DU men: have you ever rejected a woman's advances?

[RandomKoolzip]

I have.

I had the opportunity to have sex with a young woman who was being very verbally and physically aggressive, but I was really high on strong marijuana and wanted to watch "Space Ghost" instead. (no, seriously!)

Later that night we hugged outside, under the stars, and I tried my best to assuage her hurt feelings. We remained good friends after that.


Any simlar stories? Ever play "hard to get" with a woman? Do you like it when a woman pursues you, and not the other way around? (I know *I* do)

[Deja Q]

1. If you include being lunged at by a horny woman in a foyer, then, um, yes...

I'll spare any extra details for now.

[RandomKoolzip]

2. Was she brandishing a weapon at the time?

[Deja Q]

4. Her fingernails

But I certainly didn't feel all warm and comfy at the time.

Of course, this did happen some 20 years ago... (Feb 1987)

[KG]

3. only momentarily. didn't want them to think i was an easy lay, even tho i am.

:hi:

[jpgray]

5. Yep.

[SOteric]

29. Hey.

I was doing fine until I pulled out the man-sized kitty litter box and asked you to wear the duct tape boxers.

[Pierre.Suave]

6. Yes, I had to

back in college one of my roommates had friends over and 2 of the girls, drunk, came up to my room and wanted to have sex. They were VERY aggressive, I literally had to push her off me.

When she asked why, I said it was because I had a GF, even though there was another reason as well, it was that I was not attracted to her at all, but I was being nice.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. hey, i've rejected a womans advance. i wanna vote!!!

stomps feet and cries.

[redqueen]

19. Same here!

*stomp! stomp! stomp!*

:cry:

[tigereye]

8. sorry, I'm nebbing, Kool Zip

I think it's cool that you wanted to watch Space Ghost instead. Sounds like many guys I knew in the past....

:hi:

how are ya?



on edit, do men like women to be aggressive, or not? :shrug: suppose it depends on the guy, not surprisingly.

[MrScorpio]

9. Amazingly so, I have

Why they would come on to me is anyone's guess

[bluedigger]

10. Sure, what's the big deal?

Oh, I get it. Men have no control over their sexual urges. Right. I've turned down quite a few offers, for various reasons. And in retrospect, some of those decisions I now regret - what the hell was I thinking?:banghead:

Of course, some of those offers I accepted were mistakes too... :beer:

Never turned down sex for "Space Ghost", though..."Space Ghost?" :crazy:

(OK,there was a Yankees-Red Sox playoff game in 2003!) :D

[NewJeffCT]

11. I've often intended to reject a woman's advances

but, it usually hasn't worked out that way in practice.

I did turn down a stripper who said I could have my way with her if I took her on a nice Caribbean vacation... but, I wasn't really sure how real of an offer it was, even though I did know her a little bit more than the typical stripper-strippee relationship.

[redqueen]

20. wouldn't that change her title from 'stripper' to 'whore'?

not that there's anything wrong with that!

[NewJeffCT]

58. You're right

Didn't really think of it that way at the time - I was probably too busy staring at her chest - but, you're right. And, I guess turning down a "whore" doesn't really count.

I was actually more concerned that since she was from Puerto Rico originally, if we got down there, she would have some of her "brothers" kick the shit out of me.

[regularguy]

12. Yes, but

I usually only realize I did after the fact. :shrug: Often I wish a hadn't.

[enigmatic]

13. yes n/t

[BreweryYardRat]

14. Only once that I know of.

Mind you, there may have been a few more that I don't know about, and it was really more turning down a relationship than just sex.

Shame. She was pretty cute, looks-wise, but

a: She looked like a younger version of a friend of my mom's, who creeped/creeps me out.

b: We were both in high school at the time, and I was living with my mom during that particular year of high school. My mom's a grade-A headcase. If I'd dated that girl, and we'd done anything beyond kiss, my dear sweet mother would have probably beaten the poor girl to death with a frying pan for "stealing my innocence" or some shit like that.

Edit: No, I take it back, there was one more. But she was a real stuck-up little bitch -- I put the kibosh on that when I cussed her out for taunting a friend of mine. Yeah, he wasn't very bright, but he wasn't a retard, and he was eager to learn, which is more than could be said for her.

[NewJeffCT]

16. Something like that happened to me once

I met this really nice woman who had just finished up either her medical residency or internship (whatever comes first after you graduate from an Ivy League med school...) But, she was looking for an intelligent guy, but one that wouldn't mind staying home to raise children while she concentrated on her career as a doctor. Looking back now at having put in so many hours working these past 10-11 years, that would have been a dream to be able to stay at home.

However, she looked almost exactly like an attractive and younger version of my aunt, and my aunt is a real religious fanatic and I couldn't get over that. While I was out with her, I kept picturing my aunt asking everybody to join hands to say "grace" at a family holiday get together.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

15. Sure, I've rejected a few women.

But not nearly as many as have rebuffed my advances.

All things considered, I prefer gin.

[Mountainman]

17. Yes, way back when I was much younger and much better looking.

It's seems funny to me now that I am so much older. I use to live in Los Angeles in the 80's. I was between marriages. It was easy for me to get a date and usually I was the one being asked out. I turned down a lot of offers because I didn't think we would have a fun time.

Now I don't think I'd ever get the chance.

[Norwood]

18. Just a couple of times

A girl I use to have a "friends with benefits" type relationship with stopped by for a visit and something almost happened. I was dating someone at the time so I stopped it and turned her down. I regret stopping it now since my ex and I had a not so pleasant breakup a couple months later anyway. The other girl I turned down would have been a long distance thing. I was gonna give it a shot but I changed my mind when I started getting I love you emails, it kinda freaked me out. Thats all theres been though, Im usually game if Im single and the other persons interested.

[cobalt1999]

21. I'm one of the few men in the world that turned down a threesome with 2 female co-workers

Of course that was back in my single 20's days.

I turned them down because 1) I had no idea how to handle two women at once, and 2) How was I going to be able to work in the same office with them afterwards.

Looking back, maybe I should have gone for it.

[flvegan]

22. Yes, several

[johnnie]

23. Sure

There was a time when that used to happen. It's been a while since I have had that opportunity. x(

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. Yes, a few times with different women.

Mostly women I wasn't at all interested in, sadly, so saying "no" was not only easy, it was a matter of survival. But there were a couple that I very much liked, and would have loved to shag, but random sex is not my nature so I've always said no.

[SOteric]

30. Yeah.

But how do you think I feel that you turned me down but were willing to shag matcom? x(

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. Hey - that was a necessary evil! I was totally out of Funyuns.

If it's any consolation, I pretended I was you.

:dilemma:

[SOteric]

63. You shagged matcom

pretending you were me?


:shrug:

Well.

That would have been the best shag of matcom's sad little life.

[Rabrrrrrr]

65. That's what he said.

:thumbsup:

[dembotoz]

25. yes,but I did not realize it at the time

sometimes, actually rather often really, I am really really really dense.
Like a brick,,STUPID

and now i am old and fat
Does the opportunity happen now???
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

damn damn damn

[DarkTirade]

36. I was there once when my brother did that

when I mentioned that years later he looked back and realized it. :) There were three girls hitting on the two of us... and only one of those three girls seemed interested in me. And he just brushed them off without realizing it.

Of course, it was also possible that they were under 21 and just hoping we'd buy them booze too... they looked kinda young. But who knows? :)

[Auggie]

26. Many times. Still kicking myself over it too. Again and again and again and...

[EstimatedProphet]

27. Yes - not playing hard to get; I just knew it would be damaging

[terrya]

28. I've never been the recipient of a woman's advances.

I guess I put out that gay vibe pretty strongly. :-)

[matcom]

31. yes and SOteric was PISSED!

:hide:

[SOteric]

62. Tsk. Dude.

They're talking about reality here, not your pathetic dreamlife.

[datasuspect]

32. i'm a tramp

i ain't never turnt away no nekkid ladies

[sanguinivorous]

33. I've never had any woman express any interest in me...

...to the point where I guy I used to work with once said to me (after an average-looking woman in the cafeteria had been flirting with him), "Don't you hate it when ugly women hit on you?", and all I could reply with is, "I wouldn't know."

[GirlinContempt]

34. I call shenanigans

[DarkTirade]

35. Yeah, met a girl online who I really got along with and everything

but when I finally met her... well, let's just say the only reason I tried to give it a shot was to prove to myself that I'm not shallow. I finally had to admit that I'm not that shallow... she was just THAT ugly. I really felt bad about it too, but we ended up being 'just friends' so it worked out.

It wasn't even just a lack of being attracted to her... it was really the opposite of attraction. I guess I'd have to call it repulsion. Nice girl, got along with her great... I just could not be attracted to her. It would have been physically impossible to do anything intimate with her. Guys can't fake it. Either the equipment works or it doesn't, and with her anywhere in the room, it wasn't gonna work.

I've had a few other instances where I've turned down people's advances, but most of them were just offand things.

[GirlinContempt]

39. You didn't get a picture first?

[DarkTirade]

49. Tiny thumbnail from several years before.

By the time I saw a full-sized picture I'd already agreed to meet her. :P Besides, like I said, I really got along with her. I thought it might work anyway. I didn't want to shoot someone down just because the pictures didn't look good. Especially someone who I had that many common interests with and got along with well.

I guess I just have to admit that there's just a certain level where I have to label myself as 'shallow'... because there's a certain level where I'm not just attracted to someone. Can't really be helped.

[JTG of the PRB]

37. As soon as a woman makes an advance on me I'll let you know what I do.

So far it hasn't come up... SIGH.

[smoogatz]

38. A few times.

Almost always because I was with someone else at the time. There were a few other times I should have but didn't.

[Bryan]

40. There was no category for "maybe"

Women are subtle and I'm oblivious. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there were a few occasions where a woman thought she was giving out every signal short of skywriting and I just completely brushed her off without knowing it.

[Omphaloskepsis]

41. Yeah, she was 14.

I try to avoid fucking children.

[DarkTirade]

50. Details, details...

Some people are just so picky...

(I sincerely hope I don't need to add the sarcasm smiley here. :) )

[davsand]

42. I always wondered if it freaked out guys to get hit on by a woman.

Back when I was single, I used to think that men (in general) were freaked out if a woman hit on them in any overt way. You all do realize that women don't want to be branded a whore-right? You have got to know that fear comes into play when a woman does make the effort and gets shot down. (Just think--all you guys that admit to saying no have done much to damage other men's opportunities!)

:evilgrin:

In retrospect, however, I also think that even when I was doing everything short of screaming "Take me now!!!" (at least in my mind, anyhow--never got THAT bold) I was probably too subtle for some guys to even realize I WAS hitting on them.



I swear it amazes hell out of me that anybody ever gets laid because both genders are just too screwed up to relax and have fun.



Laura

[Evoman]

53. Being hit on by woman is one of the greatest pleasures in life.

Are you kidding? Its awesome.

Its also a double-edged sword. Part of the advantage of being the aggressor, is being able to choose who YOU like. Yeah, rejection sucks, but you get to pick who rejects you.

However, when you get hit on by a woman you like or who is attractive, its a VERY good thing. A verrrrry good thing. When shes not attractive.....not so much.

[RetroLounge]

43. Yes, several times recently

wouldn't be fair to them and would just make me miserable...

RL

[mentalsolstice]

44. My husband and me 17 years ago?

Uhhhhhmmmm, was there a problem?

[TommyO]

45. I'm gay, you non-inclusive homophobic twit

but I definitely appreciate it when a woman hits on me, it means I'm doing something right.

[DBoon]

47. Similar to yours

but I was high on LSD

Nothing like being attacked by a woman the one time I absolutely had no interest!

[Mythsaje]

51. Sex on acid is incredible.

Lack of interest while flying was never my problem.

[SteppingRazor]

48. Of course, I mean, if you're not attracted to a woman....

whattaya gonna do? :shrug:

[Evoman]

52. Yeah...I've turned down some girls. Even fairly pretty girls.

Some situations:

1) Drunk girls: I've been propositioned by many a drunk girl. And I've universally turned them down. I will, under no circumstances, do anything with a drunk girl. Both for her protection (what if she regrets it later?) and mine. Even if I'm drunk, its a big no no.

2)High girls: same thing.

3)Crazy girls: Some girls are insane. You just get this feeling that if you going out with them, your going to either end up with a baby, a criminal record, or a big boyfriend fist in your face. Stay away if you have ANY doubs.

5)Unnattractive or uninteresting. I've turned down a girl I felt was unnattractive, and I have turned down another (who made it clear I would get lucky) because she changed our date last minute (a big no no), and instead of going for coffee, we went to one of her friends birthday parties. She had the lamest friends, who played the lamest party games, and I wanted to fucking kill myself. She didn't have an interesting thought in her head. After I drove her home, she invited me in. I pretended I was tired, and got the hell away.

[Awsi Dooger]

54. Three times that I remember

Twice in college. One was a skinny horny freshman blonde who was kind of a groupie in the student newspaper office. At a staff party late in the year she was all over me to the point I saw an entire couch of people laughing at how aggressive she was. The girl made it clear I was a consolation prize. Another guy on the staff had turned her down. She actually whispered in my ear, "Since Mr. Striped Shirt doesn't want me tonight, you can have me."

That girl was ordinary looking and seemingly a tramp so I've never regretted it. But a year earlier I passed when a gorgeous classy blonde propositioned me leaving a sports bar, where our class had gathered after class ended, late in the semester. I had a bad break that day in terms of losing an expected promotion for the following semester on the student newspaper. The topic came up in class and there was plenty of sympathy. At the sports bar, the blonde got drunk and started winking at me very noticeably. My friend kept nudging me and asking if I realized it. Sure I did, but I was pursuing someone else. "We've got to console Gary." She also said several times that her boyfriend was out of town for a week. When I went to the bathroom I came out to see the blonde standing outside the men's room. "Would you like a ride to my place?" I hesitated but said no. Damn she was pretty and had an awesome chest but for some reason I wasn't really attracted to blondes at that point. Walking outside about an hour later she asked me again, and I can still picture her reaction and hear the drawn out and very surprised, "OOOkaaaay," when I declined.

Number three was hysterical. Early '90s at the old Aladdin in Las Vegas. I was playing flawed poker machines at that point, ones that paid too many coins. A friend of mine had discovered the opportunity and was finding them all over town. That's when poker machines exploded in popularity and every casino had dozens if not hundreds. One particular type would malfunction and sometimes spit out too many coins. All you had to do was play and check. I would run up to 40 credits, for example, and cash out. If it paid 40 I'd check the next one. But if it paid 43 or 45 or 48, whatever, I'd be there until they fixed it, sometimes weeks or months. It was like a bank and you weren't doing anything wrong, just playing a machine. Anyway, one night a 35ish woman from Wisconsin who I had met in the sportsbook sat down next to me. She was in town with one of her girlfriends for a week. The other girl had hooked up with some local guy and this one was eager to follow suit. She was smack off the bar stool when she sat down next to me. Very quickly she started talking about watching animals screwing on TV, and how much she would like to do Fred Couples. I knew what she was getting at but I needed the damn money and that machine was going to be worth $400+ if I took two fills that night. I didn't like to take two fills on the same shift so you had to wait for a change. She was grabbing my leg and asking me if I had ever been to one of the Aladdin hotel rooms, meanwhile I'm focusing on the stupid quarters. Finally she abandoned me when the bar filled up with young guys. I saw her leave with one about 20 minutes later.

[Guava Jelly]

55. I'll let you know if i ever get any

:mad:

[TZ]

61. I find that hard to believe

As a woman who has been on the other end of this (yes a rejectee when I aggressively threw myself at someone) hard for me to believe someone as funny and charming as you haven't had the opportunity....It amazes me sometimes how many women can overlook some really wonderful guys and you strike me as a true nice guy something this world needs much more of.....

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

56. i'm daft in this game

i probably wouldn't get it short of direct voiced interest in me. Which happens so much as never...

Yes someone showing interest in me would be very nice for a change. But then why should they? most decent looking and interesting women are hit on so many times they can pick and choose more than they want, why should they make such an effort themselves?

[bikebloke]

57. Yeah, but I''m a freak magnet.

I finally reached the point where if a woman fancied me, I'd ask myself what's wrong with her. And I'm sure my caution allowed a few nice normal women pass by.

Back when I used to go out Friday nights, there was this one blonde who took a fancy to me. Ouwardly she was attractive. But the vibe screamed, RUN AWAY!!!!. I had learned to trust my intuition during my world travels - it was always right. Crikey, she was even trying to take photos of me.

In the Negev Desert, there was this Irish lass who fancied me. And she was nice when she was sober. But that wasn't often.

[diello]

59. For some reason it's happened a lot more to me

recently. 

I love aggressive women. There's nothing in the world like it.
:)

I have a very aggressive girl that tries every time we see
each other. My responses have been mixed as I just had a very
bad breakup with a co-worker that was also very aggressive in
the beginning.

To anyone out there considering the coworker thing - don't do
it! 

[Wapsie B]

60. I have misread the advances of women many times,

thinking that asking me out for drinks was merely an act of friendship. Other times what I thought were romantic advances by a woman were only acts of friendship. Depression and passive-aggressive tendencies mixed things up too.

[GalleryGod]

64. You teach 48-60 College age women each year

yer gonna get lotsa advances....all though gratifying and tempting, I've never accepted an advance. Their parents send their children to us, "in trust"....it's a heady responsibility. We teach/ They learn.

[baldguy]

66. The only women who seem to be attracted to me are fucking insane.

The only women I seem to be attracted to hate me on sight.

[yurbud]

67. yep. In theory, we're supposed to want it in any way, shape, or form but sometimes...

the person asking just isn't that appetizing.

Also, I'm always concerned if I do someone I don't care about, I'll start to care about them or they about me when we aren't a good match.

[DerekG]

68. I'm usually blind to any woman's signals

I was belittled by a fair number of girls in High School; I've since assumed an almost priestly disposition. Only in retrospect have I deduced the flirtations.

My sister never could figure out why I'd gone through college without a single girlfriend, despite having the mien of a young Liam Neeson.

[HEyHEY]

69. Everytime your mom's around

Seriously though, yeah, some woman with a mullet and other gross features tried to pants me in a pub then flat out asked if I wanted to go out back and fuck.
If she didn't look like that, I'd of been all for it.

My friend made a good point though. "Jeremy," he said." You're not a man until you fuck something like that."

I ran out of the bar.