Would you be bothered if your child decided to call you by your first name?

[LeftyMom]

My son wants to call me by my first name and I don't mind, but my Dad and sister get bent of shape when they hear him use my name because they think it's disrespectful. I don't really see it that way, everybody else calls me by my first name, and it's easier in public because my given name, while common for my age group, is somewhat more distinctive than "Mom!"

Anybody else run into this issue or have an opinion on the matter?

[SeattleGirl]

1. My daughter never asked to do that, but if she had, it wouldn't bother

me.

I do think that kids LeftyKid's age sometimes want to do that. I know some of my friends' kids did at that age.

[LibraLiz1973]

2. Not so much disrespectful as not appropriate IMHO

You are, in fact, MOM.
Calling you by your first name
breaks a parent/child bond.

Again- IMHO.

I would not dream of calling my mother
by her first name. She is my MOM. She earned the name
and I say it with great affection.

Edited to say: I work with my mom so at work I will refer to her by her first name if I am talking about her to someone else.
But I'm never really comfortable with it.
My mom is my BFF, but, she is still my mom.

[Beausoir]

3. I LOVE it when they do. I love to hear my name from them.

I encourage them to call me by my name.

But then...when they are in mom's boot-camp....."Yes M'am" is required.

[Kali]

4. don't think I would be bothered, but it would sure feel weird.

Mom is who I am to them. I would never call my parents that to their face, although we jokingly called our parents by their first names when we made fun of them in high school.

On the other hand husband and most of his siblings called their dad by his name (all but the spoiled oldest girl - at 65 still refering to him as Daddy) His name was Fred and he was so much just Fred that you had to call him that.

[Ptah]

5. About two years ago, my then twenty-two year old son started addressing me by my first name.

At first it was a shock, almost a disappointment.



But since I don't call him 'son' I'm good with his choice.

[swag]

6. Didn't have a kid, because it became very clear to me around 1987 that the worst thing

for the planet would be more humans, in terms of destruction of the environment and of many species, including our own. Also, I figured that reproducing would be a great disservice to the reproduced, in terms of leaving them in such a terminal sewer as our planet earth. So I did the right thing and got sterilized.

If I had a kid, though and s/he wanted to call me by my first name, I would pour her/him a nice strong drink and we would laugh.

[Ptah]

7. .

:thumbsup:

pre-edit to add:

[swag]

8. Well, some day we'll have that nice strong drink and laugh.

[asthmaticeog]

9. Add this post to the pigpile of reasons that I love you dearly, sir.

:patriot: :hug: :pals:

[flvegan]

16. So, after the non-population...

you went vegan? Totally solar?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. you are so funny. its why i adore you.

[Phillycat]

25. Ha!

Me and my tied tubes salute you! :patriot:

[midlife_mo_Jo]

10. IMO, you have a right to be addressed by the "name" you choose

I think it's disrespectful to address someone by a name you know they don't want. Now, if you're just fine with it, it's between you and him.

Personally, I prefer that my children calle me "mom," "momma," or "mommy," because I prefer to emphasize the parental relationship with my children. We're a very close,, but very casual family that deals with issues with a lot of humor - we're not too serious - and calling me "mom" is a reminder not to step over the line, I suppose.

[Withywindle]

11. My parents insisted on it all along!

They never liked the idea of being reduced to a biological role, not individuals. And since their first names where how they addressed each other, I naturally picked that up from infancy and they really bristled when I picked up the "mom" and "dad" thing at kindergarten and tried to inflict it on 'em. Made sense to me when they explained it: I wouldn't have wanted to be addressed as "Kid" or "Daughter" either.

[Inchworm]

12. It's you, the addressed, that matters

I couldnt take it but thats just me. If you can that's all good.

:hi:

[qnr]

13. Yeah, once I was over the shock of discovering that I had a child :)

Actually, no, if I had a child I wouldn't mind at all.

[Name removed]

14. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Book Lover]

15. Yes, but

I call him by his title ("Son") most times, too, so it's a two-way street.

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. Nah

I'd figure they'd get over it in about two days.

[Mythsaje]

18. My boys do...

:shrug:

A long story. They've had a few stepfathers during the time when we didn't have contact. They call me "dad" sometimes and by my name the rest of the time. It doesn't bother me either way. When I dropped them off this Summer, their mother made it clear that, from now on, they'll never call anyone else but me "dad."

[Breeze54]

19. How old is he?

If he's a youngster, I wouldn't like it, as he may be trying to usurp your authority.

If he's older than 21, then he may be playing with your head, for kicks. :P
Testing the waters, so to speak.

I vaguely remember my youngest trying that the last year of high school but his behavior
also told me that he was getting to big for his britches, so I put a stop to it. I didn't make
a big deal out of it either except for a few growls. ;)

Now he happily calls me Mom, as it should be. ;)

My 30 yr old called today and said; "Hey Mom, how are you doing?"

My 27 yr. old called and said, "Mom! You know I love you! Sorry I haven't called in awhile."

My 19 yr old calls and says, "Mom, can I borrow?...!" and then

always, without fail; calls from the store, "Mom, What was it that I was supposed to get?"

:P

[bridgit]

20. no...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. Seems to me it's your choice...

If your folks feel it's disrespectful, they can ask that your son call them Granddad and Auntie.

Personally, I like being called Mom. I feel like I earned the title. But if my sister's kids wanted to call her by her first name, I don't think it's any of my business.

I've taught my younger boy to call adult friends "Ms/Mr (first name)", because it seems like a respectful alternative to more formal address.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. of my friends, the one who does call her parents by first name, turned out much more mature and put

together.

[BarenakedLady]

24. Not my thing

They do it to be funny sometimes, but I'd prefer to be called Mom.

[Roon]

26. Does anyone remember that Brady Bunch episode

Where Greg "turns" hippy and he walks past his parents, flashed them the peace sign..and said "Hi Mike, Hi,Carol"...I still laugh when I see that scene.

[NC_Nurse]

27. None of mine have ever done that.

I'm sure it would seem weird at first. I don't know if
I'd be upset or not.
I still call my mom "Mom".

[KatyMan]

28. My sister's son calls

her Honey, because that's what her husband calls her...it's kind of funny, really. she hates it, thinks it's embarrassing in public. He's 4, btw.

[Connonym]

29. I would be an improvement over the current way she addresses me

as "Earth Female" But that doesn't bother me either because it's said out of fun and affection. She also sometimes calls me mom, sometimes calls me "Bub," sometimes by my first name. It's all fine with me because we are very playful with language in general and there's no disrespect behind any of it. Screw convention I say.

[tigereye]

36. that's very cute- Earth female...

:)


I think it's up to you. It really depends on the parent.

My son calls me mom, but I'm kind of old school.

[One_Life_To_Give]

30. Call me old fashioned but

I couldn't bring myself to call my parents by their first names. Can only recall having heard it used in a disrespectful way to one extent or another.

[MissMillie]

31. I think I've earned my "mom" title

I would prefer he used that.

[HERVEPA]

32. My kids are 28 and 30

and call me dad. I hope they always will. Just feels very good to me.
My son does call me "pops" once in a while joking around.
Did I mention they are great kids??

[datasuspect]

33. kids calling their parents by their first names is just peachy keen

that is, if disrespectful kids is your cup of tea.

[Gormy Cuss]

34. I would, but it would bother me if my kid called me "Mom" too.

I prefer the "Ma" or "Mama" tradition.

OTOH as others have said, it's really up to the parent to decide. LK's old enough to understand that you're the mother regardless of what he calls you.

[krispos42]

35. Hell yes!

It bothers me NOW when he does it, and he's only 3. I understand why he does... when he's at his mom's house, her and her boyfriend naturally refer to me by my given name. So that's what he hears, and he forgets sometimes to call me 'Dad' or 'Daddy'.

There is precisely ONE person in the world he can call 'Daddy'. One. And the relationship of father-to-son is so much more than simply a first-name-basis thing.

He has 6.7 billion OTHER people he can address by their first name.

[Morrisons Ghost]

37. My 14 year old

Can do that as soon as he starts paying his share of the mortgage,electric,gas,car insurance,grocery,cable,cell phone along with buy his own clothes and helping his mom and I out without being asked. In other words it wouldn't be a good idea on his part:hi: