Spent last night in the ER waiting room

[Ellen Forradalom]

My roommate tripped in the kitchen and accidentally smashed the beer bottle he was holding, thereby slashing his hand in several places. Since he was absolute last priority, we were there six hours until 3:30 am. Still glad we went though--he did need stitches and a tetanus shot.

Since we work at the same place, the story we're going to spread around the office is that he was masturbating with razor blades.

[Droopy]

1. They have a law in Wooster, Massachusettes

Or at least they used to. The law states that if you are drinking in a public establishment you cannot walk around the place carrying your drink. You have to drink it sitting at the bar or at a table. I wonder if incidents like your roommate's were the reason for the law.

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

9. Um, it's Worcester, Massachusetts

says this graduate of Worcester Polytechnic Institute!

but I never heard of this law...

[soleft]

2. I thought the point of making up a story was to improve your image

:shrug:

[CGowen]

3. try razor blade soap

http://fetosoap.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=43

[Tyler Durden]

4. YOU are a VERY SICK person.

I like that.

[CGowen]

6. I know

Over time, the razor blade may rust inside the soap, as glycerin soap has hydrophilic (water loving) properties. Bar is rectangle shaped.

[Ellen Forradalom]

5. The perfect alibi!

[CGowen]

10. Maybe, did you know there is a guy who ate razor blades?

9. Frenchman Michel Lotito, known as Monsieur Mangetout, specialises in eating glass and metal. His diet included supermarket trolley, TV sets, aluminium skis, bicycles, beds, plates, razor blades, a coffin, and even a Cessna 150 light aircraft.

http://worldcup.uk.msn.com/country/france/



VILLARS DE LANS, France (CNN) -- The beautiful French village of Villars de Lans is home to a man with an appetite for things that have nothing to do with the food for which his country is famous.

His name is Michel Lotito, but he is better known as Monsieur Mangetout, a man whose work is eating.
Watch Monsieur Mangetout eat (APTV)

Mangetout, as his name implies ("mange" means to eat, "tout" means "all") eats almost anything. His biggest meal to date is an airplane, but he has a taste for such other delicacies as bicycles and TV sets.

"The biggest thing that I've ever eaten -- which gained me a place in the Guinness Book of Records -- is a plane. It was a Cessna, model number 150," Mangetout says. "I've eaten 18 bicycles, just as many television sets, supermarket trolleys."

....

http://edition.cnn.com/WORLD/europe/9806/11/fringe.mr.eat.everything/

[Madrone]

7. 6 HOURS in the ER?

What are you, in CANADA? The best medical care in the WORLD (read: the US) never requires you to wait.

:D

;)

[Ellen Forradalom]

8. We live in a placid suburban area

ERs back in Chicago which see actual emergencies, such as gunshot wounds, tend to have more pep in their step. Here, the ER is a sleepy, sleepy place.