tell a joke...

[radfringe]

a grasshopper goes into a bar. He orders a beer. While sipping the beer the bartender says "ya know, we have a drink named after you.."

the grasshopper says "Wow! a drink named Bob."

[JTG of the PRB]

1. Two nuns walk into a bar...

...which is REALLY funny because the second one should have seen it coming!

[BOSSHOG]

6. Two Nuns get into a car wreck

They go to a garage but the mechanic sends them to a fruit stand because he heard Nuns traveled in "pairs."

[Parche]

9. Hey Boss

Orange you glad you are here today?:hi:

[irish.lambchop]

2. Here goes -

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted

[radfringe]

3. .........

:spray: :rofl:

[Rambis]

4. whats the difference between Rush Limpdog and the Hindenburg?

One is a flaming nazi gas bag and the other is just a dirigible.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. So a Republican is sitting on the shitter, thinking...

nah, just kiddin'. Obviously not.

[MrCoffee]

7. 3 pregnant ladies are sitting around talking, and the 1st pregnant lady says

"i haven't been to the dr. yet, but i know i'm having a boy."

The other 2 ask her how she knows if she hasn't been to the dr. The 1st pregnant lady says "i know it's a boy because i was on top."

The 2nd pregnant lady laughs and says "well if that's true i'm having a girl because i was on bottom."

The 3rd pregnant lady bursts into tears. The other 2 calm her down and ask her why she was crying.

The 3rd pregnant lady says "if you two are right then i'm having puppies!"

[Mugu]

8. Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, G.W. Bush, and Jane Fonda?

A: Jane Fonda actually went to Vietnam.

[Dr. Strange]

10. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

I forget how the rest of it goes...

[radfringe]

11. a nun goes into a liquor store about an hour before closing time

asks the owner for a bottle of whiskey

Owner says "gee Sister, I didn't know nuns drank hard liquor"

Sister: It's for the mother superior, she's constipated.

The nun pays for the whiskey and leaves.

about an hour later, the owner locks up the store and heads for his car. He stumbles over the nun laying in the middle of the parking lot, whiskey bottle is empty

He helps up the overly intoxicated nun, and says "I'm shocked Sister, you told me the whiskey was for your mother superior who was constipated"

the nun opens one eye ans slurs "Yeah, and she's sure gonna shit when she see me..."

[JTG of the PRB]

12. A nun, a horse, and a rabbi walk into a bar...

The bartender looks up at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"

[Bravo Zulu]

13. A Nun is teaching class

and she asks the students what they want to be when they grow up?

Little Susie says "I want to be a prostitute when I grow up".

The nun screams at her, "what did you say"!

Little Susie says "I want to be a prostitute when I grow up".

The Nun says, "thank God, I thought you said Protestant"!

[neweurope]

14. Ahem... for women only!

Male brain cell meets another male brain cell and asks, alarmed: "Where are all the others?"
Replies the other: "All downstairs!"

----------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[Esra Star]

15. Chimp telling a joke.

For those who missed it.
It's the seal/penguin one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1AeCsIKq8g