeps his ad up.

It may be time to move on.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. i would start dating other people too. that way you too know whats out there.

but thats just me.

i dont want to sound harsh, but this seemed like a paragraph from the book "he's just not that into you"

[YDogg]

15. kick him to the curb. for all of the reasons already mentioned.

On the most basic level, it sounds as though he does not respect you. If you were my daughter, I'd tell you the same thing. Only I'd be a tad bit more direct.

[Phillycat]

16. The relationship is over, you just haven't admitted it yet.

Might as well get honest with yourself now. He doesn't love you and he's never going to. I say this as a woman who's been there. Believe me.

The difference between being in a relationship with a man who's capable of loving you and one who isn't is truly night and day. You will NEVER have to wonder. I promise.