The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poem Thread, 9/18/07

[BlueIris]

"Month 10"

Nice shirt, mine is better,
Wear a hockey mask,
Who could scream louder?
Do you want me to bleach your eyebrows?
Gimme the tennis racket,
I’m gonna scream,
Do you want me to knock you unconscious?
Talk to Tina,
My blinds are ruined,
I got a new one,
Watch A.S. pull her nipple,
Check this out,
It's soft and squishy,
Hi, it's George,
Georgia?
I went to the lake,
Wouldn’t it be neat if a machine came out
Of the wall?
Crashed Jeep,
Dammit, I ripped my pants,
Shut-up; dogs?
It's convenient, efficient,
Just breathe in,
Close the window,
Is that a lawnmower or a melody?
Plu not Blue,
Petroleum rots your brain,
Hey, come over here: why?
Carrots,
Get outta here!
Piss in the tunnel,
Have a nice day,
Do you have a cigarrette?
Could I have my clothes back?
Golf course; chain smoker,
I think too much,
We'll build a booby trap, tomorrow,
On month ten, two years,
We can't be friends, sorry,
They tore it down,
Just say I didn’t.

—Luis Ortiz

[ThomCat]

1. I must be missing something, because this makes no sense

to me. :shrug:

[BlueIris]

2. I think of it as...kind of a mood piece.

I've always thought it was trying to evoke the chaotic, random quality of friendships/relationships among the idle young in America--kids in their late teens/early 20s, whose bonds with their peers are sealed within insular, encoded inside jokes, references to personal history, hobbies and popular culture. I like the fact that this poem is written in bits of dialog, hinting at the nature of these transient relationships but never showing us the big picture of the speakers' lives, because, of course, we couldn't see it, as we are on the outside of their cluttered yet exclusive "pod."

[BlueIris]

3. Kick.

[wildhorses]

4. looks like the ending of a 10 month relationship to me.

could be wrong. :donut:

i love the cadence of it. the beat, man, the beat. gotta read it out loud. :hi:

[BlueIris]

5. Oh, I totally think it can be interpreted that way (and other ways, of course).

And you're right about the rhythm.

[wildhorses]

6. i really appreaciate you kicking these

retro got me addicted to a MORNING POEM with my coffee. i understand you did not want to do a journal so the kicking helps, thanks :)

:hug:

[BlueIris]

7. I think I'll post them in the "night" part of the morning and see if that helps

them become more popular.

I have such a random schedule though that I'll probably start posting them in the evenings again eventually.

[wildhorses]

8. as long as they are kicked --

and, i have been known to hunt them down...i get the jones, ya know ;)

[BlueIris]

9. Kick.

[BlueIris]

10. Kick.