My glass of Prosecco, per favore. Another little tussle in GD. I'm not poor enough!

[CTyankee]

Discussion was about budgeting ideas. Posted mine. Got branded for "notunderstanding the poor."

Is there a word for this?

[NewJeffCT]

1. You're a Yankee elitist

just like me.

link to the thread?

[CTyankee]

2. Oh, you like Prosecco, too? n/t

[NewJeffCT]

3. I don't even know what it is, to be honest

but, I'm sure they'd find something to criticize me about

[CTyankee]

4. It's an Italian sparkling wine. They drink it as an aperitivo. It is light and delicious.

And fairly cheap (if you don't drink too much of it). You can also mix it with peach nectar and make a classic Bellini or with pomegranate juice (in the fall) for a Pomegranate Bellini. Nice.

Yeah, they'd probably "get" you on that thread. While I enjoy the sparring at times, I get slightly depressed thinking that there are people out there who are such, well, busybodies...

[NewJeffCT]

24. well

just the fact that I can afford to live in a nice town in Connecticut probably puts me on somebody's list somewhere.

[Suich]

7. Link here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=1935340

[CTyankee]

10. Thanks. It speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Sorry for just responding the the question that the OP asked!

[Suich]

16. Looks like you hit a nerve.

That thread kind of took on a life of it's own, didn't it?

:)

[pitohui]

17. honestly i can see why the other poster was offended

some of the people in that thread are in serious trouble and you are talking about nonsense like canceling gym memberships, which normal people on a budget in my income group have never had to begin with, i've never had CABLE and you're talking about reducing your cell phone bill, hello, i've never had a cell phone bill to reduce, it just isn't gonna happen

i think you should have been more gracious about realizing that you'd come in bull in china shop style talking about something you really don't know anything about

it's easy to trim the fat in a budget when you are high income

not so easy when there is no discretionary to begin with

honestly, to tell people in trouble to cancel gym memberships, low income people don't go to bleeping gyms!

this person's answer was meant to be a reality check, not a cruelty, and it was honestly what probably about a million of us reading the thread were thinking:

So what do you do when you've never had a gym, cell phone, or any other similar luxury; don't eat out, or even have leftovers because you have your food budget down to the exact amount you need per dinner. I know you mean well, but your post is pure comedy to over half the country. Sell everything you've got to pay for medical bills, then come back and talk about how 'liberated' you feel.

was that really such a terrible reply or was it just an honest reply that you weren't prepared for?

budget isn't a hobby for everyone, it's life or death for some people, i've known people to have to declare bankruptcy because they had cancer

it ain't about cell phone bills or gym memberships, it's about milk is $5 a gallon and gas is $3 a gallon

[CTyankee]

21. I think I addressed this issue when I said I knew I could be at risk, too,

for bankruptcy due to catastrophic illness or another reversal of fortune. But if you read my response you would have seen that my life is not the life of high income people. When you say I was "talking about something you really don't know anything about", how are you so sure? Do you know me or my life?
I won't bore you about my lean days as a single mother because no matter what you'll come back with yet another story about a person poorer than me and how I don't know what they go thru. Well, I bet neither do you.

And who are you to judge in the first place? You really have a colossal nerve telling me or anyone else that budgeting is a "hobby"! Do you think I do it because I need a hobby? How about "necessity"?

No, I am not at the "survival" level as many of my literacy students were and I'll just bet you aren't either (they don't have PC's, do you? If you do, how dare you criticize those who don't!). I guess that would entitle them to lecture you, but guess what? They are too busy getting on with their own lives to even THINK about doing what you are doing. As a matter of fact, I would love for you to attend one of the financial literacy classes we have held for people at the survival level. Then maybe you won't feel like being such a judgmental know it all.

Finally, lest you forget: I was responding to the OP who asked how people were cutting back. I answered the question honestly so I could contribute to the conversation. You have chosen to "embroider" your own stereotypes onto me and my classes. Shame on you.

[Midlodemocrat]

31. You're wasting your time.

Some people love to scold others on the 'nets. Just ignore them.

Love how people posting all day on an internet message board feel it's okay to whine about their financial situation rather than doing something about it.

[CTyankee]

32. Yes, you are right (sigh).

You know what the funny thing is? That gym membership is $15 a month and if I didn'thave the money for it I would try to "barter" for it, because it is important to me. But I had better not say "barter" to some folks here or god knows what they would call me!

[Midlodemocrat]

33. OT, but I grew up in CT.

Lived there all my life until we moved here in 1991.

[grace0418]

37. Uh, please read the OP of that thread. The OP is talking about

canceling his Amazon.com account, not deciding between paying the gas bill or rent. CTYankee was responding to the OP about the changes she made in her lifestyle and budget, and they were all perfectly reasonable. So the person's huffy reply that you quoted is completely out of line. It really is.

I'm sorry that person, and many other people, can't afford gym memberships. I've definitely been there. But that doesn't give them the right to lash out at people who have different circumstances.

It would be one thing if the OP had said "Wow, the past few months have been tough. I don't have money to feed my family *and* take public transportation to work. But if I don't go to work I'll have even less money to feed my family. Does anyone have any advice for me?" and CTYankee had replied "Well, yes, sell some of your diamond jewelry, lay off two of your servants, and buy clothes off the rack for a few months. It worked for me!" Then I would take offense at that post. It's all about context.

[swag]

5. Love the Prosecco. We toasted with it the day Scooter was convicted.

Used to have a jpeg of some guy holding a bottle with "PROS ECCO" tattooed on his knuckles.

Too lazy to search for it today.

[LynneSin]

28. I drank it on the day I settled on my house

my house is in the middle of the Italian neighborhood - it seemed appropriate

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I read that. Obviously you're not poor enough to be a progressive

and therefore you are to be despised and have no right to discuss budgeting. Others have less than you; don't you dare talk about cutting back on your spending. And for sure, don't mention the Proseco.

:sarcasm:

Goofy shit, definitely.

[CTyankee]

11. Thanks, ocelot!

The whole thing is funny, since I always aim to live below my standard of living!

As for the Prosecco, well, it is a lot cheaper than French champagne! And (to my taste) a lot better than its Spanish counterpart (forget its name, didn't like it when I tried it). So it isn't that expensive, especially if you only have it once in a while!

[Momgonepostal]

8. It's tough to talk finances with a large, varied income group.

This isn't just a GD thing. I've gotten into scuffles about this kind of thing on other boards. The most maddening ones I can remember involve women telling me I could be a stay at home mom if I just sacrificed a little more. :eyes: One woman was under the impression that all working mothers spend their money on things like new cars, fancy vacations and cable. When I told her we drove old clunkers, never went on vacation, and had a 19 inch TV with rabbit ears, she was still convinced we were living the high life in some other way.

It took me a few times, but I finally figured out it's best not to get into personal finance discussions with people on message boards.

I got what you were saying, though. I think some others took it to personally.

[CTyankee]

13. Thanks, Mom. No wonder you've gonepostal! This ticks me off big time!

I am so discouraged about the mommy wars. I was a stay at home Mom for 10 years, then a working mom for about 10 more. I have something to say: There is no harder job in the world than raising children! And there is no more important job in the world than raising children!

We've got to start with that premise, right there, damnit! Mothers should not be attacking other mothers. We are all in this together. We should be organizing to help families to raise healthy children. That should be our goal.

In my last full time job I had an exit interview and I pleaded for management to grant parents the right to use their own sick leave to stay home with a sick child. I had no young kids at the time. It was just the right thing to do in my opinion. I wish there were a corner of the world where I could be an advocate for that! I will keep trying, though...

[skygazer]

9. I love it when people take you to task for not understanding poverty

and they do it on their computer with their internet access. :rofl:

[fudge stripe cookays]

12. Judgemental

I saw that thread. Blow em off.

All of us do what we can to cut back in our own ways. Are you supposed to apologize for doing okay financially? I think any of us who are doing alright are thanking the higher power for it. Because that could change at any time.

I haven't cut back much lately, only because reprehensor and I are living in separate states, and are trying to sell our house. I had to make quite a few major initial outlays for the new place (basic needs type of stuff, and cheapo furniture). But we're cutting back again when he gets up here.

[CTyankee]

15. Oh, you are so right! It COULD change any time, and I am aware of that!

It seems that you always have to re-assess your own situation. My semi retirement, and then my (forced, because of health reasons) full retirement, gave me pause and I had to re-assess again.

My point was and is that everyone has their own way of budgeting, whether they call it that or not. The very poor people I worked with were not so stupid that they couldn't figure that out! They were intelligent, resourceful people who just happened not to know English. You just can't make snap judgments about folks if you don't know them and haven't spoken with them and learned about their situations.

[yellowdogintexas]

23. you are so right, as usual dearie. We are lucky right now to

have more income than in prior years, but it is inconsistent, in that MrYDIT can go unpaid for periods and then paid obxcenely for other periods. Makes it hard to really buildup a deep reserve because the shallow reserve gets used when he is unpaid.

Ironically he is being paid obscenely because of the high price of oil and gas, since he is a petroleum geologist.

However, we have zeroed out our credit cards, paid off my car, and postponed some long desired home improvements; we do what we gotta do. Hey, been in the beans and rice every day budget area and hated it. But I can do it again if I have to.


Many of us exercise budgeting in other ways: I never shop from anything but the 50% or more sale rack, sometimes I get really lucky, like the $6 pair of jean shorts I got last week. Sometimes I don't.

LOL if I could stop myself from buying books I would have more money!

[fudge stripe cookays]

26. I feel with ya, hon.

Just buying basic needs stuff up here I was running into the multiple hundreds, just for some basic dishes, sheets and the like. Thank God for Big Lots and Target.

And up here they still have K-Mart, so I worshiped at the altar of Martha once again.

[yellowdogintexas]

29. didja know Martha jumped ship to Macy's now? LOL just found

that out last week.

don't forget the GoodWill, and other thrift shops.


run into any more old hags?

[fudge stripe cookays]

30. Yep, I've been seeing the commercials.

Was wondering if she was going to do double-duty or what. That's gonna be the kiss of death for ole K-Mart, I think.

I gotta FIND some thrift shops. I've been staying pretty much within my comfort zone so far, but when I start getting braver and branching out a bit, I will probably be able to find one eventually. When Al gets up he can help me reconnoiter more too. Right now I am a slave to Fargo's walking schedule.

No more old hags. Yay! But the desk I bought when she attacked me is a hunk of junk, sadly. And you're talking to someone that's been putting furniture together for almost 30 years now. The keyboard shelf is useless.

[cobalt1999]

14. Don't worry.

DU is not representative of reality. For that fact, I'm thankful everyday.

[petronius]

18. Those threads pop up every once in a while

I haven't looked at the current version, but generally what happens is when someone dares to post a suggestion that isn't totally applicable to all people in all situations, they are immediately castigated as a "filthy-rich capitalist pigdog who doesn't understand poverty because they're too busy slurping Cristal out of a Baccarat slipper." Or something like that (it's not an actual quote, by the way)...

[pitohui]

19. yes people in pain are hurt when their pain is trivialized EOM

.

[petronius]

20. Whatever definition of "trivialized" you're using is not in any dictionary

I've ever seen. Why would you (or anyone) think that just because a suggestion isn't directly applicable to your situation that the person making it is ignorant or 'trivializing'?

[CTyankee]

22. This is what I don't get. I talked about financial literacy ESOL classes I had held

for people at the "survival" level. They were eager to learn how to manage what little money they had and to navigate as best they could far from their home and without the ability to speak English. Should THEY be attacked for "trivializing" some other (hypothetical) person's poverty?

Good god!

[grace0418]

38. No, in the case of that thread, people took offense at perfectly reasonable comments.

No one was trivializing anyone's pain. People are just in different places in life.

[Flying Dream Blues]

25. You didn't deserve it...that was ridiculous. But it sure does happen

around here. I think the word might be sanctimonious? Also, not quite sure why the original poster didn't draw the ire that you did...he actually used to buy books, on an Amazon membership! Anyway, I think you're great and hope you have a really good day!
:hi:

[CTyankee]

34. Thanks. I'm still mystified tho...

[LynneSin]

27. Prosecco is not that expensive of sparkly

I had a bottle of that when I settled on my house

[QueenOfCalifornia]

35. Silly, Silly you....

Happens here all the time -

I have gone months at a time not posting because of people who take a statement of fact and make it into their own crusade to make me miserable.

I quit putting up with lectures like the one in that thread when I left home at 17 - What I got out of what you posted was not negative, you were trying to take into account all the variables - I wish I was better at budgeting..... I admit, it is a big weakness of mine.

Peace.

[CTyankee]

39. I was dragged kicking and screaming into making a budget!

We were finally buying a house after not being able to afford the 20% down payment (until we found out my husband qualified for a VA loan w/no money down). I was scared witless that I'd sign the loan papers and then find out, eeek, that I couldn't afford it. So I sat down and did a manual budget (no computer at the time) on a yellow pad. It was enlightening and a relief just to know.

Sometimes fear drives you to change the way you look at something...

[grace0418]

36. What's really funny is that all the folks telling you that *they* have Real Problems

that YOU cannot possibly understand are all online, posting on an internet forum. I suppose some of them might be living in shelter and getting online at the library, but I think it's safe to say that the majority of them have computers, and internet service, and electricity for that matter. When I was living the leanest times of my life I had no computer or television or cell phone. I was lucky if I had money for the electric bill AND food. And even then I knew I had it better than a lot of people. Lots of people have literally nothing. Nothing.