The Ineffectual Insults Thread.

[baby_mouse]

There's a great deal of exceedingly effective... putting down of people on this message board, which I think is unimaginative.

Surely we can do worse than this?

Feeling a bit shy, are we? Then I'll begin.

ZombyWoof?

Your nostril hairs are slightly longer than those of normal people. And you're no good at darts.

THERE! I've said it. That should clear the air.

[edbermac]

1. Why don't you go take a short walk on a long pier?

:P

[baby_mouse]

16. I know I am but what are you?

Damn.

[northzax]

2. you sir,

are marginally less attractive to women than Brad Pitt.

[baby_mouse]

13. Hmf.

Well, I didn't want to bring it up, but you leave me no choice. Your beard is assymettrical!

[northzax]

3. yo momma's so nice

she made us all cookies.

[baby_mouse]

22. Well, she didn't make ME any,

you mother-stealer.

[northzax]

39. she likes to be called 'Big Momma

for some reason...

[Heidi]

4. Degenerate and base art thou.*

(I think that's what I like best about you. ;) )

*From The Two Gentlemen of Verona

[baby_mouse]

23. Darling.

Decadent and bass. Decadent and bass.

A rich, mellifluous, sonorous bass, at that... B-) :*

Although I can stretch to a more-than-convincing tenor when the occasion demands and I feel my audience deserves it... :D

[Heidi]

35. If you insist, then "bass" it is.

Don't Tase me, bro. :P

:*

[Gormy Cuss]

5. If Ann Richards had met you, she would have described you as

"All tam, no sheep."

[baby_mouse]

15. Gormy, you may have proved a worthy opponent...

Were it not for your chronic alexia leading you to misread the word "Ineffectual" in the title of this thread for "Incomprehensible".

[krispos42]

38. *snort*

LOL

[Orrex]

6. Your pancreas is entirely unphotogenic

Somebody had to say it. I'm just sorry that it had to be me.

[baby_mouse]

21. That, in fact, is a matter of SOME SENSITIVITY, Orrex.

Thus, I shall thank you to leave off making such pointed remarks!

And given your gall bladder's abysmal singing voice, I mean COUGH, pot, kettles, glass houses and stones! MEANINGFUL SILENCE... if you get my drift.

[Orrex]

27. I'll have you know that Beyonce sings backup for my gall bladder

And, on the bright side, your spleen tells the most marvelous one-liners.

[baby_mouse]

28. Beyonce. I rest my case. But you are gracious, and right about my spleen.

And I must say your duodenum is quite the coquettish little minx, eh? nudge, nudge ;-)

[Orrex]

31. Aw, shucks!

And I thought that no one had even noticed!

:blush:

[baby_mouse]

34. You're kidding, right? Gastric-mucus-gasmotron!

Phwwooooar!

[JTG of the PRB]

7. Yo momma's so tall,

she played basketball in college then decided to raise a lovely family.

[baby_mouse]

24. jtg33, you have WON this thread.

You're so bad at insulting people I can't bring myself to insult you in return even ineffectually.

[skygazer]

8. Your penmanship is atrocious

and you dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

[baby_mouse]

19. Skygazer...

Insults from you regarding one's attire, as anyone would attest, can only make one feel better about oneself. You dress in the manner of a tour guide on an inexpensive package holiday.

Ner :P

[Deep13]

9. You people would make lousy murderers. nt

[baby_mouse]

25. You have CROSSED A LINE.

A conga line, actually. Whilst carrying a tray of cocktails.

Hilarity ensued, apparently.

[SoxFan]

10. Your earwax is a foul shade of orange

[baby_mouse]

14. Oh you think so, do you?

I'll have you know my earwax has won awards! And YOU'RE one to talk! Your pet hamster has dandruff! So badly that you don't need to put sawdust in his cage!

[Dr. Strange]

11. Your father is an elderberry...

and your mother smells of hamsters.

No, wait, that's not it...

[baby_mouse]

17. Your hamster smells of elderberries...

uuhhh...

[FloridaJudy]

29. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

I wave my private parts at your auntie.

[baby_mouse]

33. The back of your head is slightly flatter than the backs of normal people's heads.

And you NEVER wear matching cufflinks. Don't think we haven't all noticed.

[Downtown Hound]

12. Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason the world spins on an axis!

[baby_mouse]

26. ..."...#15...

?

[RandomKoolzip]

18. "I've seen your sister and she looks like an abcess."

Sorry, I stole that one from Buck Henry...

[baby_mouse]

20. Fah! You taunt my abscesses at your peril!

Mind your tongue, sir, or I'll hit you with a lawsuit that'll give you sisters!

(Um.... did I get that right?)

[FloridaJudy]

30. Why do you need to bully people?

Is it just to make up for your small pancreas?

[baby_mouse]

32. Sob. YOU PROMISED YOU'D STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

:cry:

[FuzzySlippers]

36. Your left shirtsleeve has a wrinkle

and your shoes are slightly scuffed.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

37. Your Mother who wore "boats" on her feet

is now standing on my shadow and I will not tolerate it I tell you.

[krispos42]

40. Your appendix is asymmetrical!

And whenver you try to take the wrapper off of a drinking straw you kink it.

[hisownpetard]

41. The birthmark on your face has an irregular shape. nt

[ghostsofgiants]

42. Your mother wears army boots.

[soleft]

43. A retort if someone tells you to go to hell

Or H E double toothpicks -


I've been there and I didn't like the milk and cookies your mother was serving.

[zanne]

44. You have a big uvula. nt

[ONION]

45. my first post shall be a simpsons post

Since it applies to this:

"Past instances in which i claimed to like you were fraudulent."

Anyways im bailing out of work.

Onions Rule