Y'know why athletes so often sound like morans?

[Oeditpus Rex]

Because radio and teevee sports assholes can't seem to ask them a question that isn't moran-inducing.

"How important is it for you guys to win the first game?"

"What's the feeling in the clubhouse about being in the playoffs for the first time in X years?"

"Talk about Joe Shlabotnik's importance to this team."



Just once, I'd love to hear these respective answers:

"We'd like to go out and fuckin' tank the first one — just mail it in. That way, we'd get some rest, and also build the tension. I like the added pressure of having to win three out of four."

"Most of the guys don't really give a shit how long it's been. We're in it for ourselves."

"He's a dick. Fuck him."

[Hugin]

1. My pet peeve about sports reporting is the word, "knowledgeable".

:grr:

[XemaSab]

2. It's the same thing with home and garden shows and magazines:

"What do you think about the placement of the furniture in your bedroom?"

"How do you feel about the color of the foliage in the planter box?"

"Tell us how you feel about your new cabinets."

:eyes:

And the homeowners just sound like tools. :P

[Ellen Forradalom]

5. Answers

"I keep tripping over that goddamn cedar chest in the dark."

"Green, green, green. Who designed nature? Henry Ford?"

"Is there a height-enhancing drug? Because I can't reach the top fucking shelf."

[Hugin]

16. LoL!

:thumbsup:

[KitchenWitch]

18. Or for those who are tall

"can they please raise the counters like 4", and raise the bottom shelves as well?"

[petronius]

3. Yeah - I wish they would just stop doing the post-game interviews

if they can't ask non-idiotic questions. One of the many stupid questions I hate is "So, the play where you rolled out to the left and threw back to your wide-receiver in the end zone was a pivotal play. Walk us through that..."

[Ellen Forradalom]

4. While sports may be fun

they don't make the best conversation fodder.

My father, a composer, worked with dancers and often quoted Virgil Thomson: "Dancers are autoerotic and have no conversation." To which I reply: Thomson only said that because he didn't hang out with runners. Training, race times, injuries....fun to run, a bit dull to talk about. Same goes for other sports shoptalk.

[Oeditpus Rex]

6. Depends on who's talking

and what about.

A friend and I like to analyze plays, games, series, entire seasons. We speculate on reasons things happened and others didn't.

We also rag a lot on the stupid side of sports. :D

[cobalt1999]

8. LOL, you nailed the runners conversations

Pace, wind, hills, race organization, upcoming races, training...on and on. I don't even attend our local running club meetings anymore because the topics are always the same.

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. No, it's because they so often ARE morans, and the sports "journalists" are, too.

Man, that's a fucking scam - sports "journalism" - ain't it? All the class and valor of Middle School Cafeteria Executive Chef or Senior Executive Head Driver of the Garbage Truck.

Christ.

You write about sports, you jackasses. Don't try to dress it up with the word "journalist".

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. I'm talking about teevee and radio

Sportswriters — some of them, anyway — still give us some pretty good journalism. Teevee and radio guys, at their best, give us highly condensed versions of that.

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Oh, yeah, the TV and radio guys are even dumber than the print guys.

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. I'll take that as a compliment

Because I'm just that pathetic. :)

[ghostsofgiants]

15. My roommate has a subscription to Sports Illustrated...

The library is located in our bathroom. I feel dumber after every bowel movement.

Edit: Why the shit did I capitalize "subscription"? That's how dumb reading sports journalism makes you.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. You're capitalizing like a crazed albino rhino on steroids, primate1!

That's the biggest capitalization I've seen since Flaubert mistakenly capitalized the second word of his novel La Tentation de Saint Antoine, which as you know would be a major spelling error, like forgetting to empty your colostomy bag at your son's Bar Mitzvah! Well, that was one the best posts I've seen here on DU today, truly magnificent, and it really brought joy to the fans. I'm so excited I feel like a racehorse that's just been put out to stud with a bishop's chalice being kicked out the window! And primate1 would go on to continue to post at DU, even suffering the broken spirit of bad capitalization, because he's a 150% kind of guy!

[BlooInBloo]

9. Because they are. Duh.

[Mythsaje]

10. Hate sports...

BUT, it's interesting to note that's where Keith O. came from.

:shrug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. And there, too

he was exceptional.