Please help. My upstairs neighbor makes so much noise all the time and I don't know what I can do

[rockymountaindem]

Hello all,

I have recently moved into an eighty year old brick apartment building as I've started grad school. For such an old building, I have to say my spot here is pretty nice, except for one glaring exception. I don't know if it's because the wood floors are so old or what, but I can hear everything the guy upstairs does, all the time. For starters, it sounds like he's wearing ski boots every time he walks around. I can also hear every time he closes a cabinet door. What's worse, it seriously sounds like he's moving furniture around up there all the time. Like, every hour there are a couple long, very loud, scraping sounds coming from up there, like he's pushing a sofa across the uncarpeted floor.

This goes on all the time. I've practically had to adapt to this person's schedule. He's woken me up before seven o'clock on a couple of occasions (I've been living here for 10 days), which is really annoying because I only have class at 9 one day per week. It doesn't stop until about 1am every night. I can hear it over the TV, over my headphones plugged into the computer, and it makes my desk vibrate sometimes because it's radiating through the walls and *my* floor. I seriously don't think this person ever sits down. Whenever he's home, it's constant like he's giving his house a full cleaning all the time. Here's the best part: one morning he woke me up at 6:30 and I went up to find out if I could hear it in the upstairs hallway. Well, when I got up there I heard this jingling sound coming from behind his door like he was shaking a bunch of silverware around in a giant bag. Who makes that kind of noise before 7am? As you can tell, I've had my fill.

I don't know what I can do about it. If he's just acting normally, and it's just that the old floor transmits all the sound, then I'm probably stuck with this. If he's really walking around in ski boots and making ridiculous noise for no reason, how am I going to get him to stop? Anybody have any advice?

[Wcross]

1. It sounds like they need to put cork flooring down upstairs & insulate.

It probably isn't the upstairs tenant's fault that you hear it, it sounds like the landlord needs to address it. Ask the landlord about it, either they fix the problem or you break the lease. Remind them that they will continue to have vacancy problems unless they address it.

[rockymountaindem]

2. I don't think I can break the lease

In that, beyond the fact that the landlord would probably contest it, I don't want to move and I don't think I could move right now anyway. It's the middle of the school year and everything I could afford is probably full up. For that same reason, I don't think the landlord is going to bust into that apartment and rip up the floor, even if they wanted to do something, until the summer.

I have to say that the management company in this building has been very responsive and has done everything I've asked them to. Well, some things are still pending, if you will, but they haven't said no about making some repairs/replacements and helping me spruce up the place. I am going to call them tomorrow, but what you describe wouldn't be in the cards, in my prediction.

[Bullwinkle925]

4. Have you formally met this neighbor?

Do you think that if you talk with him it might help?

:shrug:

[rockymountaindem]

6. No

I'm going to call the management first and see if they have some kind of quick fix (like buying the guy a floor rug if he wants one) before I go up there and basically ask him to not walk around so much, which is kind of a demanding request. If not, I guess I'll be having a face-to-face with this guy.

[Bullwinkle925]

3. Definitely contact your landlord . . .

I agree with Wcross - break your lease if you must. But, do have a conversation with the landlord to make your concerns known.

[lizziegrace]

5. Check your lease for the

"peaceful enjoyment" language. Also look for any "no loud noise after..."

I feel for you. I lived next door to 3 guys in their early twenties who worked at a bar at night. The party came home with them at 2:30 when the bars closed and they said *I* was being unreasonable.

[rockymountaindem]

9. What blows my mind is how much walking around he's doing in a small space

I'm assuming his apartment is of the same dimensions as mine since we're both at the back end of the building and he's right above me. I mean, here I am in a 600 sq. foot apartment, and when I'm home I hardly move around at all. I'm either sleeping in bed, reading or watching TV on the sofa, or working here on the computer. The only time I'm up and around is when I'm cooking or getting dressed. That's like, 5% of the time. Whoever this is *constantly* walks around up there. I can't imagine where he's going or what he's doing. He *doesn't* sit still at all. I don't know how he does it on five hours of sleep either.

[Patiod]

33. My roommates did that to me once

They worked at a bar, and I worked at a deli that opened at 7am. They had several speakers in *my* bedroom, which they used as the "getting high" room while I was at work.

After asking once for them to knock it off, I came out in a nightgown, glared at the entire staff of "Phil's Rock Room", pulled the plug on the stereo (yeah, I'm old) cut all the speaker cords, and went back to bed.

After that, no one wanted to come back and party at the house with the Scary Amazon with Scissors, so it worked for me.

[Downtown Hound]

7. Have you tried killing him?

A heh, heh, I'm just kidding. A quick google search will turn up all kinds of methods for soundproofing your walls or ceiling, and some of them are actually pretty simple and don't require lots of money or ripping your walls up.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. You might invest in a white noise machine...

It can help.

I had that problem in college for awhile. My upstairs neighbor broke her leg horribly, and had this huge cast. There wasn't a damn thing she could do about it, so I didn't complain. I got a small white noise machine, and it helped; though it didn't completely eliminate the noise. Good luck! :hi:

[Wcross]

10. Renting really sucks but you are paying your dues Rocky.

I rented for many years before I bought my home. I lived in a 20 year old rented trailer for 5 years in order to be able to buy my perfect place on my own terms. I remember one place where I knew when the neighbors boyfriend was visiting because their bed made so much noise. I lived in a fourplex next to a family who would not let their kid play outside. He was loud! I worked nights and woke often with his running and banging on the walls. Hell, I lived in the same room as 70 other guys at Marine Corps boot camp. What I have found is that the annoyance makes you work that much harder to improve your life. Don't let the noise get to you, you will survive.

BTW- Do talk to the landlord, there has to be something that can be done to reduce the noise. Ask the landlord why he is always having to find a tenant for the unit you live in. Trust me, nobody renews their lease in that apartment.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

11. Have you talked to him about it? Pointed out that you can hear...

just about everything? If he's not a total asshole, perhaps he'll make an effort to be quiet. Check your lease to see what it says about floor covering (shouldn't a certain % be covered?) and noise. Talk to your landlord.

I've been through similar so I can honestly say "I feel your pain."

[jus_the_facts]

12. You have to move....and always remember to NEVER get the downstairs apartment next time....

....I lived in a brand spankin' new apartment building and you could hear EVERYTHING too...even them takin' a shit...never EVER take a downstairs apartment unless you're deaf or severely hard of hearing.

[rockymountaindem]

14. I didn't really have a choice

Firstly, I wouldn't necessarily call this a "downstairs" apartment because it's a five story building. There are places in the basement and I know better than to live down there. I have to go down there for laundry and it's pretty sketchy by my standards, so that would have been out. The problem is that I wanted to move into this student area because it's close to campus and relatively inexpensive. We're talking about Boston here so nowhere was going to be cheap, but I needed to minimize the damage in the category. Secondly, with all the kids who want to move into this neighborhood, situated between BU, BC, Northeastern and the Colleges of the Fenway, there was a lot of demand. Though I tried to get into town early, the place was swarming with people like me looking for apartments. The first one I wanted to rent was already taken by the time we got back to the office. So, when I saw this one I had to make up my mind in about 5 minutes. In addition, since I was only in town for four days and I needed one day for all the business to work out, I didn't have a lot of time to look around. Like I said, everything else is fine. It's in decent shape, roomy, and not insanely expensive. It's also close to transportation, unlike the first one I wanted, which is key.

So, for the same reason I was pretty much forced to take this apartment, I can't move. First of all, if you knew all the hassles I had to go through buying stuff for this apartment and getting it delivered here, you'd understand why I don't want to move. Secondly, I'd have to pay a mover because I don't know anybody in town who would help me with a move. Thirdly, *everything's* taken and I probably couldn't find a better place than this anyway. If I can't get them to get the noise under control, I'm stuck 'till next year anyway.

[jus_the_facts]

17. Damn....sorry to hear that....I totally understand though....

....I lived in the apartment I spoke of for 6 LOOOONG years and I thought I'd go absolutely outta my mind...because it was low income based FHA the neighbors got progressively worse...I was leary of livin' in the next apartment though because I was upstairs and didn't want to be a day/nightmare to the people livin' below me...but I learned from my horrific experience to be more conciderate....now I'm in a single story duplex and I wish the woman next door could learn how to not slam every.single.door. she goes through...SIGH...but that's apartment livin' for you....good luck!! :hi:

[Hawkeye-X]

26. That would be me.

I'm a perfect neighbor!

Deaf here :)

[NJCher]

13. a few thoughts

Based on your response in post 2, I don't think you're going to do much of anything about this situation except endure it. My two cents is that you should be more demanding of the landlord, like some of the other posters on this thread have pointed out. You absolutely have the right to some quiet and this sounds like an abnormal situation.

I'm a landlord myself and I'd much rather a tenant come talk to me rather than try to solve the problem themselves. Or just leave. I'll do a lot for a good tenant because they are so few and far between.

I wouldn't go talk to the guy about it because I have done this on numerous occasions and it doesn't work, no matter how nice you are or how skillful you are with interpersonal communication. I've learned that most people get their backs up when requested to do even the slightest little thing out of the ordinary, especially for a total stranger or gasp, gasp, even a neighbor. That's just the way people are today. Hey, 30-years of mostly republican rule and that's what you get--a country full of selfish "I've got my rights" types.

I wear a set of earplugs around my neck at all times and just put them in when the noise gets to be too much. I also use my iPod to camouflage the noise. These might work for you in the short term, maybe while your landlord comes up with a solution like the rug one.

I really feel for you. I've been there and it sucks. Keep us posted on your solution.



Cher

[rockymountaindem]

15. I should say something about the management company

That thing is, they're really good (so far). For instance, I said that two of my interior doorknobs on closets were in bad shape. So, they came down and replaced all four of them the next day. They replaced three ripped screens on my windows ASAP. They gave me a brand new ceiling fan when I moved in because the old one just looked bad. I didn't even ask for that. They also sent someone to help me hang some curtains I bought, which they didn't have to do. They even helped me address a complaint about noise coming from a neighboring building that they have nothing to do with (apparently I live right next to some kind of garage band practice facility... that's not a joke). I always see their maintenance and cleaning staff around here, probably every other day (I guess that's normal for a place with approx. 60 apartments, though). So, I'm not saying they won't help. They'll probably do what they can.

The reason I'm kind of at my wits' end is because I have let it slide for a week and it's really been driving me nuts over the weekend. I've been hesitant to talk to the guy about it for the reasons you mention. Originally I thought he was moving in and that's why I heard all the dragging noises. I guess not. Then I thought I'd see if it was an everyday thing. It is. By then it was Friday evening and since I don't want to call the "emergency maintenance" line about this, I've had to wait all weekend to talk to the management office. So, I'm a little exasperated, is all.

[Skittles]

16. please talk to him

sometimes people just don't know how much noise they make......I remember years ago feeling mortified when my downstairs neighor metnioned in a conversation that he heard me stomping up the stairs each night at midnight when I came home from work....after that I tip-toed up.

[JVS]

19. You were Mortified? You didn't just kick his ass? Wow

;-)

[Skittles]

20. naw, he was a nice elderly disabled gentleman

yes INDEED

[WildEyedLiberal]

18. Dude, did you move into my old apartment?

Sounds exactly like my old upstairs neighbor. I called the cops on them a couple of times because it literally sounded like they were throwing furniture against the wall a few nights.

I feel for you - nothing SUCKS like having a constantly noisy neighbor.

[libodem]

21. A guy I used to know

always referred to his upstairs neighbor as 'stompy'.

[HamdenRice]

22. Put stereo speakers in the top of your closet. Play Nirvana full blast at 4 am

I had an upstairs neighbor like that once. The problem was both constant furniture dragging and incredibly loud music at all hours. It is more difficult for noise to travel from an downstairs apartment to an upstairs apartment than vice versa, but I discovered that the top of one tall bedroom closet of mine was practically next to his bed.

Since I couldn't reason with him, I decided to show him what I was experiencing. I put my speakers on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. I set my alarm for 4 am. I played Nirvana full blast for about 15 minutes. Then I chilled out. At about 5 am I did it again. This went on for a few days.

He called me up complaining about the noise.

It is at this point that you need to create your most guileless, sarcastic, ironic response -- something like, but I thought the ground rules were that everyone is allowed to be as noisy as they like at any time of day or night they like.

[rockymountaindem]

23. UPDATE:

The management company says they're going to get to the bottom of this. No questions asked. They're going to have the man in charge call me back later with some more information.

[LeftyMom]

24. That's good

Future advice (I used to be a property manager): either submit your complaints in writing first or send a follow-up in writing mentioning the date of the oral notice of a problem (ie: I told Alice Smith on August 23 that my AC unit needed service) and send the notice certified mail so you have proof of the date of mailing. That way if you have a dispute or try to get out of you lease they can't do the "why didn't you tell us there was a problem?" thing.

[Erva]

25. Great advice

Document, document, document. You need everything in writing and dated.

[Hawkeye-X]

27. Great! Keep us posted.. you could always move back here

and live in the basement - we're very quiet! Promise!

[rockymountaindem]

28. Yes but I fear the commute time to Boston University would be killer

:)

[Hawkeye-X]

31. Yeah. 4 hours by air on Jetblue

*blink*

[Lydia Leftcoast]

29. Talk to your landlord

I once had an upstairs neighbor who started running on a treadmill every morning at six.

I was awakened by steady pounding footsteps and the whir of the treadmill after having stayed up late working to match the Tokyo business day.

After I talked to the landlord, the upstairs neighbor moved the treadmill to another room so that I could no longer hear it from my bedroom.

[Coyote_Bandit]

30. I hear ya

I lived in a succession of apartments for over 15 years. All were apartments that hadother apartments above my own. Most of my upstairs neighbors were considerate and made an effort not to be disruptive. However, there were some memoable exceptions:

(1) There was an elderly single retired woman who was given a puppy at the holidays by her grandchildren. Although she was not disabled, the woman was too lazy to take the dog for a walk. She had no problem allowing the pooch to relieve himself on the balcony above my patio. A call to the management solved that problem rather quickly. Or so I thought. Later I learned that the the woman still permitted the same doggie behavior. She installed astroturf on the balconyand built a small planter box that she allowed the dog to use. Disgusting.

(2) There was an aspiring musician. I cpould hear him doing his voice exercises. He had his drum machine wired through his stereo system and the speakers made everything vibrate. He liked to open up the doors and windows and practice. It wasn't bad the first time I heard it. Thing is he had a very limited repitoire and would play the same thing over and over and over. Loudly. He did this kind of crap all hours of the day and night. Management was of no assistance. I got to where I would take a broomstick and beat on the ceiling to alert/disturb him when it was really loud. This went on for months as I was unable to move at the time. Finally the guy moved. Ironically, he dropped the damn drum machine down the stairs and broke it while he was moving out.

(3) There was a very young couple (mid teen and late teen) that did not go to school and had no jobs. They were always there. They were loud. They partied late most nights - sometimes in a large group assembled on a grassy area just outside my bedroom window. It was not uncommon to hear bedroom noises. Management was of no assistance. These kids became hostile to the neighbors when they learned folks had been complaining about their noise. The police would not respond to noise complaints until after apartment security had first investigated the matter. The kids became acquainted with and befriended the rent a cops. Management only interveened after the kids did something really stupid - the kids put notices on all the neighbors doors indicating that they intented to have a party that night that would probably be loud and disruptive and would probably last until at least four or five in the morning and asking that we please not complain. We did. We all compalined in advance. There was no party that night. I moved a short time later. I feel sorry for whoever moved into that apartment after me.

For the most part I have found it ineffective to deal directly with an upstairs neighbor unless either they inquire about noise or you already have a cordial relationship with them before complaining. White noise can be effective in masking some kinds of noise. Responding to disruption and noise with the same ups the ante but it can be somewhat effective if the person isn't aware that they are being disruptive and care to make some modifications. Some managers are better able to deal with noise issues than others. That is something that has as much to do with their ability to confront as it does with contract terms and company policies.

I wish you well.....

[SmokingJacket]

32. When my cat rolls a marble around upstairs, it sounds like a

wheelbarrow full of rocks. There's something about an old house that just echoes.

Putting a padded carpet down might make a difference... definitely go to your landlord and see what can be done.

[LisaM]

34. I lived above someone for a while

I didn't like it. I'd rather put up with someone else's noise than have to worry about my noise (not that I'm exceptionally noisy). But I liked to jump rope for exercise in bad weather, and I'd always run down first (our building was set up like Hollywood Squares and I was right in the middle) to see if the neighbors below me were home. I also have had problems in shared housing (or even living close to a neighbor) because I like to do laundry and cleaning late at night (starting at about 11:00 p.m., those are just good times for me, when I have energy). But I didn't stomp or shake bags of silverware!

Of course, if I was up doing laundry till 2:00, I was hardly up at 7:00 making more noise!

[NJCher]

37. hahah

My brother lived next to someone like you. The complex had a rule that no wash could be done after 10 p.m. but some guy routinely ignored it. My brother had to get up early for his techie job and the washer and dryer kept him awake.

So he wired the machine in a way he could control it from his bedroom across the hall. After that, whenever the guy would wash after 10, my brother would switch off the machine. The guy would come down to transfer his clothes to the dryer but he would find the load unfinished in the washer. He would then have to wring it out in the sink and drag it upstairs because--oh how mysterious--the dryer didn't work either.

This went on and on and on. One day my brother just happened to walk outside and hear the offending tenant being told that a repairman had been called and was coming the next day. My brother removed his wiring job and after that he allowed the late-night washing guy one wash. Then he rewired it again so he could control it.

That happened about 10 years ago and I still laugh every time I think of it. The poor silly bastard learned the hard way that the washer worked during the day. It just didn't work at night.



Cher

[Deep13]

35. What can you do?

All he's doing is walking around and normal stuff. I don't think the landlord has a duty to alter the structure of the building. Apartment dwellers generally do not have a right to silence, just a right from unreasonable noise. The best you might be able to do is to ask your neighbor to take his shoes off.

[rockymountaindem]

36. I'm not talking about silence

I'm talking about *constant* door slamming, stomping and furniture movement that goes on from before 6:30 AM until after midnight. Like I said I can hear it over the TV and the computer even when I have my headphones on. I think that anything that drowns out headphones could be considered "unreasonable".

[NJCher]

38. some people are just loud

They have no sensitivity to what klutzes they are.

Hey, I remembered a time when I was loud and someone told me I was. The way they told me was very effective. I immediately altered my behavior.

I was in a B&B in England with a friend. We were having trouble figuring out the shower. We would turn it on and it would throw water in our faces, across the room, etc. We were laughing hysterically at how inept we were with this British shower.

Back in our room, we were still laughing. All of a sudden, a knock at the door. A very kind but firm voice said, "Perhaps you're not aware but your voices do carry throughout the building." We immediately whispered, "We're sorry!" and STFU and went to bed.

Best way to say it that I've ever heard.



Cher

p.s. I wish that would work for you but I don't think it will. It's in his genes.

Still laughing over "stompy" upthread.

[Fire Walk With Me]

39. Ask him nicely and if that fails, I have ten syllables for you.

Subwoofer and "Miami Bass" CDs.

[truedelphi]

40. I like the Charles Bronson approach.

After you talk to him.

And maybe you could record the noise he makes when he is jangling all his silverware in a sack and play it back REAL LOUD.

[riverdeep]

41. Good luck

Hopefully you'll get some results from your landlord, but if not, you'll have to live with it. I'm reminded of that scene in the Blues Brothers where they're sleeping in an apartment next to the L. Hopefully, it's not THAT bad.

For a year I lived in a downstairs apartment and all was well. I thought the building must be really well-constructed because I rarely heard a peep from my upstairs neighbor. Then they moved out. A new couple moved in. Next thing I know, I hear constant LOUD walking at all hours of day and night. One worked during the day another worked at night, so they could take turns annoying me. They had an infant that sounded like they were taking lit cigarettes to-just constant screaming. They also had a habit of moving what sounded like furniture constantly, apparently they go to some school for bad neighbors. I got a look at them one time-they were huge. I couldn't figure out how they could do so much walking and still be enormous. I reasoned that they must have refrigerators positioned at different points at the apartment and the calories just evened out.

Luckily, my heater/air conditioner was quite loud, so when I turned it on, it blocked out most of the noise. I also got a loud fan, placing it in the room gives a breeze and covers up sound. When it was really bad, I stuck in soft earplugs. When they're soft, you can wear them for long periods. I also used a sound generator on my computer going to computer speakers. I liked the rain program. It's called Atmosphere Lite, it's free.

Bad neighbors suck.

[dropkickpa]

42. I'm Loud. Dropkid's loud. We're shitty neighbors!

We're heavy walkers (even when she was about 20lbs. D-Kid sounded like a herd of elephants tap dancing) and talk loud, yell, laugh, etc. That said, I always make a point of 1) talking to prospective new neighbors and warning them, it's only fair 2) TRYING to keep it down as much as possible after 11pm (I too prefer to clean late at night, but have curbed that habit) and 3) I don't care if my neighbor is loud, so long as it's not over mine or Dropkid's bedrooms after 11pm on work/school nights or early in the morning. Otherwise, I tell them to have at it. My ideal neighbors either have loud ass kids themselves or are gone when we're home.

My upstairs neighbor moved out this month (dammit, she worked nights AND spent most of her time at her girlfriends, so I rarely worried about bugging her), so I'm just waiting to see who we get up there, because sound carries a LOT between each place (I can usually hear everything going on up there).