Is a spouse withholding sex legitimate grounds for having an affair?

[LostInAnomie]

As a natural extension of this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6934086&mesg_id=6934086

If a spouse is withholding sex from you for an extended period of time, is that legitimate grounds for going outside the marriage for sex?

[wildhorses]

1. other, counseling and/or separation

ymmv

:hide:

[Droopy]

2. Affairs can make a struggling marriage irreparable

[AlCzervik]

3. good lord if a marriage gets to that point, the first scenario and then the second please

just get divorced.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

4. No, because whatever problems you've got with your marriage

are going to spill over into any extramarital relationship you might have. And it doesn't matter whether the affair is "just a fling" or not.

It's not right to involve a third party...

[Ellen Forradalom]

5. Not legitimate

But it can happen.

[JVS]

6. Dump the nogoodnik spouse first

[WildEyedLiberal]

7. no, but I'd say it's grounds for a divorce

Assuming counseling wouldn't solve the problem/isn't an option

[Jamastiene]

8. I vote no. I don't think there are any grounds for having an affair

at all anyhow. A cheater is still a cheater no matter what the excuse. Either separate, divorce or learn to deal with each other.

[Withywindle]

9. I vote Other

Because it's not grounds for deception (why make a bad situation worse?), but it's definitely grounds for confrontation, counseling, and if that doesn't help, making tracks.

There's also the possibility of open-marriage negotations if the problem really is an honest sexual-compatibility variance. But that's different from cold-blooded manipulation.

[midlife_mo_Jo]

10. No.

It's legitmate grounds for divorce, though.

Just because one spouse isn't holding up his end of the bargain, doesn't mean the other spouse should sink that low.

JMO :)